Jul 21, 2025
To:Bubbles
Thank you very much for the feedback! I actually have been going back to the beginning to fix things. I tend to try and get all my ideas out first before going back to polish things. Though, usually when I go back to read a second time, I get a better idea of what exactly I wrote, and how a reader might view all of it.
I am going back to previous chapters and trying to add more details or make the story flow better. Additionally, I am fixing grammar and spelling mistakes when I see them. I am aware that my tenses flip-flop from past and present, so I am trying to fix it to be more consistent.
Writing the action is definitely the tricky part. When it comes to writing that stuff, I take most inspiration from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and Talentless Nana. Both of them involve constant action and strategic thinking to get out of perilous situations. I usually try to think, "how would this scenario in my novel look like in those animes/mangas"?
Though I need to improve balancing fast-paced action vs dialog. I want to have the fast-paced action going, but also want to make sure the reader knows exactly what is happening in a scene. The inspirations mentioned above tend to have a narrative like that, so I try to think that way.
I also think of Jojo and Good Night Punpun whenever I have 3rd person narrations, and tell characters' inner thoughts when necessary.
I should try to figure out a better way to introduce Olga/Kitezh from the beginning. Other people have also pointed that out to me. I usually want to rush an introduction and the "training arcs" just to get to the main action people want. Though of course, it ends up creating a weaker connection between the reader and the character they are rooting for.
Though, I have intentions of making the story explain more about Olga/Kitezh as it progresses. Like, learning more about why she was sent to this fantasy world in the first place, and why she has these powers.
I appreciate hearing people's honest thoughts on my work and advice on how to improve! I hope to make it better, and hope you enjoy reading it!
