Chapter 1:


Do I need therapy?

Another day in the office, it was the end of a quiet Sunday. My patients are generally good people, none of them have caused me much trouble in my relatively short career as a psychologist. Today is perfect, after taking care of my last patient of the day I will return home and drink that bottle of alcohol that I bought at the supermarket with the special discount of my membership. And I'll also watch that new seasonal anime that everyone is talking about on the internet.

— Miss Salma, the 6 p.m. patient has not arrived yet. Do you want me to call him to confirm his attendance?

— Sure Paulina, please do it.

Paulina is a great secretary, the time she missed work for the birth of her first child was a real hell for me. I should value this little and beautiful little secretary of mine even more.

— Miss Salma, I have already confirmed the attendance of the patient, but he said that it will take a while due to the traffic.

— Tch, who is the patient I must wait for?

— It's a new one, his name is Sebastián White.

— Well, I have no choice but to wait for him. Paulina, you should go now, now you have a baby and is waiting for you at home

— No miss, please don't worry. My husband is taking care of she, and I can't leave you alone…

— Do you think I'm stupid? I was alone the whole time you left due the birth of your baby

— Yes, and you left the office open all night and the next day someone came in to steal all the money from the office.

— Well, that is the fault of this damn country that does not offer enought security to its citizens.

— You also left all the electronic devices on, and we had to pay triple on the electricity bill.

— That is also the fault of the government, it is incredible how absurdly expensive basic services are

— And we must not forget that you also brought one of your lovers to the office and the next day the patients could see you nak ...

— Well, well, well there is no reason to remember the past so much. Besides, I have already learned from my mistakes.

— Ok, I will trust you Miss Salma, thank you very much for worrying about me and my daughter. Please, if you need help with something, do not hesitate to call me

— You don't have to worry, I'll be fine. Please go now.

— See you tomorrow miss!

I cannot believe that in the eyes of my secretary I am a careless little girl who needs her mother to do everything for her, I really have to improve my image. Anyway, now I have to wait for that last patient to arrive so that I can enjoy my Sunday night.

— …

— That idiot! Half an hour has passed and he still hasn't arrived. He can go to hell!

I'll just close the office door and go home.

— Hello, good afternoon

Who is this guy? Is he my 6 p.m. patient? Or some thug determined to take advantage of this attractive young psychologist? Anyway, I must be careful

— Sorry, it's too late and I'm going to close the office.

— Oh excuse me, I have been waiting for 20 minutes outside at the reception. I thought there was no one here until I heard someone yelling from the office.

I'm really so stupid. I should have waited for him at the reception and not in the office. Now I can't refuse him.

— Hahaha sorry ~. There was a creepy bug inside, and I had to exterminate it before receiving any patients

— Oh, it's fine. Do not worry. Anyway, I have enough time.

— Well, is it okay if we start? It is important to take advantage of this one-hour session to establish the bases of the therapy.

— Actually, I planned to come here only once

Once? What the hell does this idiot think, does he think that with one hour session I will solve his problems? Not even Sigmund Freud can do that…

— I'm sorry, but I can't guarantee to help you too much with just one session. Therapy is a complex issue where it is important ...

— Oh, I know. I don't expect you to be of great help. I only came to this session because I had already paid your secretary before.

Huh…? What the hell? What kind of person is he? Why does he waste his money in this way? I mean, it's not that my fee is very high, but I don't charge cheap. But hey ... I think that takes pressure off me and that's better.

— Well then we can start at once. Tell me, there must be a reason you decided you needed therapy

— Yes, that's right.

— Perfect, let's start there. What was the reason that made you come here?

— Problems with women…

God, I want to punch him in the face so hard. You have to be a complete insolent to mention "Problems with women" and remain so stoic. Surely he comes to chatter about his lovers.

Now that I see him up close, he's a little handsome. He has short black hair that looks very neat. A body with a musculature that, without going to the extreme, speaks that it takes good care of it. I can even say that half-dead look seems attractive to me, but that is a fetish of mine.

— I need you to be more specific, what do you mean with problems with women?

— I mean, I'm sick of women already. One after another they have done nothing but destroy my life in different ways, I want to run away from all of them.

Wow, that was a very interesting plot twist. That happens to me for jumping to conclusions

— Ok, we take this as a starting point. Do you think you have done something to deserve so much hatred from those women who hurt you?

— No ... well, maybe ... I'm not really sure.

All right, this case can be really interesting! Since he's told me he doesn't expect much of me, I can take this a little less seriously.

— Okay, so it seems right to me to start from scratch. Do you remember the first woman who hurt you?

— Sure, the first woman who hurt me was my mother.

Damn, this guy… It really seems like this is an interesting case. It has been a long time since I was so interested in a history of one of my patients, generally those who come to see me are very boring.

— Tell me about your mother, do you have a bad relationship with her? What was it that caused you so much harm?

— Actually, I don't have any problem with her. I love her very much.

— Huh? Wait, so why did you say he hurt you?

— You asked about the first woman who ever hurt me. My mother died when she gave birth to me. She undoubtedly left me a wound in my heart

— Oh I'm very sorry…

— Don't worry, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't prepared for painful questions.

— Well, then is it okay if we talk about that? I need to know the main reason for your problema

— I have no problem, although I would have to start from my childhood and that can be a bit boring

— I don't know if you haven't noticed yet, but you're in therapy. My job is to listen carefully to you, even if it's boring.

— Certainly…

— So, let’s start please. Tell me about your childhood ...

My Childhood

My birth was a disgrace. Obviously I don't remember, but being born caused my mother's death. She suffered a pulmonary embolism after delivery, which caused her death almost instantly.

My father, Joseph, felt the loss of his beloved more than anyone. I vaguely remember that when I was a child between 5-6 years old he cried inconsolably in his room with a bottle of alcohol. I'm not saying he was a bad father, it just took him a long time to assimilate the loss of the love of his life.

To date, my dad has not found a formal partner. Sure, he has had a girlfriend or two, he even introduced me to a couple of them. But I don't think he has ever lasted long enough with someone, at least to get the idea of ​​a possible wedding, or even a little brother or sister.

Going back to my childhood, the truth is that I don't have great memories of that time. I can't find a particularly happy moment that moves my heart in the present. I have always had financial difficulties, my father has always worked too hard, so on rare occasions we had a “Father-son” moment that motivated me to be better.

We were not totally poor, but it was a reality that my economic conditions were not the best. Even when I realized this at an early age, I insisted to my father that he let me help him, I could have gotten a job in any supermarket, but he always refused.

His pride as a father, and his fear that something bad will happen to me made him reject me every time. So his only request was for me to concentrate on my studies, and that's what I did.

The truth is that school for me was something simple. All you have to do to get good grades is pay attention to classes, review at home what you have not fully understood, and occasionally study for exams.

For an anti-social person like me, that was a piece of cake. I always ranked first in every school year. I received many awards of all kinds and my teachers always used me as an example to follow. Sure, that seems to be a good thing, but it was actually caused me a lot of trouble.

People are idiots, and they are always envious of the one who is on top of something. Whether in studies, sports, society, etc., the humans by nature will be envious of those who "are above".

When you are a child, that envy can turn into bullying. Fortunately, I can say that I did not suffer from severe bullying. Sometimes my classmates hid my backpack, my notebooks, they excluded me at school events ... I think that all that nonsense never affected me enough.

In my free time, during recesses or even after school, I was in the library all the time. There were many reasons for that; the first was, obviously, that I had no friends to hang out with, so being in the library helped me from socializing with my peers. The second is that, compared to my home, the library was not such a hideous place.

I'm not saying my home was so horrendous — well, maybe a little small and dirty — but whenever I came home I was alone. My father always left work until the night, so I was always left alone. It was so sad to be home, I used to turn on the television without caring what was on the air, all I wanted was to hear a little noise. I usually did this to make it look like someone was with me.

The loneliness of my home pushed me to spend my days in the library. This is how the days went during my entire stay in elementary and middle school.

When I entered high school, nothing changed at first. The first day, I took the seat at the back of the classroom as always, thank God at least I have always had a good sight that allows me to see the blackboard clearly.

The seat in front of me was unoccupied. That was strange. I mean, I didn't think my situation as a "loner" would change, but this was another level. That empty seat in front of me was going to be occupied by her, the first woman who voluntarily decided to hurt me.

Even mentioning his name today gives me a bit of chills, and it is that remembering what that presence means in my life ... it is indescribable, it is something I want to forget. I just wish I had never let her enter my heart. I will always curse you, Isabella.

Joe Gold
Syed Al Wasee