Celling Point

The cellar reeked of damp and rot, its walls swallowed by shadow. Paddy’s lamp sputtered in protest, its shaky glow clinging to the gloom like it didn’t want to be here either. 

Dozens of eyes glinted back. Thin faces, hollow stares, all of them shackled to the stone.

Paddy: "...As I was saying... fear not! We are here to save you from this wretched life of slavery!"

The prisoners just… stared. A beat of silence, then a wiry man with one missing tooth laughed.

Toothless Man: "Slavery? Mate, we were tryin’ to rob the place. Got caught."

Another voice chimed in from the shadows, a woman with tangled hair.

Woman: "Yeah. Thought the manor’d be empty. It wasn’t. They threw us down here."

Toothless Man: "Figured we were stuck here for good on this side of these damn iron bars."

Paddy blinked.

Paddy: "…Ah. Well, consider this… a correctional program! Early release for good behaviour."

Toothless Man: "You’re not a guard."

Paddy: "No, but I am your hero."

He spread his arms grandly, as if that would help.

From the corner, a quiet voice spoke. Softer, heavier.

Young Man: "I… am a slave."

Paddy turned. In the gloom, a thin young man with dark hair stared back. Unlike the others, he had an iron collar around his neck. His wrists were chained to the wall tighter than the rest.

Paddy: "…Oh."

He glanced back at the thieves, then back to the collared man.

Paddy: "Well… one out of five ain’t bad."

Balloon groaned and sat up, dirt still smeared on her face. Her hair was a mess of twigs and crushed flowers.

Balloon: "…Ugh… are we in a dungeon?"

Paddy: "Cellar."

Balloon: "Still counts."

She rubbed her eyes, taking in the row of prisoners.

Balloon: "…Oh. Uh. Hi?"

Toothless Man: "Hi."

Paddy crouched beside the collared man.

Paddy: "So… they keep you down here?"

Slave: "I was… bought. They said I was too weak to work the mines. They keep me here for… other uses."

Paddy winced.

Paddy: "Right. We’re getting you out. All of you."

Toothless Man: "Even us? We’re not slaves."

Paddy: "Yes, yes, even you."

The collared slave’s eyes shone faintly in the dim light.

Slave: "You’re… a light in this darkness. Not many come for us."

The thieves nodded, some murmured their agreement.

Woman: "Guess you’re not the usual type, hero."

Toothless Man: "Most folks would just think about themselves! Hoho!"

Paddy felt a flicker of something, pride? Maybe.

Balloon stepped closer, voice low and serious as she tugged his sleeve.

Balloon: "Paddy, what exactly are you doing?"

Paddy glanced around, then leaned in, whispering urgently.

Paddy: "Okay, hear me out… more people with us means more people to get caught before we do. Built-in distractions."

Balloon’s eyes widened.

Balloon: "You’re going to use them as decoys!?"

Paddy shrugged, grinning sheepishly.

Paddy: "Hey, it was your idea to rob this place!"

Balloon’s expression hardened.

Balloon: "Yeah… but he buys slaves. That’s completely different!"

Paddy smirked wider, rocking a shameless face.

Balloon rolled her eyes but said nothing, tension hanging in the damp air.

The prisoners buzzed quietly, debating how to get out. Paddy looked around, weighing options.

Paddy: "First rule of jailbreaks, can’t run with bracelets on. Let’s fix that."

Balloon stepped forward, rubbing her hands together. The air chilled instantly, frost forming on the walls around her fingertips.

Balloon: "Stand back."

With a deep breath, she swung her fist hard into the nearest chain. The moment her skin connected, a shimmering gauntlet of ice hardened around her fist, amplifying the impact like a hammer of frost.

CRACK! 

The chain shuddered, a link snapped loose. One of the prisoners jumped back, holding up a hand.

Prisoner: "Woah, watch it! You nearly hit me!"

Paddy whistled low.

Paddy: "Nice! Now that’s some punch."

One by one, Balloon and the thieves worked through the chains, snapping and bending metal links until everyone was free, or at least loose enough to move.

Suddenly, heavy footsteps echoed down the hall on the other side of the iron bars.

Guard: "Hey! What’s going on down there- HEY! STOP!"

Paddy’s heart jumped.

Paddy: "Move! MOVE!"

They scrambled up the stairs toward the heavy door. Balloon swung again, smashing the padlock with an icy blast that exploded in frost.

Boots thundered after them, echoing in the cramped stairwell. Chains clinked as the prisoners shoved each other up the steps, tripping over fear and iron.

Toothless Man: "Hah! I didn’t think this door even opened!"

Paddy: "Less talking, more moving!"

The lot of them ran into the garden beyond the cellar. Mud splashed under their boots, the smell of crushed hedges sharp in the cold night air.

Paddy: "Ok lads, time to split! We'll meet up at the point we discussed!"

Toothless Man: "What point!? There was no point!?"

He shoved them toward the hedge, then bolted toward the fountain on the opposite side.

But when he glanced back, every single one of them was right behind him, wheezing and flailing through the moonlight.

Paddy: "I said go away!"

Toothless Man: "Nah, we were gonna use you as a decoy too!"

Woman: "Safety in numbers, boss!"

Paddy: "I’m not your boss!"

A crossbow bolt shot into the dirt near Paddy’s boot, and he jumped. The whole group dove into a line of hedges, crawling through leaves and spiderwebs while shouts rang out behind them.

Guard: "They went this way!"

The escapees tumbled into the open garden path, sprinting toward the outer fence. Paddy’s lungs burned. Behind him, all of the guards had now barreled up from the cellar stairs, their lanterns bouncing wildly in the night, beams of light slicing across the hedges.

Toothless Man: "What now, boss?!"

Paddy: "Stop calling me that!"

Balloon: "He means, where do we go?!"

Paddy’s eyes darted around: fences, flowerbeds, the faint glimmer of moonlight on iron spikes.

He broke into a full sprint, boots pounding the dirt, Balloon right behind him with the prisoners stumbling in a messy line. The collared slave could barely keep up, chains clinking, but fear seemed to make him faster.

Behind them, the guards got closer with their lanterns swinging wildly.

Guard: "Stop! You can’t run!"

Paddy: "That’s literally the only thing I can do!"

A crossbow bolt shot brushed past the group as they got to the fence.

Paddy: "Alright, Balloon, same plan. Ice pole, Olympic vault, like we practiced!"

Balloon: "We never practiced!"

Paddy: "Then we're winging it! Go!"

Balloon: "This is going to kill all of us…"

Balloon conjured the long, glistening ice pole. Frost misted off it in the moonlight as she braced herself.

Paddy grabbed it first, crouching like a track athlete.

Paddy: "One at a time! I go first-"

He didn’t even get to finish before every thief lunged for him at once.

Toothless Man: "You’re not leavin’ us!"

Woman: "Take us with you!"

Paddy: "No, no, NO-!"

But it was too late. Four thieves, plus the collared slave, latched onto him like barnacles, arms around his neck, waist, and legs. They were a human centipede of desperation.

Paddy: "You’re gonna break my spine!!"

Balloon wobbled.

Balloon: "This won't-"

Paddy: "RUN, WOMAN, RUN!"

She sprinted forward, ice pole hitting the ground. The chain of idiots launched upward, flailing in the moonlight like a drunken kite.

They cleared the spikes by inches, Paddy screaming the whole way. One thief’s shoe even snagged on a spike, spinning him upside-down before he tumbled free on the other side.

They hit the mud in a wet, groaning pile, elbows, knees, and swears everywhere.

Paddy wheezed.

Paddy: "This… is the stupidest… heist…"

From the manor, shouts rose as guards spilled out the doors. Torches flared, steel clattered.

Guard: "BY THE FENCE!"

Balloon staggered up.

Balloon: "We… we need to run!"

Toothless Man, clinging to Paddy’s shoulder, gasped.

Toothless Man: "We made it… hero! You really saved us!"

Paddy’s head snapped toward him, face red and muddy.

Paddy: "Hero? Don’t you dare start with that crap."

He peeled the man’s grimy fingers off his shoulder, then glanced at Balloon, who was already pushing herself out of the flowers, and gave her the scummiest face imaginable.

...

Paddy: "…Broke."

A long, miserable pause.

Paddy: "…Completely broke."