Chapter 7:

Nobody REALLY smiles.

...mY happiness...


The days are as hazy as the blue screens and the frantic characters dancing within them. The sky an unsightly blur, the people around me, morbid figures, crawling….drooling breathing sleeping…. The world, bit by bit, is becoming more and more unsightly. I can’t stand the brightness of the day so within the same week I quit work and stopped going to school, deciding to myself I would never return. I stay in my apartment alone engulfed in the darkness.Bookmark here

I sit in the corner like the days in that room. I sit in the corner staring to the slits of moonlight growing thicker then thinning. My legs are pressed to my chest as my arms wrap around them, my knees serve as a sort of pillow. Everything in my room is gone, I look around a bit wondering what had happened since then, but all I can recall is falling...falling...falling.Bookmark here

Days.Bookmark here

Weeks.Bookmark here

Pass.Bookmark here

Outside of the room I hear shuffling but am too preoccupied with the weight of what feels like the world. Staring, over and over into the same spot between my feet, I rock. The door rattles softly then slowly opens, I can smell her perfume. Alluring. Sweet. Safe? My neck and torso follow as my eyes look to where she is. In the doorway Lilac stands looking down to me, I see her lips forming a tight-lipped grin as she covers her nose. The bottom half of her face shows me what I’ve been waiting for.Bookmark here

A smile. When I need it most.Bookmark here

The top of her face shows horrid disgust. An unsightly being presented before her. Hatred clouds her eyes. Hatred. Bookmark here

I can’t resist her beauty, that smile, all of her. I love her. I love her. I love her. My dry and lifeless eyes stare to the beauty of my world. The beauty of my world stares to my eyes. Bookmark here

Blood begins to trickle from my eyes, it feels warm. Warm like no tear I’ve known before. Freeing. Everlasting. Soothing. Th-thank…Bookmark here

She slams the door shut, from behind it I hear the quick patter of shoes. Clatters. Thuds. My front door slamming.Bookmark here

Oh.Bookmark here

She’s gone.Bookmark here

The pitterBookmark here

Blood.Bookmark here

Drips.Bookmark here

From my eyes.Bookmark here

Slamming like thunder against the cracked planks.Bookmark here

Alone.Bookmark here

No.Bookmark here

World.Bookmark here

Why?Bookmark here

Why? World?Bookmark here

What is my world? What is the world? Who is the world? Where is the fucking world? Why? whYwhYwhYwhYwhYwhYwhYwhYwhYwhYwhYwhYwhYwhYwhYwhYwhYwhYwhY?Bookmark here

I look to the cracked planks now drenched in my Blood. The blood pools, but like the slits of moonlight the pool of blood grows thicker then thins. Eloquent beauty.Bookmark here

Beauty?Bookmark here

I…Bookmark here

...hateBookmark here

...this fucking world.Bookmark here

Before I know it, my fist is through the drenched planks. I can feel it slightly throbbing. The pain fades quickly. My hand returns to my side. I no longer see the blood or the filthy planks. My eyes shift once more to the doorway. Nothing there. Nothing. Nobody is coming to care or help me ever again. I feel a burn from my left collarbone to my inner thigh. Bookmark here

Used.Bookmark here

For pleasure. Hate.Bookmark here

The world.Bookmark here

I rise slowly and make my way to the bathroom. I let the water run on me as I replay that visage. Half of her face showed me the world I desired, the other half ready to throw me away. Bookmark here

That tight-lipped grin.Bookmark here

The hatred and disgust in their eyes...as they stole...mY Happiness…Bookmark here

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