Nov 16, 2025

I'm glad to see that the guy isn't dangerous! I'm chuckling at the idea of the Hello Kitty bandaids being "feline protection spells." I'd love to see how he conceptualizes something like antibiotics or even a modern hospital! Diane's reaction is absolutely relatable--I love the fact that you've balanced her inherent niceness with the ability to confront people, instead of just making her a people-pleaser. It's very realistic--poor Diane has been through some real stress, even for a nurse! Great chapter, and I'm looking forward to seeing if she does have magic!

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Nov 16, 2025

I really love how Diane, even when she's lost, confused, and grossed out, is still a professional. Even while afraid and lost, she's still helping out a stranger. It's something so ingrained in her. I wonder if that part of her personality led to her becoming a nurse or if she developed that part of her personality through her profession. Either way, it's a great character establishing moment, showing both her professional know-how and her desire to help, despite the danger Now I'm worried about the man she saved! I hope her good nature hasn't gotten her into trouble!

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Oct 25, 2025

So that answers the question that I asked in my last comment! How terrifying for poor Akiko. At least she was able to fight them off long enough to meet up with her friends so that they can all go together, even if is kind of sad that they're the ones who have to be responsible when her parents aren't! And having someone athletic on your side can only help! Great chapter!

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Oct 25, 2025

Ooh, this is interesting! I'm guessing that Akiko is the spirit of Akira? (And now that I'm writing it out, I see the similarities in their names!)

I can feel the darkness in the other world, with the comment about "saying the wrong thing and you and your family will be disappeared." They definitely need a hero! I wonder if Akiko has skills and buried memories from her time in that world? Great chapter!

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Oct 23, 2025

I wonder if Skott would have chosen to stay if he'd known how his life turned out in our world! But I guess the bloom would have come off the rose at some point and he'd be wishing to come back to Earth.

I definitely chuckled at the "like that Bethseda game" line. Though I'd probably be more concerned about wolves--my combat skills are quite low! Not to mention all the other things that can attack you...

Great second chapter!

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Oct 23, 2025

You did a good job of writing Auron as a terrible villain! In only one chapter, we see exactly why he's hated and cheer at his destruction. It's a great introduction--you didn't bog us down in unnecessary detail while giving us enough to root for the hero.

Skott of Omaha was a great touch--I can absolutely imagine one of his new friends asking him what land he's from and he's like "um, Omaha?"

Great first chapter!

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Oct 17, 2025

Poor Diane! She was so sweet, taking care of the wolf (and I never would have guessed that the guy in the last chapter was actually a wolf!) even without knowing who or what he was. And for her to be mugged in the alley as a result? She absolutely didn't deserve that. I hope that someone gets the chance to explain things to her soon--it's just terror after terror for poor Diane! You've done a good job of setting up the world that she's been taken from, and I'm looking forward to seeing more!

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Oct 17, 2025

So much tension in so few lines! You've raised the stakes immensely here with the idea that wherever they're searching has so little magic that every spell needs to count. The line with the rats made me chuckle--seems like the two worlds aren't so different! I'm looking forward to seeing who he's looking for and what happens when he finds them!

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Oct 17, 2025

Great start! I liked how it was poetic without rhyming--it gave the vibe of having been translated from another language.

I also really liked how the prophecy was given by the Ancients when they needed it, rather than making people interpret the timing of it. I look forward to reading the rest of this!

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Oct 03, 2025

I knew that something bad was going to happen when Akira mentioned that it was his last mission and when his second-in-command was replaced, but I never expected the second-in-command to be the one to betray him! I suppose that the Empire realized that Akira was growing a conscience (or maybe he always had one and the Empire finally had no use for it) and decided to get rid of him.

This is an intriguing start. I'm guessing (based on the title of the work) that Akira's other-world self is going to be avenging this death?

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