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Sep 06, 2021
To:Cas_Cade
I am going to do some revisions and repost the story. I was a bit rushed with the contest deadline. I'm glad you were looking forward to it. Keep an eye out for the polished one. 🙂
Sep 04, 2021
You can do it! 😁👍
I feel like a lot of the stories I've read that involve video games in some way were written by someone who played Pong once. The way you portray time in this chapter, the setting with unreal aspects and Yang/****/Yin(?)'s motivations to just keep trying over and over through trial and error until they have mastered combat really left me with the impression that this chapter melds the mediums of gaming and traditional storytelling in a way I haven't experienced before. I'm excited to see where the story goes next! 🙂👍
Aug 31, 2021
Oh, I see now that there is no indication of Yang being a he/him. 😅
A cool start. I always love this type of setting where everything seems ordinary but a bit off, you've done a great job of creating an eerie vibe. Also love the back and forth Yang has with himself in bracket - italics format. A creative way to do that. Nice 😀👍
Aug 25, 2021
A cryptic last line... ☹️ Great chapter!
Hello, fellow Isekai Fantasy Adventure writer! This was great, you can write a character's thoughts and motivations well! I'm excited to see where it goes from here. 😁
A wild ride of a chapter 1, very cool! The kind of start that makes you want to read on. Great! 👍
Aug 22, 2021
This was a nice prologue. The setting of the shop reminded me a little of Whisper of the Heart and the idea of a train in the clouds connecting two worlds is pleasant while the last couple lines hint at darkness. Great!
