Something I want to ask you

“Shizu!”

Why? Why could I still hear them? I was supposed to be dead, wasn't I?

Hands clutched at my elbow and opposite shoulder. I curled up on the cold floor and listened to my teeth chatter, blocking out the sounds of the people I had lost long ago with my wrists. Was this my punishment? Being locked in the dark and hearing them call out for me without being able to answer them ever again? It was a cruel fate. One that I wasn't entirely sure I deserved.

Hadn't life drawn blood from me first?

Placing me in this world, unwanted until Uchi came along? I had seen what happened to patients who had been born in similar conditions. I had seen the permanent mark it left on their happiness. I had seen it darken the corners of their vision and felt it tremble beneath my own skin whenever I had to touch someone else.

A constant reminder that love was not always eternal and hatred was only a single mistake away.

“Shizu, it's okay.” It was the voice I had missed the most even though death had stolen its sound from my mind. “You're okay. We'll look after you this time, I promise.”

The scent that I craved, even before I remembered it, was mixed with the tang of lemon as it washed over me. Someone pulled me up into their arms and held me close, rocking gently on the floor. I blinked and turned towards the white hair in my peripheral vision.

Sorrow had made a mess out of Tatsuya's blurry features, tightening his brows, dragging down the corners of his mouth, and leaving teardrops at the base of his eyelashes. He seemed too focused on supporting my back and stroking my hair to notice my stare. I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my palm and blinked rapidly before lifting my head.

The Jaw was a lifetime away.

The guards weren't here and my friends were.

I was alive once again.

“What happened?” asked Kohaku from behind me, her hand pressed against my upper back. “Why did she fall like that?”

“I think she must have remembered something,” said Yua, leaning forward. Her gaze was as soft and sympathetic as her tone. “Give her some space.”

“Tatsu, your hand.” Washi sounded distressed as he tried to press a damp towel to his brother's skin. “You need to cool it down now.”

“Shh,” said Tatsuya, flicking the wet material away and continuing to rub the back of my head. “Yua said she needs space.”

“What happened to your hand?” I asked as soon as my soul felt connected to my body again, catching his wrist and drawing the injury into my line of sight.

“Never mind me,” he said. “Are you okay?”

The tea cup Washi had given me lay on its side under the table, empty except for a few drops of mostly clear liquid. I nodded as the lemon scent grew stronger and touched the red, scalded area on the back of his palm and fingers, closing my eyes to block out the sight of Aoto slowly sinking back into his seat with a sigh.

The damaged skin cells and capillaries lit up at once, almost as though it hadn't been over a decade since I last used the ability, and I started redirecting the energy in Tatsuya's body to speed up the healing process. He grew new layers of skin in seconds and the redness had vanished by the time my eyes opened again.

I tried not to think about how much the growing warmth in my palms reminded me of my third power. The one that none of them knew about and which was one of the many reasons why they didn't believe Ras' claims against me.

“Sorry about that, everyone,” I said once I was done healing Tatsuya's burn, attempting a dry smile. “That memory was a bit more intense than the others.”

“What are you apologising for?” said Kohaku.

Washi moved out of the way as her and Tatsuya helped me get back up onto the sofa. Yor appeared with a glass of water for me to drink.

“Take this,” he said softly. “You've been through a lot, Shizuka. Anyone is bound to be affected by it, no matter how amazing they are. Don't push yourself harder than you have to, okay?”

“I won't but this is still embarrassing as hell so can we get back to our last conversation please?” I said, letting go of Tatsuya and rubbing my face with both hands.

Their laughter was genuine but weak as they all settled back down. They wanted to know what I had recalled but clearly none of them thought it was a good idea to pry. They truly were my friends, more like family than the one I had been born into on earth. Than the parents who had left me next to the Spiritless Tree to fend for myself before I knew who I was.

“What were we even talking about again?” said Washi, pawing at his scalp. “That really scared me.”

“Sorry,” I said, straightened up and hiding my hands in my sleeves. “I just wanted to know what happened the day you thought I di – I fell into the Jaw. From your point of view.”

“We could do that,” said Aoto as Yua used her telekinesis to pick my tea cup up from the floor and place it on the table. “Let's go in a circle, shall we? Washi, you can start.”

“Me?” He looked from Aoto to me and back again. “Oh okay. Um, where should I start …”

- - -

It was late afternoon by the time everyone had finished sharing the version of events.

Tatsuya had received a note that he believed had been sent by me, asking him to meet me at the Spiritless Tree the night before, only to find Ras in his wounded state. Washi had woken up to find his brother missing and had run into Kohaku whilst looking for him, who also got a message from me asking her to come to the shop immediately. Aoto had heard about the reason behind Kohaku's absence from his other guards and quickly tracked her to the Jaw. Yor and Yua hadn't caught wind of what was happening until after I was forced to jump. Toshi's point of view was the only one missing from the narrative but, from my memories, it seemed like she too had been in receipt of a message from me.

I had no idea how the messages had been in my handwriting nor could I prove who had sent them. The forger had to have done a good job in order to fool the people who were most familiar with my written work. The picture already forming in my mind gained colour and spread like water paint on a damp canvas, and I didn't like the image that appeared.

Thankfully, the unsteadiness in my hands had calmed down and Tatsuya's proximity had worked wonders on my stressed body as I sat beside him, our ribs eventually rising and falling in sync. He caught my eye several times throughout the turn based reminiscing and tapped the back of my knuckles as if doing so would confirm my wellbeing.

“Now that we've all shared our stories,” said Aoto in the middle of one such instance. “What should we do about Shizuka and the Inquisitors?”

“I think it's clear that she can't stay here,” said Yua with a apologetic dip of her head in my direction. “It seems like both the former captain of the guard and Ras had no intention of pursuing true justice back then. I'm sure the Inquisitors will only be worse.”

“Former? Did the captain retire or something?” I asked. No one answered me until I threw my hands up despite everything. “Oh, come on. Are we really doing this now?”

“He died in a duel a few years later,” said Tatsuya without looking at me. “It was a very fair match, I promise.”

“Oh.” I had no idea duels were a thing here. “Nice.”

“What do you think, Shizu?” asked Yor. “Even if we do manage to get them to agree to a trial, I doubt it would be as fair as that guard's duel was. Do you still want to settle down here despite that?”

“Not really,” I said but the thought of leaving the place I had only just returned to felt like sand in my shoes. “Do you think it would be safe to live somewhere else?”

“Nippo isn't the only village in this country,” he replied. “With enough support, we could easily get you settled somewhere further away. Or you could travel too, if you want. Some people enjoy the nomadic lifestyle.”

I just didn't want to die again. At least not any time soon.

“I could ask my girls more about the neighbouring villages,” offered Kohaku. “A lot of them travelled to Outer Town from further abroad and some of them still have families in other villages.”

“That would be helpful,” I replied, turning to Tatsuya. “What do you think?”

“I'll help you, no matter where you want to go,” he said but his smile seemed strained. “If you want to stay and fight for your place here, I'll stay with you.”

“Thank you.”

“So it looks like most of us agree that Shizuka should leave Nippo,” said Aoto before he looked straight at me. “I'm willing to support you however you need until you can stand on your own. Now we just have to decide when you should leave.”

“As soon as possible,” said Tatsuya before I could answer. “We can decide where after we leave.”

“You don't think it would be wiser to plan ahead?” asked Aoto, interlacing his fingers in front of his chest.

“If the Inquisitors come back sooner, we'll be in trouble,” he replied. “I think it'd be wiser not to risk it.”

“I agree with him,” I said. “How soon do you think you'd be able to fly?”

“Tomorrow,” he said after a moment. “We can leave tomorrow morning just before sun rise.”

I nodded and Aoto looked around as if waiting for anyone to object.

“So Tatsuya and Shizuka will leave tomorrow morning,” he said. “Kohaku will find out more about the other villages. Yua and Yor, we can discuss how best to help them with their plans. We can ask Toshiko to – Does she normally go missing for this long?”

“I'll go find her,” said Washi, standing up. “I'll let you know as soon as I do.”

He stopped beside me on his way out and said, “I hope you feel better soon, Shizu. I'm sure it won't be long until we see each other again.”

I smiled up at him and he touched my shoulder before he left.

“We should rest as much as we can before we go,” said Tatsuya as he rose to his feet. “Can Shizuka use the same room?”

Aoto nodded and Tatsuya held out his hand to me.

“Do you need me to carry you?”

“No, I'm okay, thank you,” I said, allowing him to help me up.

“May I escort you to your room?”

“I won't say no to that.” I pretended not to see the look Yua and Yor exchanged as we left the room and headed upstairs.

The walk was slow and Tatsuya walked behind me as if anticipating a fall.

“How's your arm?” I asked.

“It's okay,” he said. “But if you want to check it tomorrow, I also wouldn't say no to that.”

I smiled as we reached the room Aoto had lent me before but he didn't leave.

“What is it?”

“I have something I want to ask you before we leave,” he said without hesitation. “Can I?”

“Now? Here?”

“Now.” He nodded. “But not here. In your room.”

My thoughts fluttered away like a flock of birds disturbed by a non existent cat. I opened the door and he closed it behind us. As much as I wasn't prepared for a situation like the one wreaking havoc in my chest, I couldn't pretend the fantasy was non existent.

“So?” I turned to face him and hoped I wasn't blushing like an idiot. “What did you want to ask?”

He swallowed and the glitter in his eyes faded slightly as he lowered them, fiddling with his sleeves. I suddenly had a very bad feeling about the nature of his question.

“Shizu … Is Ras telling the truth?”