Where did they go?

Loneliness. It's what she's felt since the start. No one was there for her, no one was ever with her... She was always surrounded, in the dark. Looking at the light, but always covered by the shadows. She wanted to feel warmth. The loving touch of a parent, listening to the bright laughter of a sibling. Sitting in front of a fireplace, drinking homemade hot chocolate and sharing stories. Maybe even playing board games. But that was not possible, was it? It's hard to have anyone like her. 

Her own instincts - what she does. It's equivalent to what a villain would do. One who plays with everyone else's emotions for fun, manipulating reality. One who would destroy others just for their own goals. Was it truly her fault though? Could it be possible that all she truly wanted was for someone to finally listen, instead of keeping everything in? She doesn't seem to be accepted much. But she just - can't help it. Because after all this time, after TRYING FOR SO GODDAMN LONG, NO ONE HAS EVER FULLY ACCEPTED HER! 

Oh how much she missed the good ol' days, hanging out with her closest friend who even now hasn't contacted her for so long. Maybe even just messing around with her father, who seems to hate her now. Just... why..? What is she meant to do? They all leave her in the end. Those who don't leave her aren't even real, they were all just who she created. Why was she still here, trying over and over again? 

Time and time again, nothing's ever worked. People who she helped, gone. People who she offended, also gone. Do they even remember who she is? Will they ever remember her as someone at all? 

 So, who is this person? Who could this oh-so-possibly-pitiful person be? So pathetic, ain't it? Tears streaming down her face, broken mirror shards scattered on the ground and on the sink. Tangled hair, visible eyebags, dangling bandages showing peeks of her scarred skin. Wearing a grey hoodie.

Lilin dropped the knife. She couldn't do it, and she didn't have the courage to do so either.