Aug 05, 2021
To:Kurara
Not sure if you got an answer yet, but there are small mistakes with tense, punctuation, and parts of speech. I tried getting detailed with one of your sentences near the end in case it can help you:
His voice is not exactly something good to hear,
- This is an independent clause in present tense. The phrasal adjective "something good to hear" sounds a little clumsy only because the reader can maybe feel a single adjective or simile flows better rhythmically. For example: "His voice is grating." or "His voice is like nails on a chalkboard."
but I am hating his silence much more;
- After the independent clause, this dependent clause uses the progressive tense, instead of present. If it were present it would be, "but I hate his silence much more."
mine was already the sufficient to handle.
- This is a dependent clause that clarifies the previous statement. Here, you mixed together two ways to say the same thing. It could say "mine was already sufficient" ("the" shouldn't be used since sufficient is an adjective). It could also say "mine was already enough to handle", and while "enough" and "sufficient" are synonyms in some cases, the role "enough" plays in the phrase "enough to handle" makes its meaning slightly different, which makes "sufficient" not a viable substitute anymore. We also just expect certain words in certain phrases. For example, a mother might shout "Enough!" to quiet her fussing child, but her shouting "Sufficient!" would feel very odd.
Overall, I can tell the thought you're expressing is somewhat complex and interesting, which is great! These little bits of syntax just cause friction for readers if they are consistent.
I'm going to keep reading, and hope to see you improving! :)
