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Trying new things
Jul 17, 2021
Hey! I've checked out your story, and the plot is pretty good :D However, -you need to use more fullstops (".") instead of commas(","). Reading the first paragraph was quite a hard time since it was a whole sentence. -I think it would be better if you put dialogue on a different line than narration I'm interested in this, keep up the good work :) (hey if you dont mind pls check out my novel too lol)
