Mar 26, 2025
Thank you for giving it a try and making it this far, honestly.
Hmm. 70% is a tad bit much. I say 20%. As the author, I think I would know to a certain degree what is actually relevant to the story I'm planning on. 😅
What if I told you the only real “rambling” in the chapter is the bit about the pie, and the talk of the brothel.
And even then, I’d say they both help to flesh out Hiyori as a character and give snippets into her past life.
The bit about Burnwear is very relevant to the current Arc, it might not seem that way yet, but Burnwear appears again in just chapter 3 and by chapter 5 it would play a very important role to Hiyori's escape. The same thing for the scene about the Ward in octagon city.
The tortured man bit foreshadows something related to Hiyori's personal life. It doubles as a show of real consequences to faith switching. The rest are mostly questions that should naturally be running through her head in such a situation.
Stuff that looks like rambling might come back later in ways that aren’t obvious yet. That's called a foreshadowed setup.
"I don't mean rambling that becomes relevant 900 pages later" is a bit too early to say after just two chapters. 😅
That being said, I think what you're getting at isn’t so much that the content has no value—but more that the way I delivered it made it feel like too much to take in.
This brings us back to the issue of chapter 1. What I failed at was chapter formatting and being concise and clear, hence why it got tiring to read through. And the fault is all on me as the author to fix.
I respect the fact it's not your thing, every story has its audience and everyone has their taste.
The feedback is really helpful and would only help me improve, for that, thank you. It's something I'm still working on. And I really do appreciate the fact you even bothered give it a read in the first place. 🙇
