Jul 25, 2025
I think the storyline is nice, but your writing is quite rushed. First of all, what u need to, when you introduce your MC, is to make it in detail but not too boring and long. It's interesting, but you need to make it more detailed. His expression, feeling, scene, etc. You need to make the readers feel what the mc through; the reader can feel his emotion, struggle, and more. Not only focused on him but other characters to make it live. The story is nice, just change your writing style also, I'm not a pro, but as a reader also, I can't enjoy your story. Don't give!
