Chapter 9:

When it's a game about numbers, you always check back to see if the number becomes bigger.

Why the heck are novel titles so long?! Why is every single story an Isekai?! What happened to creativity?! I could give you my whole life story in a single sentence but I'm not going to. Find it out for yourself. Peace and love. No hard feelings.


The night of my reckoning, success and fame has come! I'm sitting at my computer, and I'm typing away with my unbeatable ten words per minute. I'm going fast like lightning! I can see ten seconds into the future now. I've grown ten extra arms. I've become one with the universe. Nothing can stop me. My computer is dying. It's creating black smoke. It's taking its last breath because of my power. Done! That's the first chapter of my novel.

What's it called? Oh, why I've given it such a simple title. It's called. "I died whilst getting hit by a parked car. Now I'm in another world beyond heaven parking cars for people whilst fighting evil deities that threaten to destroy the world and kidnap the person I love." Simple really. Oh, the obvious irony...I'm such a genius!

I go onto the webpage, and it asks me for my email address. I type in 'enteremailaddress@rightnow.jp' I forget to change the name of the address...leave me alone.

It asked me for my password, so I typed in 'Haruto's Intelligence'. It said it was too weak. I typed in 'The plot'. It said it was too short. I typed in 'password123' and it accepted it. I'm not going to keep that as my password. So I left it as 'ifyoureadthiswhyyouhackmeforsadface' and swiftly moved on. My username? I left it as 'inyourpockets'. Not in that way...Disgusting. It's so if someone asks me for my username, I'll tell them that it's in their pockets.

I upload the novel and I see the creepiest side to humanity I've ever seen. There's fan fiction on it...enough said. And oh my days, there's just Isekai after Isekai after Isekai...Like the name of the novel suggests, why is every story an Isekai? Eventually, some guy called Isekai will wonder why people hate him. Imagine if he heard someone say 'I died and entered Isekai'. How do you think he would feel?

I refresh the page and see the views go up. It's at one. Not bad. I wait a few seconds and read a book. I look at the screen again and refresh the page. Two views? Decent. I do something else and then check the webpage. Three views? Getting better.

At this point, I'm just invested in watching the numbers go up. Why is it so addicting? I read and re-read the first chapter like my life depended on it whenever the views go up. I'm getting sweaty and my anxiety is building.

"Pose! Sniper Pose! Cool Pose! Spider Pose! Ceiling Pose! Antagonist Pose! Evil Pose! Jojo Pose!"

I'm posing whilst clicking the refresh button whilst looking cool. Twenty views? Not bad. I click on the new novels section to see the latest novels. There's one that catches my attention. It has 100,000 views, 50,000 likes and 25,000 comments in the span of ten seconds. It's called Haruto...and it's about ninjas who have superpowers...and the title card is orange.

Now I know why I couldn't choose his name! This was all decided by the creator of this novel from the beginning!

"IT'S JUST A RIP-OFF. WHY DOES IT HAVE THAT MUCH INTERACTION. MY STORY WAS BETTER THAN THIS. HOW IS IT SO POPULAR? I'M THE BETTER WRITER. I PUT SO MUCH MORE THOUGHT AND EFFORT!"

I grab a whiteboard and show it, but it's blank.

"Look at all this effort!"

I realise it's blank after looking at it.

"Wait! I'll show you!"

I run downstairs in anger.

"I'm going tell mom on you!" like a child.

I reach downstairs and my parents are staring at me like I'm possessed.

"What's wrong, dear? Did something happen?" My mother said.

I run into the office room where I work. My parents run in with me, and I drag a huge whiteboard on wheels in front of them. It has pictures and pieces of string that run from point to point with markings like a detective connecting the dots in a mystery. I turn around with a sad look that a puppy owner would love.

"It's not fair! I had such a good idea for a novel! Look! The main character is bullied by someone. And then that someone dies. But then he goes on a journey to avenge the bully even though he has no reason to and no connection. He finds out that his parents aren't his real parents and they're dead. Then I put in a huge plot twist that the villain is actually his father. Then he realises the man who raised him was his actual father, and that the villain is actually his uncle, making him his father's brother so he's basically a father! His love interest dies but he realises that he was in love with another girl! I had so much more character development and in-depth storytelling! AHHH! WHY! I'M REACHING CRITICAL MASS! MY BRAIN IS ABOUT TO GO QUANTUM!"

My parents walk out and slam the door. To torture me even more, one of them opens the door and slams it again. Then they start playing Paradoxical by ReoNa using the door.

My novel should be the best there is out there! I'm the best writer! I deserve to win! I guess these things happen, but I can't help but wonder how people win things. I've never won anything in my life. Is there a secret formula, or is it just luck? Maybe it's neither — you just have to rip things off. Isn't that the whole premise of this nove-

Never mind. I run back upstairs, and I start messing around with the website. I then realise that there's a way to increment your views...Hehehhe. Hehehhehe. HEHEHEHEHEEE.

I'm going to boost my views, and no one can stop me! This stupid website that probably costs a femur to make had one flaw that I'm going to abuse! My multiversal level brain figured it out! Now I know why Biranu gets a buzz from being evil!

I'm spam clicking the mouse whilst posing so I don't get bored and my hand doesn't get cramped! Then I realise that Haruto is doing the same thing because I have all the plot in my head! We're having an intense race of spam clicking. With one hand, I'm clicking the mouse, and with the other hand, I'm eating a raw potato!

With his one finger, Haruto is doing one finger press-ups with the mouse. On the other hand, I'm typing emails frantically, whilst finishing an essay and signing documents quicker than lighting.

Haruto stops doing press-ups and begins bench pressing while spamming the mouse intensely. Sparks fly from both our hands and our vision blurs. Both of us enter the fifth dimension and we're in a tunnel of light. I look to my right and I can see him sitting there on his desk spamming his mouse. He looks at me and smiles creepily, as we continue to click furiously.

You can't script the stupid stuff that's happening right now. Our mouses are still intact at this point, but they begin to wear and tear. Suddenly, a bunch of people in outfits from Formula One appear to our side, and guess what they do! They start changing out my mouse, monitor and computer with another one like we're in a pit stop. They disappear and a traffic light appears in front of us. It changes from red to green and we go again and start spamming.

It's intense, as my novel is now at One Million Views! Haruto is in a close second with Nine Hundred Thousand views! I guess his pit stop team failed him.

Suddenly, were taken out of the immersion and we enter the real world. All the clicking fried the website...It doesn't work anymore. We've killed someone's hard work that they set up. Now when I loaded up the website, it comes up with a message.

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, and a Formula One race that terminated connection to our servers, the website will no longer be active. The competition will remain active, and the winners will be announced next week. Please keep an eye out for that."

How are we supposed to crown a winner when a single day had not passed?!

A week magically passes by and I can't remember anything that happened because I progressed the plot. Kendo, Ariso, Haruto, Miraimirai and Anahana are there. The owner of the café is there, along with the chef and the waiters.

The chef is wearing stereotypical chef clothing, but he's upside down on a board with wheels. No, it's not a skateboard. My stupid writing grammar program keeps on telling me to correct 'a board' with 'on board.' Stupid program. The owner of the café is a regular man wearing a black tuxedo, and the waiters are waiters.

There are a lot more people there than I had imagined. They all entered, but it's sad because there's only one winner.

"I bet I won!" Miraimirai said it with such a smug look.

"Wait! They're announcing the winner!" Ariso said with a smile.

"Thank you all for participating! We will announce the person who is in third place. That position goes to the person whose profile name is 'Riteraru', someone called Riteraru. Yikes. It looks like someone wasn't loved by their parents." The owner said.

"HEY, I WAS LOVED BY MY PARENTS! THEY LOVE ME SO MUCH. LOOK THEY'RE OVER THERE. LOOK AT HOW MUCH THEY LOVE ME!"

Rite walked up to the stage screaming.

His parents are on their phones on the back minding their business. They look like accomplished entrepreneurs. They don't care about him.

"Here you go! A ticket and the money" He hands over a ticket that says 'free meals for a year!' along with a cheque that had the prize money.

"Wow! Free meals. I love food." Rite said.

"Now for second place..."

"This is the position for losers, you losers," Miramirai said.

"Yeah! Losers" Anahana just had to join in.

"We have three winners for second place! Those with the usernames 'swordsarecoolandplotprogression', 'enterusername', and 'inyourpockets.' They are known respectively as Kendo, Haruto and Emushi! You are our winners!"

I can't believe it! How many views did the first place winner get? We all have about 1.5 Million Views! There's no way anyone can beat us at spamming!

"Hey. Looks like we figured it out." Kendo said smugly. We go up to the owner and we get a ticket that says 'Free meals for two years!' and three cheques.

"Wow...the money has been split between us..." I said in sadness.

"Are you ready for me to win, losers?" Miraimirai still had that smug look.

"Now, winning by a landslide, with a username so lovely. A girl by the name of 'tritagonist' is none other than Ariso! With a whopping 2 million views in the span of the 21 hours that the website was up for! She has won the grand prize of a free single item a day for a lifetime, with the big cash prize! The three boys over here managed to reach 1.5 million views, whilst that boy whose parents love him so dearly managed to get 1 million views!"

What?! How is this even realistic?! Five new authors reaching over a million views in a single day totally isn't suspicious or anything. The look on Miramirai's face brought glee to mine. That's what she gets. There's nothing more satisfying than an overconfident, stuck-up fool being pushed down.

"I love you, mom and dad! I couldn't have done this without you. I love my friends, who won this with me. Thank you for everything!" Ariso said with tears in her eyes.

Now I'm glad that side characters one and two were created because I'd rather see them become the overused mean girls than Ariso. She deserves it.

I guess this part of it is over. I'm hoping our adventures get better and better.

Peace and love. No hard feelings. A big warm smiley face too.