Maze of Emotions

The year was 2019, and an eerie sense of foreboding gripped me. My throat tightened, forcing me to consciously take each breath. Despite the coolness of the day, I broke into a sweat, feeling unusually hot. I was overwhelmed by an inexplicable sensation of suffocation, as though the air around me had thickened. I struggled to comprehend why I felt this way when, logically, there was no imminent danger. I was perfectly safe. Yet, the feeling persisted, and I couldn't shake it.

Then, a knock at the door broke through my anxious thoughts. My younger sister, Rin, opened the door, revealing a delivery man with a parcel. He handed it to her, and she hurried inside to tell me about it. My name was emblazoned on the package, and I cautiously tore it open. It revealed a gift from Karma.

As I held the gift in my hands, an overwhelming sense of loneliness washed over me. I felt empty, as if nothing truly mattered anymore, and as though I was invisible, adrift in a world that no longer cared. It was as if my efforts to connect with Karma had been in vain, leaving me isolated in a room full of people. I sensed she didn't want me around, that my existence held no significance to her. It drained me, leaving me with a profound sense of loneliness, as if I had no one to talk to or turn to.

Something was amiss. I was in danger, but I couldn't quite grasp what form that danger would take. The gift was a warning, a signal preceding a calamity. It was an opportunity for me to escape her revenge game, as if Karma was leaving breadcrumbs for me to follow.

The gift contained a diary, and its first page was already written. It carried a message for me:

"Dear Zack,

I want to let it all out and let you know that:

'Who I am is not who I want to be.'

'Forgive me for being who I am.'

Back to the time when we used to do bug bounty hunting together, and I got you running in circles in my favorite ice cream parlors. I am sorry for being a burden on you and for wasting your time. There is still so much here, a life worth living waiting ahead for you. Every sin I carve is everlasting. I have lost in this maze of emotion. Do not get me wrong, but I just want you to be happy. And now, I am trying to leave everything all behind so you can live a happy life."

As I read these words, I felt a wave of emotions crash over me. Sweat formed on my brow, and nausea began to creep in. My head spun, and I became increasingly uncomfortable, insecure, and anxious. The thoughts raced through my mind—what if she was leaving me? What if she had said the wrong thing? What if she hated me or never replied? I couldn't rationalize, couldn't think; my emotions overwhelmed me.

The feeling of impending doom weighed heavily on me. My emotions spiraled out of control, making it difficult to breathe. Yet, I ignored the warnings and replied to Karma's text:

"Yes, I have received the parcel. I am coming to meet you."

I acted as if I were blind to the danger, choosing to disregard the ominous signs. The purple diary, far from being a gift, was a prelude to impending catastrophe. I placed it carefully in my bag, where it served as a reminder of the love and pain that came with my connection to Karma.

Putting on my coat, I ventured outside, oblivious to the gloomy sky. It started to drizzle, then rain, but I continued, not bothering to take an umbrella. My destination was Karma's home. As I approached her doorstep, I was drenched.

Knocking on her door, she answered, concern etched across her face.

"Come inside," she said. "Why are you drenched? Where is your umbrella?"

I stepped in, and she handed me a towel and a cup of coffee, but I couldn't bring myself to take a sip. Instead, I stared at her, trembling, and erupted with an outburst:

"You want to leave, but I won't let you. What can I do to make you stay with me forever? I am so full of weaknesses without you. You make me strong. You are not a sinner. Nobody truly knows themselves. We all lose and find ourselves along this long, winding road. I won't change. My world will crumble without you, but I will keep walking, always with you."

Karma seemed relieved, as if a burden had been lifted, but an inexplicable sense of dread still loomed over me.

I couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong, but I couldn't pinpoint what it was. Was it all in my head, or was it a warning I couldn't decipher? As I left her home, the nagging sense of foreboding stayed with me, haunting my every step.