Vol 1. Youth

Youth is often characterized by the number of friendships one has cultivated. Society seemed to equate the essence of youth with the size of one’s social circle, as though the quantity of friends directly determined one’s happiness and fulfillment. But why do people assume having more friends translates to having more joy? Why is the quality of youth so frequently tied to the quantity of friendships?

If we accept this premise, having no friends would imply leading a monotonous and uneventful life. But is this notion inherently true? Should it be? For the sake of discussion, let’s assume it is. This raises a critical question: what defines a friend?

Is a friend the person who consistently engages in conversation with you? Is it someone physically present in your life? Is it the person who treats you kindly? Or perhaps it’s the individual who is unafraid to call out your mistakes? Maybe true friendship encompasses all these qualities. However, by this definition, I must confess—I have yet to encounter a single person in my life who meets these criteria.

Repeatedly, I have felt exploited. People take what they need from me and discard me when I am useless. This pattern has occurred so frequently that I have ceased to expect anything different. Over time, the prospect of being alone has lost its sting. It has simply become a part of my existence.

So, according to societal standards, does this mean my life lacks excitement and purpose? Perhaps. Yet, I would argue that this entire construct of youth and friendship is an illusion. It is a socially constructed ideal that people cling to, deceiving themselves into believing they are happier, more fulfilled, and more connected than they genuinely are. To me, those who subscribe to this illusion may appear genuine, but they seem superficial.

And frankly, I no longer care. I have reached a point where I want to live on my terms. If that entails having no friends, so be it. I would much rather embrace solitude than pursue relationships that leave me feeling hollow. At the very least, this path allows me to remain authentic to myself.