Chapter 0:

The Role God

God of Exploitation AKA How I Survived a Fantasy World Through Leeching and Manipulation


"The world that one is familiar with is the one that you have experienced. The world you know is driven by technological advances and connected societies (hopefully). When one's time is up in the world, whether from old age, an accident, or intentional act of injury, they will be shipped to the afterlife. By afterlife, I'm talking about the world of fantasy. For the sake of simplicity, take the most cliché aspects of a generic fantasy world, like dragons, magic spells, stone and wood huts, castles, and all of that medieval stuff, and put it into one planet. If you can't think of a generic fantasy world, I'll bring in a DVD player and we can just do a marathon of all the Lord of the Rings movies, or even bring in some game consoles to play a few JRPGs..."

"...Now that you have that basis in mind, you can imagine your life like this: A world where the economy is based on simple crafts and farmed goods, you live in isolated villages where everyone knows every rumor about each other, and every basic sanitary action takes so long that you figured out why people in the past don't bathe as much. Some go out of these boundaries, and go out on a magical adventure. It is an adventure where one learns to use magic and weapons against forces of evil (well, perceived to be evil). So, you may be wondering, why would someone want to take up a boring life in this fantasy world? Reason one, I guess someone had the short stick and was forced to feed the village for the rest of their life. Reason two, when one arrives in the world of fantasy, they will be granted strength to overcome evil. However, if one were to be forced to live with crappy stats, then one would definitely be frustrated with the grinding, and turn away from such tasks. Nevertheless, everyone has a chance to start a new life full of exciting adventures..."

"...With this information in mind, who decides one's stats? Who decides who should be weak and unfit in a society, while letting others have a wild journey around the fantasy world? That person would be me! So, do you understand everything? Can I evaluate your role in your next life?"

I anticipated for the man in front of me to excitedly ask for an analysis. The man has been recently killed, but to avoid disturbing sights, I have all my clients delivered with their appearance approximately 6 months before their death. Either way, this man already looked like he was asking for trouble. His fancy black suit contrasted his scowl and hair appeared like daggers. He doesn't look any older than 30. What is this man's past? This could be answered once I perform an analysis. However, the man began to speak, as he had questions for me instead.

"So, I am going to this fantasy world with my body and memories?" Said the man, unassumingly.

"Yes, that is correct. However, your life in the world of fantasy will be enhanced. When I do an analysis of you, I will know everything from the day you were born. I know every sin and good deed that you have done. It's like really invasive of one’s privacy, but don't worry, you're not going to meet me again. I've done this all the time, yet had zero complaints afterwards. That's only because they never see me again. I don't even know what to do with this information. And, NO, I can NOT feel love or hate, so don't get any ideas. Anyways, once I've figured out your past, I will decide the most appropriate stats for you in the fantasy world. Moreover, you will receive a few perks. These could be special skills or techniques you can use to make yourself unique."

"Not gonna lie, but that stuff sounds kind of lame. What if I want to be a musician?" asked the man. He sounded more mocking than serious.

"A musician? No, I'm going to decide the stats and skills that will be used for COMBAT purposes. Seriously, don't you want to kick some ass out there?"

"Hey, I’m not an army man. Don't those guys die a lot and get sent here? Why not let them do all the fighting. I don't really like fighting with fists."

The man's temper began to grew. It made me question this man's past even more. Was he really a pacifist?

"Look, I'm sorry, but there's going to be all of these monsters and stuff when you get to the fantasy world, so you're going to have to fight at some point. Plus, I already explained how boring life will be if you aren't a fighter in this fantasy world."

"So, you're saying a life of a musician is boring? Just give me all the talent of a great guitarist. I don’t even care if guitar music is boring to people in this fantasy world."

"Nope, can't help you with the guitar skills. But you can always learn it from some of the people who live in the fantasy world?"

"I don't have time to learn. You can give me all these spells and powers, but you can't let me have the hand coordination to play guitar?"

"Fine, I'll give you a power to have a lovely singing voice, but this will only be used for lulling people to sleep. Also, you're stuck to singing Georgian Chants."

"If you're forcing me how to live a life, then that’s okay. I won't enter this stupid world."

"Hey, I can't let you loiter here. It's only one person allowed in this room, and there are lots of clients waiting outside."

"I thought this was the afterlife. You know, eternal rest. Why am I being thrown into a world where I'm going to go through more pain and suffering? Shouldn't I be living in, whatever the hell this place is?"

"I don't believe I explained what this world is. Look around you." I looked around and back at the man, who disapprovingly stared at me. I began to explain anyways.

"You're going to forget this once you leave anyways, but if it makes this conversation any faster, I will explain. You are in a bordering world between the world you lived in, and the world you will be going to. Think of this world like the meat of the sandwich, but change bread into meat, and meat into bread, because the bread is the disgusting boring part. There are lots of worlds like this, and people have different fates. Some go to a border world of rest, waiting to be born again. And then there is this border world, where the souls of dead people are kept intact, and will be placed into a new world. Who controls these border worlds? We are what you people call Gods. We take on different appearances, depending on our positions. I myself am a cluster of dark shaded floating rhombuses. As a God of this position, I can analyze your background, and give you your stats and roles. That is why I am known as the Role God."

This information was hopefully enough for this man to understand. Aside from my appearance, what he saw all around him were bright clouds, within a sky of a color darker than sky blue. The man must not have realized until he started glancing at his feet, but he appears to be floating in this world.

"Can I leave this world any time I want?" asked the man.

"Sure, do whatever you like."

I watched the man float away, only to see his body fling backwards. The man began grabbing his nose.

"Ow, what the hell was that?" shrieked the man.

"That is your warning. This border world is inescapable."

"You know, you are not a really nice God."

"You don't even understand my life. Now, I am the one who decides when you should leave, and you can only leave after I analyze you. So, hurry up and let me analyze you already."

"Alright!" barked the man. "But I have one request."

"What is it?"

"Can I be the girl character?"

"What?! No! I can't change anything about you except for strength, roles, and skills."

"Well, that sucks. I thought the point of fantasy worlds is to live out my fantasy."

"Are you trying to say what I think you're trying to say?"

"Oh come on, every guy has had some sort of fantasy of thinking what life as a girl is like. Plus, the girls get more variety of clothing in these fantasy worlds."

"I didn't even analyze you yet, but I have a feeling you're going to use that girl appearance for very perverted purposes."

"So, if you can't change physical bodies, what about old people? If they die and come here, do you just throw them out into this 'fantasy world' and hope they have fun."

"Hey, I never said these fantasy worlds were fun."

"Yes you did. Like, when you first explained the fantasy world."

"Oh, I guess I kind of did."

"Yet you say the fun way is going on some dumb adventure killing monsters?"

"Okay, you know what? Fine, live a crappy life down there. You're going to want to go killing something at some point."

"You really are a heartless God, forcing lots of unwilling people to go down and fight."

I have dealt with some difficult clients before, but this guy was marginally worse than some other ones. Also, I kind of lied about the part with Gods not having feelings, we definitely do feel. This guy was seriously starting to piss me off. It's almost like he was prying into my own life now.

"Why do you keep asking me these questions anyways?"

"It's not my fault you have all of these dialog options. I was given them as soon as I met you."

"I just made them just to give people a better understanding. You don't have to go through every single option."

"Okay fine. What if I were to just keep asking the question 'Why am I here again' over and over again?"

"Don't you even dare."

"I think I can make this my own afterlife. Just sitting in this cloudy border world and listen to you blabber the same responses."

Before this man turned this afterlife into Hell, the room began to vibrate. A red light emitted from the clouds, and an black orb was spawned in front of us.

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN THERE?" boomed a loud voice.

"It's one of these smartasses that are constantly questioning stuff in this world. You try to deal with these asses yourself."

"THAT IS NOT MY DUTY. BESIDES, I HAD TO DEAL WITH IT FOR CENTURIES. IT'S YOUR TURN TO DO IT. LEARN THROUGH EXPERIENCE. NOW HURRY UP, WE'RE EXPECTING A HUGE COMPANY FROM AN AIRPLANE ACCIDENT!"

The red light dimmed down. The black orb remained.

"You have a boss? What did he mean by 'I had to deal with it for centuries'" asked the man.

"Don't turn this into some monologue. I'm analyzing you right now."

I protruded my polygonal appendages into the client. He didn't feel pain, but remained paralyzed. I could read everything about this man. It was just as I expected from the attitude I was dealing with.

"Hmm, you really aren't physically offensive. Whatever, I can beef up your skills for close combat, and even dodging at such a range. Will this make you happy?"

"Hell no. I want to be an all-defensive wall, so I can go about doing what I want without anyone doing a damn thing to me."

"Fine, if that's what keeps you content. However, you will still have to keep training in order to build up more defense. I am giving you the stats of the maximum potential you can be if you train hard enough."

"You've got to be kidding me."

I ignored the man's words. To make it easier, I pulled out two card essences. One represents physical strength, and one represents defense.

"You will choose now!" I had no actual face to show my expression, but my appearance was made well enough to look demanding.

"Alright, let me think about this for a second." The man glided his fingers over the cards. All of a suddenly, he lunged his body into the air. However, he stopped right in front of my body.

"I pick this one." The man stared down. He wanted to scare me, but appears to lack the idea that I do not have physical eyes to look back. I have the ability to look all around me at once, almost like a 360-degree camera. However, just this moment, I had lost track of what the man touched. He had purposely covered up the card that he picked using his own body. If I could see what remains, I would know what ability he had chosen. The man looked up and spoke.

"I can tell you're wondering what I picked. It was the defensive stats. I want to live a life of pure pleasure."

"I will see it to believe it. Now get up, or I will be forced to use physical means. Although you can't die in this world, you will feel pain at infinite measures."

"This will be a great test then. Why don't you stab me with one of those edges? Maybe I will withstand it with my defensive stats, or maybe I will dodge it with my physical skills."

"You seriously don't listen to anything, don't you? You have to train in order to master that type of power."

"So go ahead then. Make me feel this infinite pain you mentioned!"

The man had a wicked look on his face, almost like he wanted me to hurt him. Knowing the skill he had chosen, this should be a lesson for him.

With incredible speed, I pierced the man in the chest with an edge of one of my appendages. The man leaned forward, and let out a faint gasp. It was a surreal sight, but I wanted to do everything to get rid of this man. However, this man had now made me curious. His body looked like it was in pain, but his form was peculiar. His right arm was stretched forward. With an instantaneous glance, I retracted upon seeing a horrible sight. The man had grabbed hold of the black orb.

"Let go of that, or I will be forced to let you live the most horrible life down in the world." My words were shaky. Although I do have the power to do such a thing, I never had to do it. However, this may be the one time this would happen, because what this man didn't realize was that the orb contained unimaginable power from the Gods.

"What's the matter?" The man chuckled to himself. "I thought you could see everything happening at once. But it looks like that agility skill from the attack buffs really helped me out."

Although it was true that I could see everything at once, I could still hone my focus on certain things. This man had actually distracted me by making me hone in on the cards and his body rather than his swift actions.

"Not going to talk? Well then, maybe you can get me answers out of this thing," said the man. The man squeezed the orb, and seemed to be pointing at me.

I flung myself at the man holding the orb. However, the moment I touched it, everything turned blinding red. There was no sound, but felt like a great explosion. More colors flashed before me. I had a hard time looking around. It was almost like my sight was locked in place. Everything felt surreal. I felt like the world had grabbed a hold of me. I felt my body had lost control, yet I could still feel it. The body felt like it was brand new. I looked up, and for once, I saw who I truly was. A mass of floating rhombuses. But how was this possible? My answered appeared as I looked down. I saw the body of my client. I looked up again, as the mass of polygons began to yell.

"AH! WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED? WHY DO I FEEL SO WEIRD? IT'S LIKE I CAN TEAR MY OWN BODY APART!"

"STOP! THAT'S BECAUSE YOU CAN!"

"Hey, I told you not to -"

Before the man could finish his sentence, he had realized what has happened.

"Am I talking to myself?" asked the man, possessing my own body. As he reacted more calmly, it was bizarre to hear my own voice coming out and hearing it for what it was.

"I could say the same thing. However, hearing the voice from a God is pretty normal, so I don't find it too special."

"A God? Am I a God now?"

As I heard that question, my mind instantly raced to a phrase.

"AKITUPEBADITOWEMADILUPETINOSI!"

In an instant, the orb spilled out its colors like dripping paint. The orb became more transparent.

"What's going on? What did you just say?" Even though the man was using my body, the tone of my own voice sounded like genuine fear.

"That was an emergency lock down activation. That orb reacts to certain phrases. Us Gods have chosen a password that you wouldn't be able to comprehend."

"Seriously, word activated passwords? Don't you guys use lightning spells, or even voice recognition?"

"We found this to be the easiest solution just in case of certain events like exactly what has happened now. I have deactivated the orb so you can no longer use its powers. Another God has to come in here to reactivate it himself using his or her powers."

"Well, I didn't think it would switch bodies. Why the hell would you create a function to do that?"

"I guess I have to explain. So, as you heard, Gods have bosses, and have positions, kind of like jobs. However, this is different. Even though I have the position, the Role God, that does not mean I assign roles for the rest of my life. Us Gods are more like souls that posses a husk of a God. So, let's say, instead of the Role God, I want to be the God that creates life. I would use that orb, and the Life God and I would swap souls, and I would be the Life God, and the other one would be the Role God. It's kind of like we immediately get all the experience needed to do our new jobs."

"Sweet, so you're saying I can become a Life God?"

"Hey, that is exactly why I deactivated that orb. You can no longer abuse that power."

"Yeah, I guess I can't. However, let's see what kind of abuse I can do with these role powers".

In an instant, that man possessing my body stabbed me. I had never been in a human body much, but I felt an odd sensation. My strength was diminishing. It was clear what this man was doing. He was setting my stats all the way down to one. I had no way of fighting back. He had already removed all my perks. I was angry, but speechless of what had happened.

"Now, this is my world." Those were the last words I heard from my body, as he stabbed me again with another appendage.

My mind went blank, but I could feel my body flying through the air. By deducing the possibilities, the man had used the teleportation abilities on me. He was sending me to the fantasy world with absolutely nothing.

This was not an ordinary man. Even though I analyzed him, there must be something I had missed. But how was it possible? I learned every single detail from his past. This was all frustrating to me. However, there was one thing I knew. I would be living the life of this man, Printer Hatecraft. Though, I didn't really like that name. I may need to use it when it was necessary. For my new life, I would just go with my temporary nickname, R. G.