Chapter 0:

Obligatory Prologue

Why the heck are novel titles so long?! Why is every single story an Isekai?! What happened to creativity?! I could give you my whole life story in a single sentence but I'm not going to. Find it out for yourself. Peace and love. No hard feelings.

My name? Why do you want that? How are you in my mind? Get out. You don't belong here. Stop. Stop it now.

I might as well go along with it. Picture me, a regular boy doing regular things, when I was hit by a truck...Wait. Wrong story. I'm still alive, attending high school in Japan. The land of the rising sun. That doesn't make sense because the sun rises in every single country...except Antarctica. But that isn't even a country.

Everything in my life is an inconvenience, but somehow, everything is convenient for everyone else. My name is Emushi. Yes, it's Emushi. Like the Main Character of a show, the MC. 

I wish my name was Protagonist because then I would have infinite plot armour and everything would work out. Instead, I have the power to ask the creator of this novel for things, and things should happen. Let me tell you a never goes well.

I'm a normal guy doing normal things. Surely I shouldn't be able to defeat intergalactic aliens that come from space, or gods that have supposedly come to earth to bring upon armageddon because they want to get rid of humanity. Why? Because humans are obviously evil. What else? What more were you expecting? Remember, being evil is stupid.

Yes, you can call me a pessimist. But I'm not. I'm an optimistic pessimist, also known as a realist. I think of all sides of a story, and never leave a leaf unturned. But that is such a cliché. Instead, I like uprooting trees so I can say that I never leaf a tree rooted.

It's cool to see plants grow until you realise that the seeds in fruits are their children. There are heartless monsters out there that eat them so they never see the day of light. They crack their shells and demolish their innards. You can hear them cry if you put one close enough to your ear.

I'm not an orphan and my parents haven't mysteriously vanished from my life. They exist. How else do you think I was born? Now that I think about it, how am I supposed to separate reality from my thoughts? My thoughts are the narrations of my life. It's too complicated to explain.

This is the point where I explain the world I live in and my surroundings. There are some green trees here, and the blue sky is up there. This town is the same town I've been walking down for the past 16 years of my existence. Yes, even when I was a newborn I opened my eyes and saw these streets. And yes, my belly button goes inwards. Those 'dudes' with outwards belly buttons are enigmas within this world. No one knows what goes on in their mind.

They say that the legendary hero is someone who has a belly button that goes in. He will awaken from his dormant slumber when his life is on the line and his friend is in danger or something like that.

I wonder...if I could count the number of characters that I've spoken through words, then how many would I have? Is it possible to weaponise words? All these thoughts are so stupid. That's how my life is. 

Thinking of hypotheticals and trying to justify their existence, and how plausible they are in this world. Then I go on long tangents and no one cares to listen. That's why I live in the world I created inside my head. That's the only place that I will never be rejected from. Sad, right?

That's just who I am. With my existence in this novel, I want to go on journeys and do amazing things that you would only dream of doing. Please, writer of this novel, make the next few chapters of my life interesting. Oh, and make it funny and entertaining. No boring stuff. And stop portraying me as a sad, depressed boy. Peace and Love. No hard feelings.

What? It's mandatory for me to end this chapter whilst referencing the name of this novel. It's part of the contract I signed.