Jun 01, 2025
Lol. People are obedient until obedience becomes a rule.
The opening felt a bit confusing. The gap between “disturbing surrealist metaphor” and “random weird stuff” there is really small. At times, the horror satire doesn't land for me. I don't know if I should laugh or feel scared.
“Now stay put, you little bastard! We’re not doing all of this for fun, you know.”
That dialogue walks the fine line of “creepy hotel manager” and “angry janitor from Courage the Cowardly Dog.” It’s funny. Surreal like courage too.
I think the dialogue drags a bit. “You will be serviced.” “I didn’t order service.” “You will be serviced.” Again, it's funny but I hope the statement gets payoff in the next chapter. As to the meaning, that is. Though I suspect it's not anything good. 😂
You know how to write atmosphere. The sudden slide back into the room was described brilliantly. You gave the perfect image needed to visualize it.
