Patron Saint of Civilian Casualties

“Toki, thank god, you had me worried sic- what the hell is she doing here?!”

All things considered, Time’s reaction was more subdued than I expected.

“Hey! Time, ol’ buddy, ol’ pal!” Fujiko stepped into the apartment with her arms spread wide.

“Witch!” Time hissed and crab-stanced. I half-thought she was about to claw Fuji’s eyes out.

“Easy, girl. We scrapped a bit, but Fuji’s agreed to help us. She’s not a threat.”

“Like hell she isn’t! Are you forgetting about that eye of yours? Y’know, the one she cut in half!”

“Of course not, but are you forgetting that we need every bit of help we can get? We’re just a little bit outnumbered here, Time.”

“So you invited the Patron Saint of Civilian Casualties?!”

“Crown princess of electric power!”

“Lord above, do you people have no sense of your surroundings,” sighed Ryou, entering behind us. “This is not exactly a gated community, do you have any idea who exactly could be listening?”

“Ah- sorry, Ryou, you’re right,” said Time, relaxing from her defensive posture a tad. “We’ll try and keep it down a lit- rat!” she immediately hissed and re-took her stance the second she spotted a certain sparking yellow cat waltz in through the door.

“Tha’ any wey tae treat an auld friend, Time? Ye wound me, lass.”

“Spark yourself off a cliff, Electron.”

“Time!”

“Toki, you can’t be serious about working with these maniacs again. After what they did to you?”

“Look, Time, I’m not gonna pretend I’ve totally forgiven everything that happened, but we’re facing the entire establishment that this country is built on, and Fuji is the single strongest person I know. Would you not rather make a friend of her than an enemy?”

Time looked me in the eyes, clearly still not fully convinced, but eventually she relented and relaxed again.

“Fine, I’ll put up with them for now. Besides, I need to hear your report on events. What happened there? How’d you end up with the Fuhrer of Friendly Fire?”

“Princess of electric power!”

“Gesundheit. Anyway, Toki, what happened there? Did you get that data you went for?”

“...well…”

“Ehe…”

“...Something tells me I’m not gonna like this story.”

***

“So you mean to tell me… you broke into the most heavily guarded place in Japan… for the sole purpose of retrieving this data… and she wiped it all out?!”

“That’s about the half of it, yeah.”

“And you wanna bring this Monarch of Mass Devastation our missions?!”

“It’s Crown Princess of Electri- wait, that one’s actually pretty cool.”

“Look, TIme, it’s an unfortunate setback, I know, b-”

“No buts! She’s a menace! A liability! Having her around is gonna cause nothing but problems!”

“We can still use her skillset, just give her a chance, Time.”

“And what about when she backstabs you again? Gonna be hard to give her a third chance when you’ve got W’s skewer in your gut.”

“Hey, watch your tongue, cat,” sneered Fujiko. “I may not be perfect, but I ain’t want nothin’ to do with those bastards. I’d sooner spit on the grave of my dead mother than work with them.”

“Your mother is alive, Fuji.”

“Shut it, Toki, I’m tryna make a point here.”

Time looked back and forth between Fujiko and me, sighed, turned her back to us and began walking away.

“Y’know what, Toki? Fine,” she said, stopping for a moment. “You wanna give a second chance to this electric lunatic? Be my guest. But don’t come crying to me when the Baroness of Betrayal screws you over again.”

“It’s Princess of Electric Pow- oh, forget it. I know when I’m not wanted.” While Time continued walking towards Ryou’s room, Fuji turned to the door. “I’ll see you ‘round, Toki.”

“Dammit, both of you, wai-”

I was cut off by two doors slamming at once.

Ahhh… what a mess it had become.