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17 years old, Male. I love anything related to Tech and Anime.
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Apr 27, 2017
I have finally got time to apply all the stuff you guys suggested. Thanks! I hope it's a bit better now, I'll be in the process to brainstorm the next few chapters.
Nov 12, 2016
Thanks for the feedback, sorry for late replies. I was busy with school, I'll try to fix my mistakes as soon as possible and work on the next chapter. English isn't my main language, hope you guys understand :)
Oct 31, 2016
Hmm, my only comment is that it's fantastic and I can say there's a lot of dialogue :)
Great intro and hook! I wanna see how this story develops, keep it interesting!
Well, what I can say is that it's kinda interesting, but in my "opinion" the introduction or the hook wasn't that strong. Anyways, fantastic job though!