What I love most

It had been one week to the day since our fight with Z and W.

The time had finally arrived to face down Aki.

“You nervous?”

My fidgeting with the belt under my cloak was interrupted by the arrival of someone standing in the doorway of my room.

“‘Course I’m nervous, Fuji. How could I not be? There’s a nineteen out of twenty chance I’m walking straight to my death, and dragging the three of you with me.”

“Better hope you roll that natural twenty, then.”

I rolled my eyes at her and went back to trying to mount the stupid fucking sword on the stupid fucking belt. Stupid fucking fuck. Shit.

“Having some trouble there?” she cackled from the doorway.

“Woman, did you come here for a reason or are you trying to piss me off?”

“Hmm, bit of both,” she said, grinning. “‘Sides, you said it yourself, we might not make it out alive today. May as well enjoy the time while we’ve got it.”

“So you’d like to spend your last few hours on Earth driving me bloody loopy?”

“I’d like to die doing what I love most, yes.”

“God, you’re a tosspot sometimes.”

I finally managed to get the damn thing fastened as I sighed at the predictably annoying temperament of my predictably annoying partner. Well, as much as I could complain until the end of days, I’d be lying if I said her presence didn’t calm me down a little. Surprising, I know, since ‘calming’ is the absolute last word that should ever be used to describe the electric menace.

“...hey, Fuji?”

“Yeah?”

“Got any regrets? Stuff that you’re sad you might never get to do now?”

“What is this, a eulogy? We ain’t even at the damn tower yet, don’t go throwing in the towel already.”

“That’s not what I’m getting at. I just mean… like… we’re 23, but I don’t feel like I’ve had a chance to have 23 years worth of experiences. Between being under the corpos and then being on the run, there’s tonnes of shit I’ve never got to do. Hell, I’ve never even left Japan. And now that we’re about to face down our worst enemy yet, I’m starting to regret never giving any of that stuff a try. Do you… have anything like that?”

“Hmm…” she put her finger on her chin and leaned into the doorframe. “Honestly, I’m pretty happy with my life. If I had taken time out to travel or whatever, I wouldn’t have been able to pay for mum’s treatment, so it’s not like I really had the choice either way. And I enjoyed my job. I mean, I literally got to blow shit up for a career, what’s not to love?”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Then why do you sound so hesitant when you say that?”

Fuji tensed up and averted her gaze. It seemed like she was really hoping I wouldn’t call her out on it. I almost considered letting it go, but this could truly be my last chance to hear what’s really on her mind. I had to hear it.

“...there is one thing,” she said, after much hesitation.

“Yeah? What is it?” I asked. She didn’t say anything. All she did was move her arm, and point her finger at her right eye. “...oh.”

“Three years, you and I were apart. A thousand-or-so days that I could have spent with you, and I didn’t get to. All ‘cos I wouldn’t listen to you when it mattered. All ‘cos of a fight I started. If I could go back and do it all over again, that’s the one damn thing I’d change. No splashing money on skydiving or some stupid shit like that. I don’t need it. I just wish I could make up for that time we lost.”

Her mood seemed to shift down dramatically from when she first got there. I almost regretted asking the question when I saw that look on her face. But, even so, I was glad I did. In the chaos that had happened recently, it didn’t feel like she and I had had much of a chance to talk things through properly. I was glad I got to hear it before the end.

…The end.

No. Why was I acting like we had already lost? Am I a coward?

“...We’ll make up for that lost time,” I said, and Fujiko turned her head towards me. “We’ll make up for all that time and then some. Ten years, twenty years, fifty, however long we can. After we kick Aki’s ass to the curb where it belongs. We’ve got all the time in the world to be together, to make sure those measly three years are nothing more than a footnote. We’ll win this bastard war and spend the rest of our lives together, yeah?”

Fuji stared at me open mouthed for a second, as if I had genuinely caught her off guard. But a moment later, her expression twisted to a massive grin.

“Ha! You do know the fast lane to a girl’s heart, don’t you? Damn near sounded like a proposal.”

“It was.”

“Eh-”

Her expression flipped straight back to open-mouthed confusion. She tried a few times to say something, but simply stuttered over the first word over and over again and gave up. I didn’t speak or move. I wanted to give her time to respond without giving her an easy out.

“We’re to leave in less than a minute, dear girls, if you’re quite done chatting amongst yourselves,” called Ryou from down the hall.

“Ah- I’m comin’, Ryou!”

She practically bolted out of the room without another word.

Guess I was gonna have to wait a little longer for my answer.

After it was all over.

After we won.