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Completely Revised Version Of SLATE GREY - the OELN series Coming End Of 2022. Feel Free To use finalanimosity@gmail.com For Further Information And A Free Preview-Chapter. Thank You For Your Patience, Comments & Support.
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Oct 31, 2016
Was readable. Concept *could* bcome interesting. Synopsis > the chapter. Some parts seemed not needed/too much detail. Crammed eviroment couldv been used smarter than the eat pray sleep way. Lets c what u have in store...
Oct 26, 2016
I, for one, know that, since we're all doing Light Novels, that you're aiming for a "less is more", minimalistic style. Me, too. But, you don't have to sacrifice sentence flow and description for that though. Imagine your scene and what images you need to get it across in words, but be concise and 'clever'. Keep moving strong.
Except for a light, polishing edit, your concept was worth the try. The end turned from a blood-thirsting beast to a too quick attempt at comedy, though... Keep going!
Oct 20, 2016
Appriciate your opinion on my work. New POV writing style of yours, you say? I must've mistakened it for 3rd person omniscient... Also kinda realized your influences (Yen Press, Tokyo Pop) from your usage of the concept of magic since that's the thing as of late... Still, I enjoyed your take
This was the kinda level of work I desired from this LN community. Appriciate your decision to do 3rd POV. You might see weird similarities 'tween us, too...