Chapter 1:

My New Life (I Didn't Die or Anything Though)

I Was Just a Lonely Weeaboo Until I Learned That I Am Actually a Descendant of an Ancient Japanese Family


Mrs. Fischer ran down the basement stairs clutching a piece of paper, "James, we're rich!"Bookmark here

"Mom, what are you talking about? I'm in the middle of a game."Bookmark here

"This letter! It says that you're a descendant of a rich family and they want you to go meet them!"Bookmark here

"That's definitely a scam. Just throw it away," James said as he put his headphones back on. Bookmark here

Mrs. Fischer walked over to her son and lifted up his headphones, "If it was really a scam, then why would they send you a sword?"Bookmark here

"Wait... That letter came with the sword?!" James said, now remembering the letter he ignored at the bottom of the sword package. Bookmark here

"Yes! It can't be a scam!" his mom said. Bookmark here

"I'll be right back guys, gotta talk to my mom," James told his online friends as he muted his mic, "That's what they want you to think. The sword is probably worthless, and just placed as bait to get people to fall for the scam."Bookmark here

"Just read the letter," Mrs. Fisher said, pushing the paper towards James. Bookmark here

"Fine." James reluctantly took the letter. Bookmark here


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Dear Mr. James Fischer, Bookmark here

We have recently discovered a new line of the Rokujou family originating around the year 1786. Your great-great-great-grandfather, Rokujou Nichiyama, had an illegitimate child who ended up being swapped for Nichimiya's legitimate child, a.k.a. your great-great-grandfather, Rokujou Moriyasu. Basically, we have found out that the ancestral line after Nichiyama are all illegitimate, and you are actually descendant of the legitimate line. You are a Rokujou, in short. You are also the last surviving member of the legitimate Nichimiya line. We know this is very sudden, but we would love if you would come to Japan and rejoin the family. Please inquire with us at the attached phone number so we can get you situated. We are also aware that you are a family man, so you can bring them along as well and we will pay for your living expenses until you have a sustainable income with us.Bookmark here

-Rokujou Daisuke, Rokujou Family PatriarchBookmark here


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"This is bullshit. They're trying to entice us to go to Japan since I'm a weeb," James said, "I guarantee there's some Indian scammer guy on the phone number who's gonna try to gather your credit card info." He crumpled up the paper and threw it at one of his glass figure display cases where it then bounced to the floor. Bookmark here

"I guess you do know more about this scam stuff than I do..." his mom said. Bookmark here

"Don't worry, I always know how to detect scams," James said as he put his headphones back on. Bookmark here


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Two weeks later, a man with black hair, black aviators, and a black suit arrived at their home. Bookmark here

"I'm looking for a James Fischer," he said. Bookmark here

"Jaaaaaaaames, someone's here for you!" Mrs. Fischer yelled. Bookmark here

"Coming," James grunted. Bookmark here

As he reached the top of the basement stairs with the front door in view, he froze. Bookmark here

"Oh shit!" he yelled and ran downstairs as fast as possible. Bookmark here

"James, what's the matter?" Mrs. Fischer said, "I'll be right back, sir," she said as she ran after James. Bookmark here

Down in the basement, James was stashing something under his bed while simultaneously deleting hundreds of files off of his computer. Bookmark here

"The FBI is here for my hentai, the FBI is here for my hentai!" James silently repeated to himself over and over.Bookmark here

"James, what are you doing? You have a guest!"Bookmark here

"I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME!" James screamed as he started crying dramatically. Bookmark here

"Come upstairs this instant!" his mother said, "You can't hide down here forever!" She grabbed onto James's arms and dragged him towards the stairs. Bookmark here

"NOOOO! I DON'T WANNA GO TO JAIL!"Bookmark here

"What are you talking about?! Why would you be going to jail?!" Bookmark here

James continued to scream and cry as his mother dragged him upstairs and to the door. Bookmark here

She opened the door back up, "Sorry about that sir, he's here now."Bookmark here

"Apologies if I'm interrupting something," the man said with an obvious Japanese accent, "The Rokujou Family sent a letter to this house a while ago and we were wondering if you got it." Bookmark here

James stopped crying when he heard the man's words. His head turned downwards and his hair covered his eyes. Bookmark here

"You... I deleted all of my hentai... Because of you... It's all gone... Because of you!" James's face became furious as he jumped at the visitor in a fit of rage. Bookmark here

Mrs. Fischer grabbed the back of her son's shirt before he reached the man, yet he continued to claw and punch the air in the man's direction. Bookmark here

"6 years... It took 6 years... 6 years to build up that collection!" Bookmark here

"James, calm down and listen to our guest!" Mrs. Fischer sternly said. 
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"I assure you that I am not hentai, sir," said the visitor, "I am just a messenger from the Rokujou Family."Bookmark here

"Wait... Didn't I get a sword from the Rokujou Family a while back...?" James thought out loud as he stopped trying to fight. He stood up and faced the man with a serious expression, "So you're saying I can go to Japan, right? Let's go then," James said tauntingly.  Bookmark here

"Very well. Let us go to the airport then," the visitor responded. Bookmark here

"You sure changed attitudes quickly when you realized you get to go to Japan," Mrs. Fischer pointed out. Bookmark here


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James and his mother packed two suitcases with some living essentials and loaded them into the back of their visitor's expensive-looking rental car. Bookmark here

"If we end up getting kidnapped, it's your fault," James said to his mom as they got into the back seat of the car. Bookmark here

"Who would kidnap us?" Mrs. Fischer said back. Bookmark here

"Oh, there are many people that would love to have my head." Bookmark here

"Do you need to tell me something, James?" she said, concerned, as the car started moving. Bookmark here

Bookmarked
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