* Off to be an Adventurer!

*

Not sure what to gather before leaving, I began to explore the room for adventuring clothes or a weapon—anything that Phyllis may have provided. I didn't find anything so obvious, but what I did discover was an empty closet hidden behind one of the built-in bookcases. And, while empty of clothes, it had something hanging from one of the wire hangers that lined the rod within—a necklace. 

Reaching in, I took hold of the sizeable pendant left for me and began to inspect its notable shape closely. The object was obviously an amulet of sorts, and as I looked over the tarnished bronze pendant, it quickly became apparent that it was one of those Cool-S shapes from the 90s.

Oh, hey, I remember drawing these in class. I thought to myself, pleasantly remembering childhood moments spent drawing on pieces of paper with friends. 

Suddenly, coming up against a mental block, I felt my body begin to shake, and my heart start to race. Recognizing the similar feeling I had experienced earlier, I decided to release my hold of the thought and return to reality.

With calming breaths, I continued examining the front of the object intently. I touched the iconography on its surface, eying the relief added to the metal, which was the faded image of an angelic-looking being. She wore Grecian robes, adorned with a halo of sunlight and carried a tome in her hand—A Goddess of the Emerald Pantheon.

“The Sunblessed Scholar?” I muttered.

She was the third of seven newly minted Gods and Goddesses from the time just before the last Great Cataclysm. She specifically oversaw all things related to daylight, academics, agriculture, and greed, but she was mostly known by another name.

“Goddess of Knowledge—sure, why not?” I spoke softly with a shrug, as I slipped the holy emblem over my head.

A wave of warmth suddenly pulsed through my body as an unusual knot settled in my chest. The sensation was strange and, oddly, arousing. It felt as though a sensual electricity surged through me, exciting every nerve like the moments before a climactic release. My body convulsed pleasurably as I felt the energy wash over while doing my best to contain the growing excitement that revealed itself as much externally as it did internally. 

Finally, after the moment passed and I craved a smoke of one of the cigarettes hidden away, I remembered Phyllis saying she had gifted me with some experience. Putting two and two together, I began to assume that she had powerleveled me through the first few Esserian Adventurer Ranks.

Based on the item left for me, I assumed I had been given the abilities of a Cleric of sorts. It made sense, being an Oracle of the Champion of a Dead Ruby God, in a true Phyllis multi-level marketing scheme of the age.

But really? Me? Religion? I thought, my mind flashing back to my years of religious upbringing and the late-stage resentment that I could feel locked away behind another wall.

With a sigh, I fiddled with the pendant. At least I got something. And that's better than nothing or worse...being mundane.

The average person in this world couldn’t become an adventurer. Even with magic, it was tough, but some people—the mundanes—could hardly be around the arcane, or else it would pollute their bodies and kill them. And, in a world filled with arcanz and hostile landscapes where magic was needed to survive, it made life increasingly difficult for the people, forcing them to remain within the limits of cities, towns and villages. 

For those who could use magic or displayed some level of martial capabilities they were able to travel beyond the boundaries of livable hubs and protected roads. These adventurers gained ranks from completing quests and slaying rogue beasts, which in turn allowed governments and guilds to gauge their power.

Through the guidance of magical schooling over the ages and the constantly evolving Adventurer’s Guild, the world had developed seven ranked levels, going from the starting point of 'F-Rank' all the way up to 'S'.

Like any good light novel, LitRPG, or videogame, everyone had to start at the bottom. New adventurers, young or old, fresh from their farms, military service, or whatever they did before beginning their adventuring, began at F-Rank. They handled small fetch quests and filled their time killing rats and bugs within the city limits before achieving a better grasp of their abilities and being able to move up to E-Rank.

Once adventurers moved into E-Rank, it was presumed they were no strangers to combat, so they were often sent on quests away from the city limits to practice slaying goblins or wild beasts. 

Ranking up in that stage took a little longer than F-Ranks and often required a quest to save an insignificant village from a curse or minor threat before moving up to D-Rank. Over this time, these minor heroes often caught the eye of benefactors who would further the adventurer's questing with financial compensation.

With the help of patrons, nobles and smaller governmental bodies, D-Rank adventurers traversed local regions. They were mostly hired for fighting tougher monsters like hobgoblins, trolls, or orcs and were sent off to the more inhospitable areas that would quickly kill lower ranks.

After some time travelling and killing on the dime of the region, many of the adventurers would push into the C-Ranks. At this point, most stopped adventuring and ended up being hired onto cushier jobs by their regional governments. They'll usually transitioned into specialized positions in leadership and teaching within the military or guilds found around Capital Cities.

But for those adventurers who continued down the exploration path instead of settling into government work, they slowly moved up into the B-Rank. At that stage, they spent most of their time and wealth searching the world for rumours, myths and lore that they could use to fight increasingly difficult foes. They'd would regularly find themselves travelling to the bottom of the sea, the heart of volcanoes or even other planes of existence within this cosmos.

Then came the A-Ranks. These adventurers spent their time hunting forgotten magics, slaying ancient monsters and parleying with Gods. Most people either retired before reaching this rank or died in the process of trying to achieve it. But for those who did, they were rarely called to service, except in rare instances to take on colossal titans, ferocious ancient dragons, and other world-ending threats.

Finally, standing at the highest peak of the Aventuring Rank pyramid were the S-ranked adventurers. These heroes of eras dedicated their lives to standing against fate and holding back the tides of Heaven and Hell. They harnessed the power to shape reality and bend the past, present, and future to their will. They've challenged entire armies without breaking a sweat and could cause even the mightiest dragons to flee in fear. And, at their apex, they mastered abilities that could kill gods, or, with the proper resources, even raise themselves to their level.

This was all to say that even though I knew the entire lore of this world, I was nowhere near S-Rank. But, based on the warmth I felt at my core while wearing the holy pendant, I’d hazard a guess that I was probably F-Ranked on the cusp of moving up to E-Rank. Which, for no sweat equity, was a good start.

And the only way to improve is by improving. I thought to myself.

Closing the empty closet, I tucked the pendant into the ratty clothes that I had spawned in. The blood and white goo stains from my bippity-boppity battle still remained on the fabric that was everything I owned. That, and of course, the magical Phyllis coupon that gave me carte blanche for all items under fifty gold pieces in her shop. This meant that even though I had nothing currently, with one trip to Phyllis' Phiner Phylactery, I could have everything I needed to begin my adventuring today.

"Alright. Well, I guess it's time then." I spoke softly, hyping myself up as I stepped towards the door Phyllis had initially arrived at.

As I did, I stopped, catching a glimpse of myself in the briefly in the bathroom mirror opposite me for the first time. With a gasp, I took in the new body I had stolen.

A good three to four inches shorter than I was, as Tahvin, Ishara stood just under six feet. I was lanky, malnourished, and, similar to my old body, lacked any defining musculature. My skin was significantly darker and more sun-damaged than Tahvin’s, which made sense as this body's original home had been located at the edge of a desert. 

The biggest surprise came when I examined my average-looking face and noticed that my hair was an achromatic snow-white mop, which was further contrasted by the set of piercing ruby-red eyes. While a typical Kalish look, the sight took me aback.

“Gods,” I muttered, leaning into the mirror and rubbing at my cheekbones. “When I wrote the Kalish, I didn’t realize how strange it would be to see yourself in a mirror. Oh well, it’s normal here, I guess. I'm probably going to see much weirder eventually.”

I gave my face a trio of smacks at the jawline before exhaling a nervous huff.

It was now time.

Exiting my room, I descended a claustrophobic set of stairs that spiralled downward. Eventually reaching the edge of my personal world I turned the knob of a second door and emerged through a secret exit hidden behind racks of cursed armour marked down by fifty percent. 

I had officially entered Phyllis’ Phiner Phylactery, the one-and-only magic shoppe allowed on the continent of Moal’aw. And, currently, it was a special week of sales thanks to ‘Back to School!’ at Al'Magi, or at least that’s what the red and gold banners hanging from every available surface told me.

Glancing around the space that smelled of grease and cigarette smoke, Phyllis’ shoppe was organized chaos to the extreme. It was as though a magical chocolate factory and fantasy tabletop game had a baby, which a hoarder then adopted and raised to be a capitalist.

Swords were being sold by the barrel, a soda fountain of various elixirs flashed bright, alluring colours, catwalks were fixed to the ceiling where magical armours defied gravity while strutting to show off the latest trends—at the end of the day, Phyllis’ store was the one-stop shop for everything magical.

“Hey, come back, Auxall'ir!” A teen, a few years older than the body I inhabited, giggled as she ran past in pursuit of her friend.

“The last one to the charms section is a dirty-mundane, Callannix!” The boy ahead taunted.

What the fug are those names? I initially thought as I watched the two run before recognizing what had been said. And what was that about dirty-mundane?

I understood that some people in this world were prejudiced, especially towards the unmagical mundane. After all, I wrote it that way. A realm of total peace and prosperity was unrealistic and, frankly, boring. But it didn’t mean that I enjoyed their existence, especially in my presence. But they were a necessary evil because, just as heroes needed villains, altruistic saviours needed elitist pricks to knock down a peg.

Watchout, kids...pigs get fat, and hogs get slaughtered. I watched them disappear around a corner as I pulled a slip of paper from my pocket. But that's not my problem. Time to shop!

With nothing but time to kill and a voucher for all the materials I could gather free of charge burning a hole in my pocket, it was time to stock up on gear to be an adventurer!

So I wandered the magical shop I had always dreamed of visiting. With an excited smile and eager eyes, I stared at all the expensive magical items I couldn't afford and thought of the day I could come back and buy the special dragon-slaying spears or magical rings that made me invisible. Unfortunately, that day was far away, and I had to adhere to items under the fifty gold limit—which wasn't much in Phyllis's shoppe. 

Moving around the store like a kid in a candy shop, I looked in bargain bins where I managed to find a set of gently used armour, a sword, and a shield that were all within the price range of my voucher. And that wasn’t all! There were plenty of other adventuring items I picked up while on the hunt, like rope and climbing tools, a backpack, tent, bedroll, a crowbar, and a canteen, all of those wonderful tools for adventuring alone that I had written into my story after researching camping supplies for a summer trip as Tahvin. 

But if I were going to stay out of the way of people and not influence this world, I would need some form of magical backup plan for my solo levelling. This was why I also filled my shopping cart with enough on-sale peppermint-flavoured healing potions I could get.

I grabbed dozens of marked-down small potion bottles that now fit the voucher parameters. With elbows out, I hogged the machine, only stopping once it began to sputter out of carbonation. Briefly noticing that the potions had shifted through different shades of red, I decided I had gathered enough and rushed my haul to the counter, where Phyllis was cashing people out.

“Do you really need that many?” Phyllis asked me as the bottles clanked to the cash wrap counter. “Like, wow, I probably need to put more magical healing syrup in the machine now, huh?”

“Never know when you’ll need one,” I said with a smile as I handed over the ticket stub that would get me my one time freebie purchase. “Right?”

“I mean, I guess. Leave it to someone from World Eighty-Two to believe in consumerism and excess. Screw everyone else, right? Anywho, if this is all you want, done and done!”

Taking the ticket, Phyllis snapped her fingers, and it disappeared in a puff of pink smoke. 

"Here, take this too." She reached under the counter and handed me an identification card with my picture and name, as well as a pouch no bigger than a pant pocket.

I knew what the bag was. It was a Phyllis Brand Bottomless Bag TM, which could hold unlimited items in a small exoplane. With it, I could carry everything I bought today and gathered over the next lifetime on my hip with little to no weight. Typically around five hundred gold pieces a bag, it was a hell of a signing bonus perk.

But, as for the second item, I had no idea.

"What's this?"

"It's a student badge. I figured you'd want to go and hit on some university girls. Get that wanker wet. So, I forged an identification card with administrator clearance."

"Wow...Phyllis, I—"

"I know, I'm amazing. Now move along, I've got paying customers waiting!"

Shooing me away, I stepped to the side and brushed all the items I had collected into the Bottomless Bag before looking for an available fitting room. Moving into a side alcove meant for exactly that purpose, I donned my new brown, cotton trousers and ye' olde creme coloured Henley before suiting up in full leather armour. After affixing the short sword to my hip and shield to my back, I admired myself in the foggy mirror.

"Badass!" I exclaimed.

I’d always wondered what leather armour would feel like and, spoiler, it wasn’t comfortable. But I looked like a real adventurer from a video game or hardcore LARPing group now! So, that was exciting enough to make the extra weight worth it.

That was when I heard it, a trio of voices talking with Phyllis nearby.

Peeking my head out from the dressing room, I caught sight of something beautiful. Standing a safe distance away were the future Heroes of Esseria. Three young adventurers just beginning their many years of travel together. They didn’t know it yet, but today would begin a journey that culminated in them slaying a horrid parasitic lich and ending the doomsday cult that had kept Esseria locked in eternal conflict for millennia.

“Yes, children. Always shop with Phyllis, I have everything you could ever wish for.” Phyllis, who was also acutely aware of their destiny, said as she cozied up to them.

“What about Madam Murdoch’s store across the way?” The small turtle-boy asked, his purple face looking forward bashfully as it barely poked from his brown shell.

“Maaaaaadam Muuuuuuurdoch!?” Phyllis bellowed, her voice shaking the store and flinging open the saloon doors that led outside.

That’s my cue! I thought as I snuck behind the panicking baby heroes and through the opening.

I couldn’t let them see me. That was important and story relevant. But it was also finally my time to explore!