The Sun Sets

One week later - 9:00 PM

Nagase lays in her yard, the grass under her cooling her skin even while its sharp edges cut at her. Slowing inhaling and exhaling she can almost pretend that she's the only one left in the world. 

She smiles. "Hey mom"

Nagase's mom gasps.

"How'd you know I was out here?"

"I heard you a few minutes ago, come lay with me."

Nagase can hear her mom shuffle over and her slight grunt as she lays down.

"Why are you out here this late at night?"

Nagase sighs. "I just needed some air and a space to think, and..."

"And?"

"N-nothing." She says quickly.

Her mom pauses, apparently waiting for her to change her mind.

"I don't know how you do it Nagase."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you are so strong. Ever since what happened, I've always felt like I needed to be strong for you so you don't lose hope. How foolish I was, you are much stronger then I am."

Nagase smiles. "You don't give yourself enough credit mom, I clearly got it from you."

They both laugh for a few seconds but quickly it fades and lingers into the still night.

"I'm out here because I wanted to look at the stars." Nagase suddenly says.

"But you ca-"

"I know.."

The silence lingers again for a minute.

"Even if I cant see them, I just want to know they're still there. to know the stars still illuminate the world around me. To know their glow still reflects off me, even if I can no longer take in their light."

They both pause.

"I'm so sorry." Her mom says clearly trying to hold back tears. 

"It's not your fault mom." 

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The next morning Nagase wakes up to her mom knocking on her door.

She jolts and slowly rubs her face. 

The warmth of the sun that used to hit her body is no longer there, replaced by a cold breeze seeping through her window she left cracked open.

"Good morning sleepy head, its time to go to school."

Nagase groans, still not used to getting up so early.

"Coming." She says grumbling through her pillow. 

Her dread towards going to school has lessened over the week, but that's mostly because everyone pretty much has left her. 

A few minutes later Nagase walks slowly into the living room. She's gotten used to the new house enough to have a pretty good idea of the layout.

"Morning mother." Nagase says unenthusiastically. 

"Good morning Nagase." Her mother says mockingly in the same tone.

Nagase cant help but smile a little. She's happy her mom is ok after last night. 

"You about ready to go hun? I got your lunch packed."

"Yep, ready when you are. I got my stuff."

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When they get to the school Nagase meets up with the teacher that's supposed to walk her around the school. They've never really had a conversation or even exchanged names which was just fine to her.

She gets taken to her class and as she sits down she knows Akiko is probably staring at her wanting to start a conversation.

Nagase sighs. 

"Good morning Akiko."

"good morning Nagase! How'd you sleep? Good? I certainly did. Did you have any dreams? I didn't sadly. Are you excited for the weekend? I am!" 

This went on for a solid minute.

Nagase had quickly learned that Akiko loved to talk and had long since decided to just let her ramble.

Akiko apparently realizing this suddenly stopped.

"I'm sorry, I did it again didn't I?"

Nagase smiles "Its ok Akiko. I slept well."

More slowly this time Akiko asks, "So do you want to hang out this weekend? I could show you around."

Nagase takes a second to think,  "I don't really want to leave the house, but you can come over if you want."

Akiko apparently just happy that she got Nagase to say yes wraps her around her.

"Awesome!"

Nagase freezes, not quite sure how to respond to this. It's not often that people embrace her, but Akiko despite her many flaws knows how to give a comforting hug.

"Ha-ha, yea. I'll tell you my address later." Nagase says awkwardly.

'Something is off about Akiko' Nagase thinks to herself

The rest of the day flies by. Nagase feeling like a passenger on a train that she cant control. Just going down set tracks into the horizon that never seems to come.  

When school ends and her mom picks her up she can't help but get lost in her own thoughts again without even knowing what she's thinking about.

Her mom finally breaks the silence. "So how was school?' 

"It was ok I guess."

Concern floods in her moms' voice. "Whats wrong?"

"N-Nothing. Just have a lot on my mind that's all. Oh by the way, do you mind if a friend comes over tomorrow?"

Nagase's mom gasps with surprise. "A friend? Absolutely! I'm so happy you're making friends so quickly!"

Nagase curls up out of embarrassment. "It's not like that mom, it was their idea anyway."

"Oh don't be like that, you're just like your fa-"

There's a pause

"I mean, you don't have to pretend you're not excited hun. I can read you like a book."

Nagase says nothing for a few minutes.

"I guess maybe I am."

The car comes to a slow stop and Nagase steps outside.

The cold bitter wind from the morning still pierced the air around her. The sun still unable to reach her and the distant rumbling of thunder foreshadows a storm soon to come. 

They head inside and Nagase goes straight to her room and sits on her bed. 

Light splatters of rain begin to hit the window. 

Leaning her head against the wall she can hear and almost feel the rain hit the side of the house. 

Sitting there for what feels like hours Nagase feels at peace and relaxed like the world has gone completely still except for the constant flow of the rain.

She lays her head on her hand and with the other begins tracing the edges of her ear like her mom used to when she was little. Her short hair grazing the tops of her finger.

She never really cared much about her hair, but the freedom of keeping it short always won out. 

She slowly brings her fingers around to the front of her face making small circles but stops suddenly.

Taking a deep breath she feels her left eyebrow rustling the hairs as she glides her finger over them. Then going back again, smoothing them out over her head. 

Then with three fingers Nagase goes down and feels her eye.

She never got used to how it felt after the surgery even after all these years.