Bitter Memories (Part 2)

“What’s that, Az?” Mari asked, tugging on his sleeve and staring at the fresh fruit piled up at one of the stalls. “Hmm?” Azreal turned away from the odds and ends he was contemplating to look.

“The big yellow-orange ball...things. The mutant giant oranges.”

Azreal bit his lip to hide his grin. “Those would be grapefruit.” 

“What’s that? Does it taste like an orange?”

Azreal let out a surprised laugh. "You never saw one before?” Mari shook her head.

 "They’re grown on tropical continents and then shipped here. They aren’t wild. I like to spend time with humans but most of my visits to human villages were short. I never stayed overnight, let alone for an extended time. So no, I’ve never seen a-a- grapefruit?” Azreal nodded in confirmation. "A grapefruit. I never had the chance to see a lot of human things, even if  I've heard of them. I may have more historical knowledge of humanity because unicorns are so long lived, but that doesn't mean I know all the particulars of existence or have experienced things firsthand."

Azreal noticed the longing look Mari was casting at the fruit. Of course, food was what caught her attention! But he couldn’t help feeling sad for her. He’d assumed that she’d had to have lived a life full of amazing experiences because was so long lived, but instead it had seemingly been boring and monotonous, dominated by the primal drive for self-preservation. She had to stifle her desire to explore and met other beings because of the expectations of her people and, even when she was free to do whatever she wanted, she struggled to even do what she truly wanted because of her ingrained survival instincts and taught fear. She hadn’t experienced things like coffee, citrus, or village festivals. Mari craved good food, new experiences, and the company of others but had been kept from those things. He’d never even considered that something as simple as free access to tropical fruits wasn’t a universal experience for other species and races on the same continent. It was unfair; he took all the people and activity around him for granted and complained, yet someone who just wanted to be loved and happy had been left to wander around, lonely and bored, for centuries...

“I’ll take one of the grapefruits, please” Azreal said to the old woman behind the counter.

“Az! You don’t have to do that!” Mari protested.

“But I want to. And you’re curious, right?” Azreal said as he counted out the coins. “It’s not a big deal. It is weird though. I’ve never gone shopping for fun like this before. Normally I just grab what I need and get away from the crowds as soon as possible. I honestly don’t think this is too bad. It might be nice... occasionally, anyway.”

It was a strange feeling. Maybe having someone so curious and energetic helped the experience not be as scary? Or all he needed was to just not go out alone? ‘Maybe it’s those things, but there’s something special about Mari herself. I don’t know what it is specifically, but I enjoy being with her and, even if she can be loud and annoying, it seems like her presence has helped me relax a bit. I don’t know why that would be though? Yes, she’s beautiful, amusing and full of stories, but why is she such an exception to how I normally feel around people? Is it just her being inhuman? Or is it who she is as a person? Am I just weird and overthinking things? I don’t think I am. I mean,, in just a few weeks, she’s already got me doing stuff that would have given me anxiety before. Being friends with Mari specifically is definitely changing me...’

Mari noticed Azreal lapse into sudden silence and looked at him in worry. “Did I do something insensitive again? Are you okay? We got what we needed so we can go home if you’re stressed. Or you can go back and I’ll look after Sori, if you’d prefer that?”

Azreal jolted out of his deep reflection. “Oh, I’m fine! Just being a thinky person again.” That elicited a giggle from her. “I’ll be tired tonight but I’m doing fine. Shockingly, I’m enjoying this, so you should just focus on having fun yourself. I really am good and I'm not just saying that" He added as she looked at him skeptically. "It’s not insensitive to enjoy the things you like in the presence of someone with different preferences."

She lit up and grinned “Okay Az!”

Azreal held up the grapefruit. “Should we try it?”

Mari’s eyes sparkled like stars. “Can I really?”

“Well, obviously! I bought it so you could try it.” Azreal pulled out one of his knives to slice the fruit. “Just a warning, though. They are good, but a bit of an acquired taste and it will probably taste gross at first. They're a citrus fruit like oranges, but they are both sweet and bitter. I don’t know to explain it, but it’s an interesting combination. It’s a completely different taste from the sourness of lemons. Here." He held out a slice of the fleshy pink fruit to Mari, who eagerly snatched it. She looked at it closely and sniffed it, wrinkling her nose.

“It smells like chemicals!” She whined.

Azreal couldn’t help but laugh. “Your senses really are something!” He bit his lip, not wanting to laugh as hard as he truly wanted too because it would be mean. “But you thought coffee smelled like dirt and it turned out to be your favorite human food ever. Give it a chance.” Mari pouted at the fruit for a moment before taking the tiniest possible bite. Her eyes went wide, and she paused before shoving the whole thing in her mouth. Azreal finally let out the deep belly-laugh he was holding in at the sight of the bizarre faces she made from the taste.

“Is it bitter enough for you?” He cackled, clutching his stomach. “Oh my God, you look like you just ate a pound of raw lemons!” He wiped the tears that were streaming down his face from his hysterics. “Sorry I’m acting like Sori, but it’s just so funny!” He gasped as his abdomen throbbed in pain. ‘I’ve never laughed like this before. When was the last time I laughed for real, anyway? No matter. It feels good; like all the tension in my body was just released.’

Mari’s face twitched as it reverted to normal. “Yeah, maybe I should have slowly eaten it and acclimated to the bitterness before shoving it all in my face, but it was good! It tasted really sweet and savory...until the bitter kicked in.” She winced and licked her gums. “I’d try it again though! It wasn’t bad. It was juicy and, honestly, the weird bitter taste and the sensation it gives my face is kinda fun.”

Azreal coughed and wiped his eyes one last time. “I’m glad the experience paid off. It is an acquired taste but, once you get used to it, it tastes sweet, and the bitterness is just an aftertaste.” He cut a slice of grapefruit for himself and began chewing it slowly, hoping it would calm him down.

Mari flashed him a toothy grin. “Oh, it more than paid off! I’ve never seen you laugh or smile like that before.” Azreal paused mid-chew. “Oh, it’s not like you’re scary or emotionless or anything!” Mari reassured. “It’s just...I don’t think I’ve even seen you look like you were truly happy from the bottom of your soul. You know, happy in natural and spontaneous way. You have a kind smile but...this is the first time it actually looked to me like you were enjoying yourself.”

Azreal looked at her in surprise. ‘Happy from the bottom of my soul...when was the last time I felt like that? Have I ever felt that? I feel happy around Nanny and Sori. I’ve experienced all sorts of blessings in my life that I don’t deserve but...I don’t think I’ve ever felt like that.’ A different kind of laughter was the only kind he’d known for so long...his scalp began to tingle and Azreal gritted his teeth as he thought of the scars behind his ears. ‘No! No, we’re not going to think about that! I don’t want to remember that! I don’t need to remember that. This isn’t like back then and Mari and my family aren’t like the mercenaries at all! I’m not going to let those damn memories run my life.’

“Ah, I haven’t actually eaten one of these in a while! The bitterness got to me, too!” He said cheerfully, coving up what had actually caused his visible wince.

‘I’m not going to think about the past. I haven’t thought about anything scary or sad all day for once, and I like it like that I want to have fun with Mari and Sori. No one has ever told me I have a kind smile or wanted to see me laugh before. I want to be the person I am when I’m actually enjoying myself...not the person whose mind is stuck back in the past. God...please, even if it’s just for today...let me be able to move beyond those memories and forget them for a little bit.’

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“Yeah!” Sori screamed gleefully as Mari and Azreal swung him off the ground by his arms. “I can fllyyyy!”

Azreal snickered. “Good thing Mari has supernatural strength. You’re starting to get too big for this sort of thing, Sori. You’re going to break my bones soon.” Sori laughed and squeezed his sibling's hands as his feet touched back onto the ground.

“Yeah right! Even when I’m sixty, you’re still going to be able to carry me on your shoulders, big brother! You’re strong! I’m not gonna be able to hurt you unless you get weak!” He looked over at Mari. “Big brother is so boring.” He complained. “He’s super strong but he’ll never show off his fighting skills or strength for me the way you do! All he ever does is go sit outside and stare at nothing or read like a little old lady.”

“Hey! I’m not boring!” Azreal said with a tone of offense. “My strength is for a purpose. I’m not going to fight if I don’t have a reason to, and being able to kill tons of people isn’t exactly something to take pride in. At least I actually use the brain in my head and am capable of sitting in silence for more than three seconds, unlike a certain little brat...”

Mari laughed. ‘This really was a perfect day!’ The sun was just starting to set as the three made their way home. ‘It’s beautiful out, I got to eat yummy food and see new things, Sori had fun...and I got to see what Azreal looks like when he’s happy for real!’ She squeezed Sori’s hand tighter and watched as he and his brother bantered playfully. ‘I’m glad...Azreal deserves to be happy as much as anyone. I don’t want him to always been so serious and emotionally closed off. Maybe I don’t need to overthink it. If I'm with him and I’m being myself, maybe that’s enough. Maybe I don’t need to try so hard to make him happy. But still, though, I wish he could be this relaxed more often.’ Mari reflect, not a single concern in her mind as they approached their house.

Suddenly, Azreal froze. “Az?” Mari asked in confusion. He looked like he’d seen death itself. “Hey, Az, you okay?” Mari nudged his ankle with her foot and then followed his gaze when he didn’t respond.

Up ahead, on the opposite side of the street and four houses before theirs, a man in dark clothes was leaning on the wall outside of a tavern. Mari had never seen him before, but her skin instantly prickled. ‘This guy is dangerous! He’s not a threat to us, but he’s definitely not a great guy.’ It was that familiar nauseous feeling when she met humans who were bad and/or unpleasant. Not outright evil or the worst by any means but still leaning more on the negative side of the morality scale. She took in the man’s dark clothes, intimidating demeanor, and blank face. ‘Something about his aura reminds me of Azreal...is this one of his mercenary friends?’

Azreal let go of his brother’s hand. “Hey, Mari, take Sori and go on ahead. You two can get dinner started. I need to talk to someone real quick and then I’ll come help you, okay?” He spoke in a tone that was calm, but Mari could sense the anxiety and fear that was bubbling underneath. He was scared of this person. Not that he'd do something to him in this moment, but he'd clearly been the part of something unpleasant in the past that Azreal didn't want to remember.

‘And just like that he’s back to how he normally is. But he looks...more vulnerable somehow.’ Mari studied Azreal’s face. “Hey, are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting weird, Az.” Azreal’s gaze never left the man.

“No, I’m fine. Just need to take care of something.” He turned to her. “Please trust me, Mari.” He gave her a small smile. Mari nodded and took the bag of groceries from him and added it to the one she was already carrying.

She gently tugged Sori’s hand. “You heard your brother! Let’s go! I’m going to need your help because I still have no idea where anything is in the kitchen.”

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Azreal waited for Mari and Sori disappear into the house before he turned and briskly walked over to the man who was waiting for him.

“Scath.” The man gave Azreal a wicked grin in response.

“You're finally showing your true colors with all that religious shit you’re always spewin’. Knew there was no way you actually could be serious about it. But man,” Scath let out a piercing laugh. “How in the hell did you get someone like that?” He licked his lips. “I’m amazed you could find any woman willing to fuc-”

“Stop!” Azreal’s face turned bright red and he snarled at the other man.

‘I hate you I hate you I hate you! Whenever I see any of you I feel physically ill! I should have known better that to think I of all people could be allowed to be happy...’

He ground his teeth. “Don’t you dare talk about women like that, but especially her! She's an innocent person and you don’t know anything about her! Your mind is so vile and in the gutter that it turned into pond scum ages ago, so of course you can't think worth a crap."

Scath mockingly held his hands up. “Oi, feisty today, are we? Is the runt finally learning to talk back?”

Azreal sighed in frustration. 'Why now of all times? I just want to go home and make dinner with Mari and Sori. I just want to be with the people I love and to be left alone.' “Enough. You have a message, right? Just tell me what’s next and get out of my town.” Azreal could already see passersby and tavern-goers looking at them in concern. His coworker radiated malice even in his most passive moments, and he didn’t want Scath anywhere near any innocents, let alone people he knew.

Scath smirked. “We got orders. Some new targets to take out. Four days from now.”

The bitter taste of grapefruit left behind in Azreal’s mouth turned as acidic as basilisk venom