Not Wanting to Explore Doesn’t Mean You Won’t Search for It

Kaede was reading a book to pass the time and distract herself, but the moment the words entered her mind, they turned into meaningless fragments of letters, and she couldn’t understand a single sentence. Even so, this activity helped her stay calm.

She heard a loud knock on the door: twice in quick succession, followed by a brief pause, and then one more knock. It was one of Ren’s peculiar little habits. Putting the book aside, she dashed to the door so quickly that her foot slipped on the freshly cleaned floor, and she nearly fell.

Kaede opened the door in a panic. It was real. He was right there, alive and standing before her. Ren... her first and last love. The moment she saw him, she threw her arms around his neck. He hugged her back so tightly that her feet didn’t even touch the ground. She kissed his cheeks and neck, tears welling up in her eyes. All her fears evaporated like steam rising from water poured over hot coals.

“I heard you couldn’t go two days without seeing me,” Ren said with a smug yet endearing tone. Normally, Kaede would have pushed him away and denied it. But right now, she was so scared of never seeing him again that she couldn’t disagree.

“Are you not going to let me in? Or are you hiding someone inside?” he teased with a playful smirk. Letting go of him, she replied, “Idiot,” and ushered him inside.

“You must be tired. Come, sit down and catch your breath,” she said, guiding him to the couch.

“Are you hungry? Thirsty? What would you like me to do for you?” she continued.

“Only you, my lady,” he said, taking her hand and pulling her closer. She sat beside him on the couch. His breath softly brushed against her lips as he leaned in and kissed her. She wasn’t expecting it, so she blushed a little, but she went along with it. Everything else faded into the background until she couldn’t help but break the moment, pulling back slightly to ask:

“Was it you they were looking for? Why are they after you? I’ve done some research, and Neuraforma isn’t even a thing anymore. At least, that’s what the official documents say.”

Ren nodded absentmindedly, clearly not paying attention to her barrage of questions.

“You’re not listening to me, are you?” she said.

“No. Look, beautiful, there’s nothing worth panicking over. I just went somewhere. They were looking for a criminal, and since I lied and stole a small item from someone, they thought I had potential as a suspect. That’s why they took me in for scanning. Dr. Morgan handled the procedures. Afterward, they let me rest and even dropped me off in front of the house.”

“That’s all? Do you feel any different?” she asked.

He thought briefly before answering. “No. Everything feels pretty normal to me.”

“Then why were you so scared when the robots came?”

“Scared? I was just startled. I think your habit of dramatizing everything made it seem like fear. Don’t dwell on it too much.”

Kaede wasn’t convinced, but she wished she could be. She hoped it was as he said. They decided to have dinner together.

Kaede couldn’t control the urge to observe Ren’s every little detail. From the way he rubbed his hands before eating to how he walked, how he chewed, and which hand he used to pull out his chair, she noticed everything but saw no differences.

Just as she was beginning to relax, he said something that would never come out of his mouth.

“Chillax, clear the table!”

“Did you just give a command to the robot?” she asked, stunned.

He laughed. “Isn’t that what it’s for?”

She didn’t respond. He busied himself preparing snacks. Ren hated robots. It was the first thing she ever learned about him. She tried to reassure herself, thinking maybe he was just in an unusually relaxed mood. Yes, that had to be it.

Still, a gnawing unease was growing inside her. As they moved to watch a movie, she leaned on him and discreetly checked his pocket watch, which was always in his right pocket. It was still there. She wondered what else she could test and came up with an idea.

She told him she was craving chocolate and got up. As she walked to the kitchen, she silently pushed the wooden doorstop near the entrance forward. After grabbing the snacks, she closed the kitchen door behind her.

Honestly, she was scared. The last time she accidentally closed a door, it led to a massive argument. Ren had been so furious that he’d shaken with rage and broken many things in the house. Still, she had to take this risk.

Taking a deep breath, she calmed her heart and returned to sit beside him. She rested her head on his shoulder and stretched her legs out on the couch. She wished she had been overthinking things. She couldn’t follow the movie’s plot or keep up with Ren’s commentary.

“You don’t seem like yourself today,” he said.

“I’m just a little tired. And the chocolate made me thirsty. Could you get me some water?” she asked.

They often made such requests of each other. In fact, she always had Ren make her coffee because she enjoyed it more when he did.

Ren got up and walked to the kitchen door, which was closed. Without saying a word, he went inside, brought out a glass of water, and even closed the door behind him. At that moment, Kaede felt like her heart stopped. He had changed, and there was no doubt about it.

That night, after Ren fell asleep, Kaede wanted to get out of bed, but she hadn’t slept in two days and had been in a constant state of intense thought. Yes, something about Ren had changed, but he was still her Ren, and she would have time to figure out what was different.

The next day, she showed Ren their photo album, using the excuse, “I missed you so much, so I want to reminisce about our memories.” But, of course, he didn’t buy it. Knowing she was testing his memory, he recounted every tiny detail, down to the time, place, and smallest specifics, boasting about his sharp recollection.

There were no issues with their shared memories. So, she thought it must have something to do with the past before he met her. This thought initially comforted her, but her curiosity got the better of her. What could be in Ren’s past that would make the government’s robots forcibly take him and potentially perform Neuraforma on him?

That’s why, the following night, after Ren fell asleep, Kaede got out of bed. Their house had a personal room for each of them on the upper floor besides the bedroom. What she was about to do felt incredibly disrespectful, but she entered Ren’s study and began rummaging through his belongings. His desk was piled with papers.

As she examined the documents and papers, she found internal maps of certain buildings, research on various people and robots, and a lot of computer code. None of it made much sense to her.

The remaining items she looked through also didn’t provide any clarity. Even after checking for hidden compartments in the drawers, she found nothing that could explain this mystery.

Maybe she was looking too closely, she thought, stepping away from the desk and its shelves. That’s when she noticed it. The top shelf’s board looked slightly thicker than the others.

She quickly went over and pressed every inch of the board with her fingers. Nothing happened. Perhaps she was being overly paranoid. But no, something significant was happening, and there had to be something here.

After searching for nearly an hour longer, she found a small hidden compartment under the desk. Pressing a button there revealed a keypad for a four-digit code. The thicker shelf was just a decoy, but now the real mystery lay behind a wall panel in the corner of the room.

Thinking it might be a bit arrogant, she still tried her own birthdate first. It was incorrect. She had two tries left. Not wanting to waste them, she brainstormed. She somehow thought this password would be connected to the real Ren, to the Ren of the past.

What in his past could be significant enough to choose as a code? Then Kaede remembered his old pocket watch, which he never parted with. The clock was completely broken, and even the minute hand was snapped in half. Yet, whenever Ren wanted to know the time, he would look at it and say the time in his mind.

It had stopped around 4 or 5 o'clock, but since she couldn't remember exactly, she quietly looked at the clock on Ren's nightstand in the dark. It had stopped at 5:24 and 15 seconds. That's why she guessed the password might be 5243 or 5515. The second one didn't seem logical because it had too many fives.

Excitedly, Kaede entered ‘5243.’ It was correct. She must have overthought things because the thicker shelf turned out to be just a thick shelf, but the wall panel behind the corner cabinet slid open, revealing a hidden compartment. Inside was an old leather-bound journal. Opening the first page, she realized it was a diary.