God of Exploitation AKA How I Survived a Fantasy World Through Leeching and Manipulation
My vision began to clear up. I was not blinded by the light, but more by the tears in my eyes. No, I was not crying because of the beauty of sunshine. It was because of the events that happened 3 months ago. I believe I failed to explain this to, but travelling from the border world to the new world takes a very long time. I was stuck replaying that thought throughout my journey. Yeah, that wasn't a very fun sky trip for me. Enough about that. This was the first time my body was moving. The first thing I did was look down. It was the black suit that the man was wearing.
"Ah crap, that bastard forgot to give me the complimentary peasant suit. Uh, to be honest, for the jackass that guy is, he knows how to go out in style. I don't quite like how he keeps these plastic tags in the back of his shirt. Is that a new style trend? Whatever, this will be his punishment when he gets back in his body..."
I yanked out the plastic from the back of my shirt, and was about to chuck it on the cobblestone ground. However, I stopped and I looked up. I was moderately amazed with the sight. I had seen this starter town some years in the past during surveying duties. However, it looked like these guys had done some serious remodeling. Last I remembered, fantasy world towns weren't that colorful. Full of crumbling grey rocks you call walls topped off with a layer of hay. I was kind of glad they changed that ugly crap in this town. Though, this town was way too colorful that it felt surreal. The architecture of the residential houses were like castles, but slightly smaller. The market street was full of vibrant shades of a rainbow. The buildings walls had sculpted moldings and tiled with elegant windows. I walked closer to one of the shops. Upon closer inspection, the insides looked like I would step backwards in time. They were just like a regular market. As in, serving bread without any sort of refrigeration, all wooden furniture, the dust and cobwebs in the corners, and major fire hazards with those candles. The outside was just a gilded façade. What happened to this town? I should start asking questions.
I heard a man talking. As I crept closer, it looked like he had a small crowd of people.
"As you can see here, this is the statue of the founder of the city of Charlieton, Sir Fir the Third," proudly said the man.
"Ooh, how beautiful," said a woman observing the man.
Something happened when I heard both the man and the woman. It was a weird feeling of familiarity. I walked closer to see what was happening. There was a statue, but it was modelled after a man that I had never seen before. Wait, why am I saying that? Of course I had never seen that man before. But, at the same time, it's almost as if I should know who he is.
"Excuse me!" I exclaimed to the man.
"Yes, how can I help you? I am giving these tourists a guide to the city of Charlieton." The man turned to me. Something was wrong with him. He wore a suit, but it wasn't exactly a suit. It looked like it had the texture of a potato sack, smeared with grass stains. He wore a hat made of straw, and it seemed he attempted to make it look like a tricorne. It looked like it would fly off any moment. I noticed him trying to keep his hat down. Finally, the man had a moustache, but it was clearly horse hair pasted above his lips. Now I was seriously confused.
"Could you explain who is this Sir Fir the Third? Was that his name?" I asked the man.
"Indeed. Sir Fir the Third and his exploration team came here in the year 1756, as they believed this town to be rich with gold underground. He believed this was true from his men licking the dirt, and saying it tasted like chlorine. Sir Fir the Third went to lick the trees, and called out "My God, this tastes like absolute crap!" Then they proceeded to tear down all the trees using chainsaws, and built a mine underground. Just as predicted, there was gold underground. However, what they encountered under there was... was... um... AHEM!"
The man's voice suddenly changed. It went from the voice of a radio talk show host to one of a man child.
"Are you alright, man? What was that about the tree crap, and the chainsaws? I want to hear the rest of this story." I observed the man put his hand on his head, and put them up in the air again.
"YES! I'VE GOT IT NOW! Sir Fir the Third encountered a giant flaming warthog!"
The crowd around him gasped, and some gave affirmative noises. However, this is all sounded like nonsense. It was a weird feeling that I had absolutely certainty of it.
"Who is Sir Fir the Third!" I screamed out. "I've never heard of this guy my entire life. All you gave me was some really stupid story. Is there any proof of this tall tale? Where's the mine? Actually, what was that you said? 1765 or something? You guys have been keeping historical records?"
I wanted to keep going, but I noticed the man turn bright red. His eyes watered up.
"YOU COULD'VE KEPT YOUR DAMN MOUTH SHUT THE WHOLE TIME!" wailed the man. He ran away crying, while his hat fell on the ground. I thought I majorly screwed up.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Get out of here!" yelled the woman from the crowd. She was awfully friendly before, with an innocent attire. The typical apron and bonnet. Now her face was wrinkled with anger.
"Well, sorry with, whatever I just did. However, I'm quite new here, so can you please explain what is going on? Is this some sort of quest or something?"
"Oh great, are you here to go on an adventure?" The woman sounded really annoyed. I can tell she didn't want to speak to me, but she did anyway. "Yeah, we got bored of adventures. Actually, everyone here is bored."
"WHAT? BORED?! YOU'RE IN A WORLD OF MONSTERS AND FANTASY!" I responded with astonishment.
"Hey, hey, hey, I got this, Louisa," said a man from the crowd approaching me. This one was wearing fantastic armor, but was completely defiled with what appeared to be ink to look like a painting or something. At the same time, there was something off when I heard the name "Louisa". Before I could think about it, the man continued the explanation.
"Sorry dude, but if you don't play it right with that girl, she gets really bitchy."
"Wait a minute, play it right? I'm not hitting on her."
"Looks like I gotta explain it to ya. You see, we all are actually really experienced players. We've all travelled across the lands."
"Seriously?" It took centuries for us Gods to develop the world's environment. They couldn’t have found EVERYTHING, could they?
"We've defeated every monster, infiltrated every castle and lair. We've beaten the devils, demons, and all sorts of monsters from underground several times."
"I thought the devil lord guy, whatever is the leader, whom I have no idea who he is, was trying his best to stop you." Every devil and demon was out of my control, unless it was the Gods who created them. Pretty much the leaders of these evil creatures are 100% not the same as us Gods. Though, I thought they would try a little harder than this. Wait, what am I saying? It's good that they were being put down so easily, but still...
"Basically, once we've gotten to our maximum potential, there's really nothing for us to do anymore. Fightin' the same exact boss fights. We could do that with as many handicaps as we could think of, and it would still be too easy. What's the point anymore? One option is to commit suicide, sure, but we've all decided something else. Create a brand new game."
"So, you're saying that there's nothing left in this world, so you want to make something of your own." Damn, I need to have a word with my boss about this. I thought he said he was going to build new things for these highly experienced people to play with.
"Yep, and I dunno if you know this, but gettin' money is easy. Apparently, money literally grows from trees. Trees as in every time you kill a monster, you get gold. So, we decided, as long as there is someone growing food, we don't need to go on an adventure. Just keep racking up gold, and paying the fine shop owners for the basic necessities for survival, and living our lives in this town."
"So, all this artsy stuff is all for roleplay? That statue of whatever Fir guy for example? And those buildings, what about them? Erm, not like I knew what these buildings were like before since I'm new here and all, but I expected a fantasy world to have crappier architecture."
"That would be my work," called out Louisa. It appeared that she had calmed down, but was still sour about me. "Aside from the roleplaying stuff, I decided to go into the arts for both my fun, and to give more life to roleplaying. Besides, no one really runs these towns. We actually decided it would be funny to burn this piece of crap town to the ground, but we said 'screw it, let's just roleplay our own fantasy.'"
Ignoring her planned destruction comment, there was something that radiated in my mind when she mentioned going into arts. I should ask now.
"Were you actually an art sculptor in the past life?" I asked hurriedly.
"It seems obvious now, but yes I was one," she replied.
All of a sudden, all sorts of thoughts flew into my mind. It was as if I knew who she was.
"Is your full name Louisa Malcott?" I asked without giving a second thought.
The woman sudden grew her eyes. She looked very worried at me.
"What did you just say?" Her voiced changed from an apathetic tone to a scared one.
"Is that correct or not?" I pursued.
"HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW?" She charged into me, almost like I confessed a murder.
"HEY, CALM DOWN LOUISA!" The other man grabbed her. "I'm sorry again." The man pulled the whimpering woman away and walked back to me.
"I don't know what the just happened to be honest. I just kind of said what came to mind," I explained. "Oh, by the way, what's your name?"
"Uh, can't you figure that out yourself?" asked the man.
I looked at the man's face carefully. The shape of his eyes, his jaw, his nose, all of it didn't ring a bell for some reason.
"I don't know who you are. It just kind of came over me. Just tell me your name."
"Alright, my name is Jaydee."
"Y-yes! So, you know people's last names for no reason?"
It happened again. It was like a rush of information came to mind when I heard his name.
"I really don't know. But my name is -"
Before I said my name, I suddenly paused. I had to choose my name carefully. I don't really know the consequences of choosing one or the other, but just to play it safe...
"I am R. G."
"Uh, your name is Orgy?"
"WHAT? No! It's two letters. R. G."
Ah crap, that's what I get for sticking with a nickname based on my profession. I should've said my name was Printer.
"Whatever, forget about who I am, or whatever you guy are doing in this place. I am new here. I don't have anything. I want to fight."
"Sure thing man, you can have your adventure, but we have a tiny problem. You see, we realized since we have the strongest weapons, we don't need a weapons shop anymore."
"You closed down a weapons shop in a starting town?"
"Hey, calm down. This fantasy world crap is super easy to get by in these areas. You don't need anything. Besides, you really want that stuff? You got this itchy yet bulky chainmail armor, those swords that are as good as using plastic knife to shave, and all these cheap ass potions that heal a fraction of what enemies out there can do. Worthless garbage."
"Alright fine. Can I borrow the armor you guys are wearing?"
"Borrow? On an adventure?"
"Just give me something strong! I want to get the hell out of this psycho town."
"I'm sorry man, but all of us here are keeping our equipment. I mean, the only way to get them is in the most difficult dungeons, and we don't want to go all the way back there."
"What? I thought you said all that adventuring is easy."
"Yeah, the battling. The commute to the area takes literally weeks. You think I got time to do this delivery service?"
"Damn it! Who thought designing a world like this was a good idea?"
This town. It was designed to mock me. It was designed specifically to not make me progress to even one route. Maybe another new person can, but with the appalling stats I was given, I can't go there. I can't back down. Maybe if I play along with their 'roleplay', I might be able to make it out of here.
"You know what? Let me join in your roleplay thingy, but on one condition. You have to give me a role that lets me borrow your stuff just for the said roleplay."
"Alright, man! You just entered the world, and want to join the party," cheerfully said Jaydee.
Holy crap that actually worked. Okay, I better not screw this up. This was my only chance. Just do what Jaydee and the other roleplayers do, grab my armor and weapon, and get the hell out of this town.