Sugar vs broccoli

Going back in time to the start of the round, Iceland found themselves against Italy, which was ironic considering both teams were embroiled in cheating scandals.

"Hey, why we gotta play the cheaters!?" a man with a curly beard and broccoli-colored hair fumed.

"Because that's how the pairings worked. Mind you we will be keeping a close eye on this match at all times," an arbiter grumbled.

The man was Marco Malvolio, an Italian-American from New York who was currently representing Italy. He was better known by his streamer name, Jabrono Marco, and was infamous for being more on the raunchier side of things when it came to streaming.

Joining him were his teammates, Pistachio Ragu, a famous pizza chef from Pisa, who had taken up chess, Doge Medici, a famous football manager, famous for helping many clubs win Champions league as well as their home domestic leagues, and Dr. Arlecchino Zanni, the Desperado that had once served under Gyro and targeted the chess club with him a little over a month ago. The team's reserve member, Vincenzo DiLuigi, was also present, but wasn't playing due to getting too spooked by the Mongols to concentrate.

"I just can't deal with undead Mongols, they spook me too much," he grumbled as he paced around.

"You and me both... But I'm stuck playing since my teammate's still suspended. Why!?" Stressaður cried.

"Yuck, is your head made of broccoli? I hate broccoli," Ragnar cringed as he stared at Marco's hair.

"HEY! Broccoli's good for ya!" Marco shouted back.

"Sugar for me," Ragnar scowled as he chomped down on a sugar stick he had brought in with him.

"Bet that shit you just ate is loaded with engine lines."

"Arbiter approved, so suck it!"

"That's it! I'm kicking your ass! Doge, deal with the blue-haired insomniac. I'm taking this guy!"

"Dilly-Ding, Dilly-Dong, I'll take that stressed man down, and we'll sweep Iceland" Doge smiled.

"You think you're going to beat us!? We're number 1! We'll beat you all silly!" Ragnar declared.

But as the round began, Stressaður ended up losing in under 5 minutes to Doge, putting Iceland 0-1 in the hole.

As for the main event, Marco opened the game by moving his pawn to e4, while Ragnar moved his pawn to d5.

"What!? Scandinavian!? Now I can't play the Italian! You piece of shit!" Marco fumed in his mind as he captured the pawn at d5 with his e-pawn.

Ragnar moved his knight to f6, nervously hoping Pistachio would move his pawn to c4, and when he did, he nearly jumped out of his seat. "Yes! This is it! I read the cheat sheet on this, your finished now!" Ragnar thought as he moved his pawn to e6.

This was known as the Scandinavian Defense: Modern, Icelandic-Palme Gambit. It was an uncommon line, but a potentially advantageous one for Black, especially if White did anything but capture the pawn at e6, and that's exactly what happened as Marco moved his knight to f3, allowing Ragnar to capture the pawn at d5 with his e-pawn. Marco naturally captured said pawn with his c-pawn, but Ragnar captured said pawn with his knight, giving him control of the center of the board.

"You kidding me? That's bullshit!" Marco thought as he moved his knight to e5.

His anger only got worse when Ragnar moved his queen to e7.

"Two can play at that one!" he fumed in his mind as he moved his queen to e2.

But Ragnar saw a sneaky opening and moved his knight to b4. Better yet, Marco didn't seem to see it as he moved his pawn to d4, but he sure as hell did after Ragnar moved his bishop to f5.

"You long-chinned, squiggly stached FUCK!" Marco shouted in his mind as he slammed his fist down and moved his king to d1.

A mischievous smile spread across Ragnar's face as he moved his pawn to f6, but rather than move the knight, Marco countered by moving his pawn to a3, threatening Ragnar's knight. But Ragnar didn't care and captured the knight at e5 with his f-pawn, anyway, prompting Marco to capture the knight at b4 with his a-pawn. Now Ragnar could move his knight to c6, forking two pawns, but not for long as Marco angrily moved his pawn to d5, forcing Ragnar to move his knight.

"Now commentators, spectators, broccoli-haired man before me, here's a little lesson in deception!" Ragnar declared in his mind as he moved his knight to d4, once again angering Marco.

"Oh, OH! YOU WANNA GET DOWN N' DIRTY WITH ME, PUNK!? WELL FUCK YOU!" he thought, barely able to keep said thoughts in his mind as he slammed his pawn down on d6.

But his rage had gotten the better of him, as now Ragnar could capture the pawn at d6 with his queen, free of charge. Something Marco only realized after the fact.

"Oh fuck... I fucked up... I'm fucked... Nah, it's just a pawn," he thought as he moved his queen to d2.

Ragnar was having a blast though, and gleefully moved his rook to d8, forming a battering ram. Marco, now beginning to get a bit worried, countered by moving his pawn to g4, attacking the bishop, but also failing to realize Ragnar could just take said pawn with his bishop, which he did.

"Check! Ahaha, not so tough now, Mr. Broccoli. My sugar powered high will win the day!"

"Like hell I'm losing to you, ya sugar powered freak!" Marco shouted aloud as he moved his bishop to e2.

"Uh oh, arbiter! He just talked! Check!" Ragnar mockingly called out as he captured the bishop at e2 with his bishop.

Not wanting to lose his queen, Marco moved his king to e1, inviting queen to c6 from Ragnar which was a whole bundle of problems. "Ugh, he's gonna check me with knight c3, I take the bishop, he takes my queen. Well- ... ...! Little SHIT!" Marco fumed as he moved his rook to g1.

"Ah, you noticed the mate trap... How about another one!?" Ragnar laughed in his mind as he captured the pawn at b4 with his bishop.

"And I say NO!" Marco thought as he slammed his knight down on c3.

Ragnar cringed in disgust at the move, shaking his head as he moved his bishop to c4, confusing Marco more so with his move than his facial expressions, resulting in him moving his king to d1. And at that moment, Ragnar's face changed from cringe to malicious glee.

"You see this, arbiters!? I won! I won! CHECK!" he shouted as he moved his queen to f3.

"The hell's he talking about!? It's only check," Marco thought as he moved his king to e1.

And after Ragnar captured the knight at c3 with his bishop, Marco got even more confused as he captured said bishop with his b-pawn. "What's he doing? Well the more he trades off, the better for me."

"CHECK! Sugar is about to win over broccoli," Ragnar taunted as he moved his queen to e4, eliciting a middle finger salute from Marco as he moved his king to d1.

He was starting to get worried, but a tinge of hope overtook him as Ragnar moved his bishop to e2.

"Check!"

"Yeah, yeah!" Marco grumbled aloud as he moved his king to e1. "This is bad, but he moves the bishop, I think it's perpetual check," he thought.

But it was no such thing, it was checkmate.

"Checkmate! Nah-nah-nah-nah-NAH!" Ragnar snickered as he moved his knight to f3, winning the game.

Marco immediately put his hand over his face. "I forgot about the knight... FUCK!"

And with that win, Iceland would rally to win the whole match 3-1. It was naturally subjected to lots of scrutiny due to the player's tendencies to cheat, but the matches were all deemed fair, thus the result stood.

...

"And that's how I led Iceland to a 3-1 victory!" Ragnar proudly huffed.

"Well that was nice, now get lost, I wanna tell my story," Xiu glared.

Mimoko meanwhile was both angered at the fact Xiu was still smushing her face between her feet, and confused as to why Ragnar was even here, but a part of her was happy he was so eager to share his game with others.

"That's how Chess should be, fun for all. Alright, you may share your game now, but get your feet off me!" Mimoko growled as she rolled her eyes back towards Xiu.

"Too bad, you get a story and foot massage. But I guess we'll go back to bare feet for this one," Xiu snickered as she slipped her feet out of her sneakers and smushed them back into Mimoko's face before she could get away. "Now, where was I? Ah yes, the start of the round when we were up against Lithuania..."

The full game:

White: Marco Malvolio (2600) Black: Ragnar Fúinn (2576)

1. e4 d5

2. exd5 Nf6

3. c4 e6

4. Nf3 exd5

5. cxd5 Nxd5

6. Ne5 Qe7

7. Qe2 Nb4

8. d4 Bf5

9. Kd1 f6

10. a3 fxe5

11. axb4 Nc6

12. d5 Nd4

13. d6 Qxd6

14. Qd2 Rd8

15. g4 Bxg4+

16. Be2 Bxe2+

17. Ke1 Qc6

18. Rg1 Bxb4

19. Nc3 Bc4

20. Kd1 Qf3+

21. Ke1 Bxc3

22. bxc3 Qe4+

23. Kd1 Be2+

24. Ke1 Nf3#

Match score:

Iceland: 3 Italy: 1

Iceland wins 3-1