Nov 09, 2023
To:Bubbles
Hey there!
So firstly, I appreciate the criticism, what you said definitely makes sense.
Secondly, and I say this just to give some context as to how the story got to the point it did, when I finished the first draft I realized that it surpassed 2000 words. Since I hadn't been online for quite some time, I ended up only knowing about the contest last minute, and due to lack of time I reached the conclusion that it would be more efficient to erase things while mostly mainting the core events rather than do a complete rewrite. The original draft went a bit into the backstory of the hate between both families, some attempts at resolution by the main characters, extra dialogue and even the concepts of Thanatos and Eros.
The ending, while in fact similar to the original, is supposed to be a different "spin" on it. Unlike the original, both characters are actual humans, neither of them is the other's God of Death, the stars represent the girl's God of Death and it is also supposed to be a confrotation between two people with different desires. The protagonist, who wants to refuse to join the love of his life because he wishes to live - Eros, and the girl who wishes to die - Thanatos.
Now, due to this being an "abridged" version of the first draft, this is only somewhat implicit without actually ever being developed, making it mostly just a set up with an ending.
That being said, only what is published can be judged, and I'll obviously take the blame for any flaws it may have. 😅
Once again, thank you for your time and words. Have a nice day!
