1. in which almost die but a magical girl rescues me except she doesn't because she sucks so she turns me into one of her kind like a zombie in a zombie movie but without actually dying and also there's more sparkles and i'm not the one with pink hair

2. moe moe kyun kawaii magical sparkle!!!!

3. magical girl transformations violate the laws of thermodynamics

4. how do women just WALK around with their tits out?

5. cigarettes in space

6. in the end sugar salt needed to take a piss and due to what happened to the ramen we strongly suspected it'd be unwise to do so under such extreme temperatures so we had to go back and i didn't want to die like major tom anyway so the story ends when a