RadiantDouble96

registered at: Nov 07, 2017
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Mar 16, 2018

To:Jio Kurenai

Well then, it seems that I've gotten a critical piece of informations regarding the "Behind The Scenes" portion of this story. You said the idea of a Renegade's Laws were inspired by the idea of a bedroom, that being that it's your own personal place, with rules you control. Last year, I speculated, which you then confirmed that a reason that they were called "Laws" because they are like the laws of nature. Even Renegades themselves cannot control them, and they only apply within a Renegade's influence, throwing the laws of the outside world out the window. Then that heartens back to what I commented in your latest chapter. What if the Renegade side of a person, including their true form, it not the person themselves, but rather a separate personality? You said that completely mastering a Law requires a true understanding of yourself, which you may or may not be able to acquire alone. Maybe, if the Renegade side is a separate personality, this side is completely sure of itself, which allows it to control the Laws it can use. Then again, based on (spoilers for anyone who has not read up to Chapter 21 yet) Rio's feral outburst, it's possible that this separate personality, if it exists, may not consider about much of anything, which could explain why Laws are beyond even the control of the Renegade I belong to. The conversation on this story has just reached a whole new level after just one new chapter, and I can't wait to see where it goes. As for this portion, I await your reply, and I hope to see this story advance even further going forward.

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Volume 1 Cover
Parable of the Renegades [BETA Version]
Chapter:20




Mar 16, 2018

One thing I forgot to mention in my first comment. Earlier in this story, I commented about Lucas will have to be careful of becoming like Rio in the midst of defending himself. In this chapter, I saw him come very close to embodying a key aspect of her: enjoying another's pain. During the fight, you had written how Lucas was enjoying trying to begin Rio down, while facing conflict with how he should be feeling about her. You wrote how his grin was appearing and disappearing as the fight continues. Granted, I kind of understand Lucas's resentment for her. Most of the time, Rio bullied him like nobody's business, and no he had a chance for payback. The thing is, he was contemplating whether or not payback was really the right thing for him to do. He tried to do, as Stella Procella described it, "put himself in Rio's shoes". And even after the fight ended and Lucas was probably losing what little life was left in his body, he tended to her wounds first and worried about himself second. That's a pretty dynamic character you've made, that Lucas Thorne. Well done.
By the way, at the beginning, you wrote how Rio's wail had spooked a lot of Lucas's neighbors. Am I wrong in assuming that he'll have to deal with that in the morning?
P.S. Something else just occurred to me. In the previous chapter, Lucas actually got ahold of Rio's..."good stuff", as it were, without her knowledge. In other words, Lucas is the only one who knows about this. Am I also wrong in assuming that he may try to use this to his advantage later, or that if he does, it'll immediately come back to bite him? Then again, there's still Davus and Viola to deal with. Something tells me that his interactions with them may grow a bit more awkward thanks to tonight, Viola especially. Then again, he now has something to hold over Davis's head if his friend's antics get out of hand again, just like with that video. Am I right?

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Volume 1 Cover
Parable of the Renegades [BETA Version]
Chapter:21

Mar 16, 2018

To:Deleted User

It looks like you're keeping a close eye on this story, too. What you said about Rio possibly hating herself for her desire for dominance made me wonder. Maybe Rio does hate herself. Maybe not for that, but another reason, and as we've seen, there are lots of possible reasons. For one, when Rio was young, she saw the burglar who killed her parents escape, and try as she might, she couldn't catch him. Maybe she curses herself for that. Meanwhile, she may curse her life of having to be an assassin, as it means that she has to spend a lot of time away from her sister, having to leave her alone for so long. Or even bigger, she may abhor her past frailty, having had to live as a crippled for most of her childhood, and escaping that frailty at the cost of an innocent man's life. There are lots of possibilities to consider, but it's good to consider them and break them down.
Now then, about Lucas. At first, I thought that this chapter merely gave a reminder of his character rather than developing it further, but you've shown me different. As we have seen, Lucas, as a whole, is a kind, hardworking young man who recognizes his own limits. When it comes to dealing with trouble, he waits until an aggressor makes themselves known. And even then, he waits until they throw the first punch before making a move. In the case of Rio, he was mainly passive to all her bullying until she finally pushed him past the breaking point. Then despite all that, Lucas tended to her before himself, despite knowing full well that he was probably worse off than her. He forgave her, essentially. Not with his words, but with his actions. This reminded me of Chapter 16, when the guy in the trench coat who attacked Lucas alongside the mob at the high school said sorry to him and Lucas accepted his apology. Bear in mind, Lucas actually saw Fenris there, and recognized that the situation may not have been fully in his enemies' control. Then again, Lucas asserted that his kindness has its limits, and that he has the means to back up his words, but still. Here, we were reminded of this and saw it go a step further. Maybe Lucas did this out of more than just compassion. Maybe he's trying to salvage his relationship with Rio. Maybe he's trying to keep from becoming like her. He makes you wonder, and that's why I like him. He's a cool guy who can take care of himself, he learns as he grows, and he sticks up for those close to him. Anyway, I'd like to hear your thought on this analysis. Perhaps, we will learn even more from conversing with one another. Maybe we can even produce the next part of the story before the author does, no offense to the author, though, hoping to hear even more from this powerful story very soon. Good night.

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Volume 1 Cover
Parable of the Renegades [BETA Version]
Chapter:21

Mar 16, 2018

Well then, that's the latest chapter. The first thing I have to say is: it's great to be back. I read about how you had some troubles at the beginning of the year, but it looks like you've recovered from them quite well. In addition, I can see how you've really kept your word, to me and to all of your other readers here. This story just keeps ramping up, and there's no sign of it slowing down. Thank you so much for this, for all of the work you've done here.
Now then, for my analysis of this chapter. You were definitely right, Lucas wouldn't get out of this scot-free, but I feel that this time, Rio was actually worse off. Lucas finally managed to show just what kind of resolve he has, and even bigger, he actually remained kind to her. She may even actually feel that he pitied her just now, and she may be right there. It makes me think about just what that may actually have an impact on her now. Overall, for the entirety of her life, no one has really shown pity for Rio at all. Her family didn't, despite how she was crippled, and beyond them, Rio never actually allowed anyone else, as far as I've read, of course, to develop any kind of connections with her. Then you have Lucas, a boy that she's bullied, that she's beaten, and that she's even CURSED, wiping her own blood before tending to his own wounds? That speaks volumes about how their relationship is now and how it may change. When Rio said that she could clean herself up, it made me wonder. Perhaps because Rio basically rebuilt her own life, and her sister's life almost singlehandedly, she's developed a sense of complete self-reliance, maybe considering pity to be an insult to her as an individual. It also occurred to me that after Rio regained some of her composure, she didn't bat an eye or make a twitch at the transformation she underwent. Perhaps Rio has had more than one previous encounter with her "inner monster". She may not know how to control her new instincts, but she's at least used to it. By the way, the part where Rio basically turned on Lucas like a vampire, I can safely say that that's one of the most creative and the single most disgusting part of this story I've read so far. I'm sorry to say it like this, but still, getting your vitality absorbed, your blood spat on your face, and feeling it run down your cheek? You've already created quite a nightmare with these Renegades, but it looks like you're just getting started. I'm impressed.
Now then, continuing in with the analysis. It looks like now we can see more of Rio's actual form, that being a second eye below her left eye, and obsidian colored skin. Not only that, it appears that I've seen another potential ability of Renegades: regeneration. Rio nearly regenerated all of the skin she lost when she briefly lost herself. Now that makes me wonder about Fenris. When he was first shown, as he was using his powers, his arm was described as dissolving into green goo. I said before that this could be a sign of him completely losing his humanity, but it could also be a sign of his true form as a Renegade. In that case, shouldn't he be able to regenerate skin he's lost? Maybe this ability doesn't belong to all Renegades, or maybe he has lost the ability to do so. Makes you wonder, doesn't it? Moving on, when I heard how you described Rio's speech as she recovered as having "dual voices", it made me wonder again. While Rio's 3rd eye was exposed, you said that it moved independently at times. What if the Renegade part of Rio isn't Rio at all, but a separate, feral personality? That may explain the violent outburst, the second voice, and the independent eye. It may also explain why a Renegade's Laws are beyond their control, and how their Influence may work and develop. It's amazing the kinds of possibilities we are seeing right now. I hope wholeheartedly that I will get to see them as I continue to read this story. Wish you well, keep up the good work, and until next time.

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Volume 1 Cover
Parable of the Renegades [BETA Version]
Chapter:21





Dec 24, 2017

To:Jio Kurenai

Quite a response we have here. First off, I realized how what Lucas was doing was real, and that actually makes it a whole lot worse. Next, thank you for describing more about Lucas's state during this argument and how it relates back to his state of mind earlier. That actually made me ask a big question: what if Lucas may actually feel frightened by not just Rio, but by himself as well? As we saw during the schoolyard fight, and as Lucas seemed to learn as well, his strength has, well, evolved beyond his notice. He managed to hold back 2 swords on a single arm. He himself didn't even know how that was possible. You already described how that can be attributed to natural causes, but that makes a guy wonder: just how much has life changed Lucas Thorne? And then, knowing that, Lucas may actually feel a bit scared, even just a tiny bit, about what may happen if he goes out of hand, strong as he is. He himself said, when he was talking with Rio in Chapter 18, he's unwilling to kill people because he's afraid that after a few kills, he may come to enjoy killing, just like Rio. That's something he'll have to watch out for. In the midst of defending himself from Rio, he'll have to be wary of actually turning into her.
Besides this, it's good to see that we're both making each other happy. It definitely shows that our words here are great supports for one another. Your writing fuels my imagination, my imagination fuels my comments, and my comments fuel your comments and your writing. It's a cycle, and a good one at that.
Thank you so much for this story, and happy holidays!

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Volume 1 Cover
Parable of the Renegades [BETA Version]
Chapter:20


Dec 24, 2017

This has been a major game-changer, all done in Lucas's attempts for a good night's sleep. When Lucas began to have this internal struggle with touching Rio's breasts, I immediately thought to myself, "This cannot be real." I had a few ideas about what that might've been:
1. Lucas actually managed to fall asleep and was having a nightmare. Him actually managing to touch Rio was just in his mind.
2. After Lucas did touch her, he began hallucinating the devils and angel, out of guilt and exhaustion.
3. This is actually evidence that Lucas could really be a Renegade, and seeing these other versions of himself could be part of one his abilities, or Laws.
4. The substance that gives Rio's hair its cinnamon scent is not something a kid should sniff. This one I realize is completely out the window, considering Rio's interactions with Lucas and Yakumo prior to this.
Speaking of Lucas, it seems that he's finally begun to decipher how he can deal with Rio. I thought it was going to end up like it would in a lot of popular anime: a guy accidentally touches a girl somewhere he shouldn't, and then the girl he touched beats him like he's some kind of demon, but Lucas stood up for himself. Granted, going on about how Rio became like a bully due to her life as a Renegade sounded a bit too harsh, and then him saying that he'd die before they become a couple REALLY went too far. Don't get me wrong, confidence is a good thing to have, but it shouldn't be used unwisely. Still, if Lucas wishes to survive, he'll have to become even more dangerous than Rio, since even she doesn't know everything about Renegades.
Anyway, this chapter was quite amazing, but now, I'll have to wait. Not to rush anything, just that this is a story I want to continue so much. All I can hope for is that when the next chapter is released, it'll be even greater than those I've read before, and I hope that it'll keeping you going, more strongly than before! Until next time!
P.S. I really enjoyed the scene with the angel. It was really cute, and it reminded me of what I imagine from time to time. That scene reminded me of this kind of anime where the heroes live alongside little creatures, which can result in some...hijinks from time to time. Also, it was the first time that the f-word (sorry for saying it like that) was used in this story. Quite a milestone, and a real surprise to see here.

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Volume 1 Cover
Parable of the Renegades [BETA Version]
Chapter:20