Oct 20, 2021
Love to see internet discourse hasn't changed in all this time, haha!
Very cool rooting around from Quil, I feel the rooting around and digging for meaningful discussion even if for less severe topics than something like Unity's explosion. Tantalising teases here. And I really enjoyed the domestic complications with Trish's interrogation of Rommel, grounds the sequence in a nice and fun way. You can really feel Trish's frustrations with Quil here in a much more thorough way than previously. Here's hoping things improve for them, though I'm sure Quil would have to go through a lot to recognise how obtuse he's being to Trish. But hey, he's got an anomaly to totally not investigate first.
Oct 11, 2021
Oooh, I like that, great direction to take for a naming scheme (and I can understand simplifying them a little too).
Oct 10, 2021
The dynamic/dialogue between Quil and Trisha is very lively and fun, the relationship really comes across well. The Lotus being divided up into Petals is a really neat idea, is the Lotus itself shaped like an actual lotus of is the "Petal" name purely an allusion to the flower? The Sanction is also a cool addition to the setting. I enjoyed the "forte"/"pianissimo" play and the narration leaning into Quil's perspective on the comment about how Trisha couldn't possibly be crying. Sweet teen (mis)adventure vibes to the whole chapter.
Oct 10, 2021
Liking it so far! You do a great job of establishing Quil and Trisha through their demeanours and behaviour, as well as feeding in details on the Lotus and the wider world. I did notice occasional switches to present tense, though nothing too distracting. I'll definitely be reading more!