Eligibility checklist

"Hey, hey! To all you just tuning in, we've got breaking news hot off the press! Trillionaire and natural beauty, Smoothie Q. Mifsud, has just gone full peak femininity and shaved her head BALD! That's not all, because she's founding a new bald-only chess league and will be funding a bughouse tournament that will be taking place..."

"Tonight at 5!" Mifsud smiled.

"That's right, this is the secret 6B tournament the WWCF apparently set aside a second rest day for. The Bs stand for Bald Bad Bitch Bondage Bullet Bughouse, meaning this is a bullet time control bughouse tournament-"

"One minute, one second increment to be precise."

"And that it's only open to women that embrace the no-hair look," Kisha stated as she gestured over to Mifsud.

"That's right, though we'll only be judging on exposed skin for this one, so no need to worry about a pussy wax, though I'd naturally recommend it if your pussy isn't already smooth," Mifsud giggled.

"Well someone's putting her preferences out there."

"I swing both ways, Kisha."

"More power to ya then. Anyway, we probably should give the spiel about the rules."

"That we shall. First off, the tournament is open only to the top 64 teams in the women's tournament. If your team wishes to participate, they must send two of it's members to the hotel salon, where if they are not already bald to standard, will be quickly shaved to it."

"Yeah, I got some word that Maestro Himitsu, who we now know was Daria Inashiki, along with her daughter and rising star, Mimoko Inoue are being shaved bald as we speak, meaning they're likely going to be the team to beat... We got footage yet?"

"Oh, ever eager for the scoop. Rest assured, cameras are running in the salon, but there will be a delay in broadcast. Though with news of such a strong team participating, I imagine many might be a tad intimidated to participate, or perhaps it's the opposite. Regardless, I must make the point that even if you are amongst the top 64 women's teams, you are not required to participate, and should you vacate your spot, the next team down from 65 onward will take your respective places. As such, registration will close at 1 PM on the dot, so make sure you're at the salon by 1. We will then depart to the venue from there momentarily once everyone's bald. And on that note, take heed that if two or more members of your team enter the salon, and your team is eligible to participate, your team will be drafted into the tournament on the spot, so if you don't want to participate, don't go near the salon until after 1. But before we reveal who's eligible to participate, allow me to showcase both what's at stake, and how the tournament will go."

A series of 8 blank tables along with a bracket and the words, "10 million euros and WWCF points!" flashed on screen.

"With these points, I hear you can gain a certain warping ability. Truly a top prize for a girl who shaved her head bald for glory. And of course, the 10 million euros too. Oh, and I'll even throw in a signed and framed bill by yours truly."

"As for the schematics of the tournament, all 64 teams will be sorted into groups of 8, where they'll play round-robin to determine who gets the top spot and advances to the finals."

"And from there, it's standard elimination, no losers finals, so no second chances if you lose there. But there will be some minor prizes for making the top 8, such as a million euros and a million WWCF points, so don't be shy about fighting for the top spot."

"And speaking of which, let's reveal the standings to see just who's eligible to participate."

The standings for the women's section flashed on screen and went as follows:

1. Japan- 16 points 8W 0D 0L

2. Norway- 16 points 8W 0D 0L

3. Belgium- 16 points 8W 0D 0L

4. Croatia- 15 points 7W 1D 0L

5. Kazakhstan- 15 points 1W 1D 0L

6. Azerbaijan- 15 points 7W 1D 0L

7. Montenegro- 15 points 1W 1D 0L

8. United States of America- 14 points 7W 0D 1L

9. German Empire of Prussia- 14 points 7W 0D 1L

10. England- 14 points 7W 0D 1L

11. Hungary- 14 points 7W 0D 1L

12. Ukraine- 14 points 1W 0D 1L

13. Russia- 14 points 7W 0D 1L

14. India- 14 points 7W 0D 1L

15. New Republic of Paeonia- 14 points 7W 0D 1L

16. Uzbekistan- 14 points 6W 2D 0L

17. Armenia- 14 points 6W 2D 0L

18. Georgia- 14 points 6W 2D 0L

19. Bulgaria- 14 points 6W 2D 0L

20. Argentina- 14 points 6W 2D 0L

21. France- 13 points 6W 1D 1L

22. Denmark- 13 points 6W 1D 1L

23. The Netherlands- 13 points 6W 1D 1L

24. Israeli Kingdom of Simien- 12 points 6W 0D 2L

25. Estonia- 12 points 6W 0D 2L

26. Vietnam- 12 points 6W 0D 2L

27. Peru- 12 points 5W 2D 1L

28. Ecuador- 12 points 5W 2D 1L

29. Brazil- 12 points 5W 2D 1L

30. Serbia- 11 points 5W 1D 2L

31. China- 11 points 5W 1D 2L

32. Czechoslovakia- 10 points 5W 0D 3L

33. Lithuania- 10 points 5W 0D 3L

34. Spain- 10 points 5W 0D 2L

35. Neo-Babylonian Empire- 10 points 4W 2D 2L

36. Neo Kingdom of Egypt- 10 points 3W 4D 1L

37. Türkiye- 9 points- 4W 1D 3L

38. Antarctica- 9 points 3W 3D 2L

39. Romania- 9 points 3W 3D 2L

40. Poland- 8 points 4W 0D 4L

41. Ethiopia- 8 points 4W 0D 4L

42. Switzerland- 8 points 3W 2D 2L

43. Greece- 8 points 3 W 2D 2L

44. Latvia- 8 points 2W 4D 2L

45. South Africa- 7 points 3W 1D 4L

46. Mexico- 7 points 3W 1D 4L

47. New Empire of Mongolia- 7 points 3W 1D 4L

48. Bosnia and Herzegovina- 7 points 3W 1D 4L

49. Ireland- 7 points 3W 1D 4L

50. Albania- 7 points 3W 1D 4L

51. Sweden- 6 points 3W 0D 5L

52. Italy- 6 points 3W 0D 5L

53. Australia- 6 points 2W 2D 4L

54. Canada- 6 points 2W 2D 4L

55. Portugal- 6 points 2W 2D 4L

56. Austria- 6 points 1W 4D 3L

57. Scotland- 5 points 2W 1D 5L

58. Åland Islands- 5 points 1W 3D 4L

59. The Philippines- 5 points 1W 3D 4L

60. Chile- 4 points 2W 0D 6L

61. Kosovo- 4 points 2W 0D 6L

62. Wales- 4 points 1W 2D 5L

63. Indonesia- 4 points 0W 4D 4L

64. Northern Ireland- 3 points 3W 0D 5L

65. Republic of Korea- 3 points 2W 1D 5L

"Even though these have been posted since this morning, it really is something to compare it to how it was two days ago. Now just 3 teams are on perfect scores, and of those three, only Japan and Norway have done so with nothing but 4-0 victories. Belgium's also been flying under the radar, but now I imagine more will take them seriously. We also can't diss teams like Croatia, Kazakhstan, Azerbaijan, and Montenegro, who despite not having perfect scores, haven't lost a match yet. Also gotta give props to Indonesia for making it in on only draws, assuming of course they accept. Oh, and you'll notice we also showed the team in 65th place. Word is Norway won't be participating, so lucky you, Korea. Although, isn't Korea's women's team composed entirely of Malasangre and it's manager? Think we might see the buck get passed, especially with the bald head requirement," Kisha frowned.

"Not a fan of the bald look, I see," Mifsud chuckled.

"Especially not on me! I once had a nightmare some dragon guy shaved me bald after beating me in a gam of chess."

"Oo, how tempting. So if I beat-"

"Nope, no games for the show. That comes from the higher-ups."

"Even if I... paid?"

"I ain't shaving my head no matter how much cash is placed before me."

"A shame, but I imagine others might think differently. In fact, I'll make a little wager with you that no more than 3 or less of the top 64 teams will refuse to participate. So with a million euros and your hair on the line, you in?"

"No. Though speaking of which, if your theory is true, it means teams 66-68, which includes New Zealand, Iceland, and Tanzania would get the option to participate. Wouldn't be so nice for 69th-placed Pakistan though. Bet they'll be hoping your prediction's off."

"Oh for sure. Saima even had her head shaved a few days ago, and has been rocking the beauty cream on that smooth head of hers."

"Hmm, wonder if all those girls that shaved their heads before the tournament like Muazzez knew about this ahead of time," Kisha thought before resuming the banter. "And on the topic of those teams, I wanna bring focus to the fact that New Zealand's in 66th place with just 3 points. That's pretty damn sad, but deserved since they've seemingly benched their best player for the whole tournament."

"Who is that?"

"I'm glad you asked, cuz it segways perfectly into our next segment! When we return, more DSPCMs to discuss! But don't go away, cuz as a treat, we'll show you just how bald some of these ladies are going for the 6B during the commercial break. You can thank our sponsor, Smoothie Q, for this."

"Yes, and to all the ladies that are part of the eligible teams, I hope seeing girls like Mimoko and Maestro Himitsu embracing the bald motivates you to join them and participate in the 6B tournament."

"And with that, coffee break!"