Apr 27, 2025
You do a decent job setting the premise, the first few paragraphs hooked me in. It really reminded me of a time in my life when the only 'person' I could trust in my life was my pet rabbit, lol.
You're writing in third-person omniscient, using a narrator, which is a very bold choice. I'd look into writing third-person limited from your male mc-- that would help the reader with immersion. Your pacing is a bit all over the place as well, and you could do better by having smoother scene transitions and better imagery.
