Jul 12, 2021
The "...I mean, I would never consider dating you, yet we met over a dating app" had me WEAK 😂
Jul 11, 2021
Ok, so far I'm very invested in the story, and I have to say that the way you handled the characters was very well done!! Honestly, the fact that each character has their own distinct personalities as well as having the protagonist be a flawed one while giving Jordan the voice of "reason" as well as expressing what the readers are feeling was great! I haven't read many light novels, but the way you write makes you clearly have an "image" of the characters and setting that few authors are able to do well enough in the first chapter. I don't know if you have experience as a writer beforehand, and if you do great for you, but I just want to say that'll I'm definitely hooked on this.
Jul 11, 2021
Hi! I really liked the first episode, and I feel that the premise, characters, and themes that you set up are really good! The only thing I feel you could improve on is give it one final round of editing to polish some edges. For example, when they are announcing the rules of the competition, the spokesman is says that "...But everything you do has to be made here. And you can't use something you've made before. You can't enter a game you've finished, and you can't use art or music you've made before..." If this was a choice regarding the personality of the character, then I'm sorry for pointing it out, but I feel that the character is reiterating the first sentence again and again but in other words. Nevertheless, I'm really digging the story and I can't wait for the next chapter!!