Why the heck are novel titles so long?! Why is every single story an Isekai?! What happened to creativity?! I could give you my whole life story in a single sentence but I'm not going to. Find it out for yourself. Peace and love. No hard feelings.
This time, we're not beginning the plot inside of the school! A cause for celebration. Instead, I, the Protagonist, am walking down the road with Haruto. We're wearing cool casual looking clothes. We then see a cat that's walking along the sidewalk.
"Hey look, a dog!" Everyone was looking at Haruto like he was an escaped prisoner.
"That's not a dog. Here little kitty..."
I got its attention and it stopped to look at me with its silly-looking eyes. I went down to pet it, and as soon as I did, it barked. Like a dog...What the heck! This thing must have escaped from the ooz!
"See I told you." Haruto started walking away like he figured out the secret to turning on a car. It's not that hard...
My happiness is torn and now I'm sad. We finally got to the café that Ariso told us to meet up at. Haruto and I entered and we found Kendo and Ariso sitting down.
"Hey! Emushi! Haruto! There's a novel-writing competition. Want to enter it with us?"
"You just need to make an account on their website and the person who gets the most views wins," Kendo spoke after Ariso.
Then, two girls from our school came over. They were wearing the same uniform we would wear to school. They weren't bothered to change. The school day was over.
"Hey, losers! What are you doing? Doing loser things?" She said. Her name was Miraimirai. She had green hair. Her accomplice had turquoise hair.
"Yeah. Losers doing loser things...Fellow loser, would you pass me a drink?" I said.
"Certainly, lord loser," Kendo responded as he passed the water.
"This is water. You best remember that." I said whilst drinking from it.
"Yeah, whatever! Are you losers going to enter that competition? You'd better not because I'll stomp you!" She said.
"Yeah she'll-" The girl behind her, called, Anahana, stopped because I intervened.
"Yeah, okay. I get this is your gimmick and the only reason you're relevant to the plot, but you don't have to repeat everything she says."
"Oh, okay..." Anahana became terrified and shy. I guess that's a win.
"You know...some people would gladly be stomped by you in the literal sense. I'm glad Rite isn't here..." Kendo added. He looked at the camera that was filming our lives, and this novel. Wait...how can you film a novel...
"Whatever! Let's go!" Miramirai and Anahana walked away.
"Now that side characters one and two are gone, what were you saying again?" I said. Oh, and I gave them their names. It's the only liberty I have. Their personality isn't up to me.
A waiter came over with a blank tray, a notepad and a pencil. He puts it on the table and stares at us. We wait there patiently, waiting for him to speak.
"I'm ready to take my order." The waiter said.
Why is the waiter asking us to take his order?! He's got it the wrong way round! Why does he even work here?!
"Yeah sure. Would you like some fresh air to breathe? How about an empty glass of water?" I retorted with a stupid smile. He deserved it.
"How about our specials? Deep-fried oxygen or carbonated protein?" Kendo joined in.
He started walking away.
"Man, the customer service in this place is bad." He said with a horrible voice.
Another man came back with a massive tray that had a single cup of coffee on it. He came up to us and he put a card on top. He then spun it around and placed it on the desk so the cup with the coffee was upside down.
"Enjoy." He bowed and left.
"How are we supposed to enjoy this? What did you order?" I said in extreme anger.
"I ordered the coffee from the display case. I said I wanted that one, and he gave it to me." Ariso smiled about it.
I look inside the display case at the front of the café. All the items are upside down.
"Stop smiling!" I am now more disappointed than angry. I calm down and enter a state no human has ever entered. The state of...not caring anymore.
"Why are the items upside down?" I said.
"Oh! The chef has a fear of gravity! If you're upside down, then you can't go up, can you?!"
That's the stupidest thing I've heard. Why isn't the damn café upside down then? Why are the chairs and tables upright? Why does a café even need a chef?! Why did he even decide to work here? I bet his family left him.
"Anyway. The owner started the competition so he could generate more revenue. His business is doing fine. He's not going to go bankrupt, and this isn't his only option. He just wants more money." Kendo said.
Wow. So this guy doesn't have a sad back story. He's just...greedy.
"Let's all enter! Whoever gets the most views in a week wins. I heard that there's prize money involved. They also said that our story would be eligible to be converted into a Manga, and maybe into an Anime!" She spoke with some much glee, that she was oblivious to the entire situation.
They're doing that corporate thing where they can't make promises, otherwise, people would get mad. I don't expect any less. There are people out there who would be offended by road signs.
We all leave and go home. I enter my house and take my shoes off. I go into the kitchen, and my sister who I had no idea existed is there. Why? For this next gag which probably isn't funny.
"Welcome back home, Emushi! Hibana made something for you." My mom said that whilst both my parents were sitting down drinking a cup of tea.
"Here, brother. I'm going upstairs to draw now!" My sister isn't even that young. She's fifteen and acts like a cute four-year-old to get the attention of my parents.
"Why is she even called, Hibana. That just means flower." I said to my parents.
"It's because your father and I like flowers, dear." My mother said with a motherly, kind smile. I start smiling because I read between the lines.
"Oh, so you called me Emushi because you like main characters and protagonists?" I said.
They both start laughing uncontrollably.
"No. We looked at the book of boy names and picked from that. How else do you think we named you." My mother said.
"Now go and do your work, son." My father said.
Never have I felt so betrayed by my own parents. My life has been a lie, and my mood is dead.
This is stretching on a bit too long. Man does my hand hurt so much from the insults being thrown at me...by my own parents. I shall write my own novel and win this contest! In the next chapter...maybe.
Feelings hard no. Love and peace.