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First time writing! I hope you like what I do.
IG: @goh.hayah
What is an Achievement?
Apr 14, 2025
I'm already completely sold by the prologue, had to read it a couple of times since english isn't my native language but it made it more immersive
Apr 13, 2025
To:Himicchi
I'm part of the 'em dash' rebel force.
Yup, a lot of Nisio and Kohei Kadono
Apr 12, 2025
Love the natural dialogues! Is really g*ddamn hard to make characters talk in a believable way, and you pretty much nailed it.
I would suggest a couple of em dashes here and there, tho.
I like your setting and the pacing, i don't get 'staccato' vibes when reading, wich is not bad, I love breaking the pacing, but in your story the transitions flow really good.
To:Bubbles
I'll take it as a compliment, haha
To:kazesenken
After reading the chapter and your comment I get what you mean but on the other hand 'narrative jumps' or 'point a to point c' are something fresh. Take for example the Monogatari series or even Zaregoto (almost everything NisioisiN does) or Kohei Kadono's Boogiepop Phantom. Even Nagaru Tanigawa does it (to a lesser extent)
To:Orionless
In dark mode looks cool haha. On the other hand is my first time writing so I don't know exactly the 'literature 101' I just go with style over rules. I'll get the hand of it eventually
