Chapter 8:
who I am is not who I want to be
The year 2018:
Karma shivered and pulled her coat tighter around her as she stepped outside the shop.The weather felt cold. Winter was almost there. Rain was about to start, Me and Karma, standing near a pet shop. While staring at a Fat Ginger Cat, Karma's eyes had a gloomy look inside. I felt as if she is missing someone or as If that cat reminds her of something.
I politely said to her:
" Who is the person you want to see the most right now? "
She said:
" No one. "
I asked her again. And she said:
" It is a person whom I can only talk to in my heart. It is a person who does not speak to me when I am in a crowd. Whenever I am Alone an echo keeps on increasing in my mind and tells me to Speak. It's like a trauma that reminds me that I am not allowed to Love my life. "
I said to her:
" I don't have any idea what sort of trauma you have faced but, I will try to make you fell in love with your life again. The world is full of beautiful and generous people. "
She said:
" That is not possible now. I am too old to believe in that shit. This is a world that considers that the scent of artificial flowers has love in it."
I said to her:
" It's okay to cry if the past was scary. You just need to welcome the morning with a smile. Don't be afraid to start walking toward a new life. "
" Allow yourself to adore the world and people around you. "
She said to me:
" You are a liar just like everyone else."
I said to her:
" There are probably lots of things that I don’t even know about you. I worry about your heart Karma because you don't care about other people's problems and make fun of them. Even the people who are trying to make you laugh with all their might. They are actually suffering and crying their heart out because of you. "
She shouted at me and said:
" You say you're not, but you're still a liar. You are not worried about me. You are only worried about yourself."
She pushed me away and started walking further, further, and further away and, she said:
" Too many chances have been given to you. "
Whenever she pulled me away, It made me believe that I should become more closer to her. She is a human worthy of love. She tries to deny it, but she loves the way I adore her. Leaving me behind hardly hurts her at all.
There are some feelings that She'll never know about. Unsaid Sad words that burnt my throat. She will never know the value of feelings, I was holding for her. Her heart was Colder than a Pirate’s heart.
She did not ask me to come to her place for the next few days. She ignored my messages and calls. During those days when she was ignoring me, I was worried for her.
I was worried for her. I promised myself that I won't ever let her be all alone. I will become better than I was before. After waiting for four days, I went to that pet shop. I looked around in the shop. A shopkeeper came to me and said:
" Do You want to buy any pet? "
I turned around and said to the shopkeeper:
" Four days ago, I came to your shop and I saw a fat ginger cat. I want to buy that cat. I can't see that cat here. Where is that cat? "
The shopkeeper saw at the backside and said:
" Ohhh!!
That fat ginger cat. That cat is sleeping behind that white cat. "
I was relieved. I thought as if someone else bought that cat. I Bought that fat ginger cat as a gift for Karma, from the money that I earned from bug bounty hunting. I wanted to make her feel beloved.
Made of distorted melodies, we humans are creatures worthy of love. We have all been lied to and gotten hurt in the past. We all face some sort of psychological trauma throughout our lives. Emotional trauma is the same as psychological trauma. Both names are just popular ways to differentiate physical injury. Some people may develop phobias and anxiety associated with such experiences. I wanted to help her from getting rid of her past trauma.
Despite she ignored every text and call of mine. Still, I was desperate to meet her. I approached her. I knocked at her door as the bell was not working.
She did not open the door. I knocked on it again. I waited for fifteen minutes, but she did not open the door for me. I was holding a bucket in my hand in which that fat ginger cat was feeling annoyed with me. I was walking back and forth. I waited for another fifteen minutes, but she did not open the door. It started to rain, and I returned back to my home with that annoying cat.
After I went back to my home that cat started to lick itself. I felt disgusted after seeing that cat licking its own body. I am definitely not a cat lover. Only because of Karma, I took that 'moody creature' to my home. My younger sister: Rin came into my room and screamed with joy. She was definitely one of those fools who love being ignored.
That cat started to rub itself with my sister and started to meow, meow.
It came closer to me and jumped onto my bed, and started to crawl all over my bed. I tried to scare it and pushed it away from the bed. That fat cat was stubborn. It stuck its paws to the bedsheet and freaked me out. I asked my sister to keep that annoying creature in her room. She hugged that cat and took it away from me.
The Next Morning I woke up early in the morning and put that annoying cat inside a bucket. I bought some chocolates and a small card. I wrote on that card:
" Happiness is not out of stock. Knock on my door if you won't find it anywhere else"
I went to Karma's home. I was about to knock on the door and The door opened before I knocked. Karma came outside and was surprised to found me at her door.
I was breathing heavily, and I was confused after seeing her and said to her:
" Where were you? I was so worried for you, but you were busy ignoring me."
She yawned and said:
" I was not busy ignoring you, but I went to my sick Grandma that kept me Busy. "
In the middle of our conversation, that annoying cat started to meow. It got Karma's attention. I gave that bucket to her and said to her:
"It is a present from me to you. "
She jumped for joy after seeing that cat and hugged that cat. She started to act like a kid after holding that fat ginger cat. She was on cloud nine after receiving that act as a gift from me.
She said to me:
" Zack, Thank you so much!!
It is a worth-loving gift. It is one of the best gifts I have ever received from anyone. "
I said to her:
" Seeing you happy makes me happy."
She said:
"Let's go inside and decide a name for it. "
She looked inside the bucket and saw the card I placed for her.
She took that out and read it out and said:
" Zack, I will remember to knock on your door in case happiness is out of stock nearby me. "
It was the first time that she called me by my name. My name sounded like a melody in her voice. I almost turned red while blushing.
Karma said:
" Stop blushing and start thinking about a name for my cat. "
I made a list of names suitable for cats and showed her. She asked me to read that list, and I started reading it and said:
Boulderface, Spitemouth, Morncat, Helltree, Oscar the Grouch, Skeletor, Ghosts, Cloudling, Minotaur, Malificient, Hauntling, Flametooth, Hydra, Haunthand etc..She said:
"Eww!!!
I asked you to suggest me a name for a cat, not for a monster. "
I giggled and said:
" Your cat is a monster. "
She said:
" Not a Bigger monster than you. I have decided to call my cat 'Hazel.'
I said to her:
" Every single name that I suggested to you was better than this. "
She smiled and said:
" Will you come with me?"
I said to her:
" where? "
she said:
" I want to buy a Cat collar for Hazel."
I agreed, and we started to move toward a shop that sells pet collars. Karma bought a cat collar with a bell for hazel and put that collar on her cat. After she put that collar on that annoying cat, It did not look like a monster.
(Features of Akane Toru:
Height: 5'2'' (Year 2015 )
Hair: She had long, black hair cascaded down her back. Her hair was resting on the top of the ears, come to both sides, split over the right eye with some lonely straws pinching his nose.
Hair Texture: Soft and Silky
Descriptive Hair Color: Ebony/black.
Skin Tone: Ivory
Characteristics of skin tone: Porcelain to light skin color, without or with minor imperfections, sensitive, and could easily burn under the sun
Nose: Sharp
Eyes: She had Icy blue eyes that are a bit whitish or a glassy shade of blue.
Cheeks: Chubby cheeks with Hallow dimple on cheeks
Chin: Cleft chin
Jaw: Jaw narrowed )
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