who I am is not who I want to be
31st October 2020:
For the whole night, I could protect her. If she was able to protect herself from the numerous entities lurking in eve corner of this town, ready to pounce on her any moment, even then I would never leave her alone. The serious air surrounding me abruptly disappeared as Akane gave me a cup of coffee,
Akane: "You can go home and rest. I am fine. Saho won't be able to kill me."
" We should report about Saho right now. I am not willing to leave you alone." I said to her.
"If you will ask the police to help you. You'll be safe then."
Akane paused for a mere moment, reducing the bone-chilling grin to a small tilted smirk as she stared at me with a set of glimmering blue eyes.
Akane: "You'll be my help. I don't need police. I need you to help me. With your brain, with your hands."
I was rubbing my freezing hands nervously, I tucked them inside the pockets of my oversized sweater, clenching the soft wool in my whitening knuckles, holding them close to my dropping stomach before taking them out once again to wrap them around my profusely shivering self. A cool gust of early winter wind suddenly swooshed past me, fluffing through the fabric of my clothes, making me clench the flesh on my arm with an even tighter grip.
Akane: "Do you want a blanket?"
"It's okay!! It's fine."
Mumbling to myself in a low voice,
A sour look washed over my face followed closely by a mocking smile as I started laughing silently to myself at the irony of the situation.
" There is no way I can say No. I can do anything to help you.
What is it that you want?"
Without Karma's existence in my life, my life was incomplete. Everything delightful in my memories belonged to her. The best of this town had ever given me was her. The mere imagination of a life without her was enough to send shivers down my spine.
Suddenly she stood up and told me to go and get some rest.
"I guess it's getting late. You should go and get some rest. I will tell you how can you protect me from Saho, but first you should get some rest."
It was almost 01:25 A.M. I stood up from there and went to my home.
Karma was supposed to be sleeping at 2:30 AM. She could not bring herself to get some sleep, It was just too hard. She checked her phone a couple of times before placing it down under her pillow. After she finished checking her phone, she set an alarm and placed her phone under her pillow. Karma checked the clock.
3:30 A.M. Fifteen more minutes before his Uncle Eiji came and gave her the news that she is about to reach her goal. Well, that's not quite true, because Saho is still left unharmed. Everything was about to change. It was when she got the guts to face her father. Akane checked her phone for the last time and went to the bathroom.
She heard "toot .... toot... toot..." She rushed toward her phone and picked the phone call.
" Uncle Eiji!!! Is Everything fine?
Why are you calling at this time?"
(No sound!! Silence!!)
The call dropped off.
After five minutes, she received another call from an unknown number. She did not pick the call because she could not stand responding to unknown people anymore.
The vibrating sound of knuckles pounding against the wooden door of her home penetrates through the walls. All of a sudden, she heard the noise coming from her front door. Terror stabbed her heart.
Slowly, She placed her phone on the table, turned the light on, and lean closer to the wall to make sure that she is not imagining the sound.
The unmistakable noise indicating someone’s presence at the front door
She wondered who it is? Could it be Zack? No, no, can’t be him. He would have called before coming. He knows better.
Should I open the door?
Karma said to herself.
She could feel nothing but blind terror.
She opened the back door and walked from the backyard to the front. She checked her wristwatch.
3:45. At exactly 3:45, a person was standing in front of her door. Karma started to sweat with nervousness. Fear paralyzed her. The man was holding some papers in his hand. The man apologized and turned his face toward Karma.
She was so hoping that she should run toward the back door and get inside her home. The man moved toward her.
She seemed frightened.
She heard Eiji's voice
“What are you doing? You did not pick my phone call. Why do you never recognize me at first sight?”
“Let's go inside!”
Karma slapped her face in frustration, realizing that she was facing the old trauma again. Eiji again apologized for coming this much late and both went inside the home. She despises herself for not recognizing Uncle Eiji. Karma was so hoping that she wouldn't have to face this trauma if she will get her revenge. Akane quickly grabbed her phone from the table and inquired Eiji.
Akane: "I was wondering if this number belongs to you."
Eiji: "Yeah, This number belongs to me."
Akane: "Why are you here at this time?"
Eiji: "I am here to warn you. I have found these documents. It says half of the property belongs to you. It has your mother's signature on it, and the month mentioned on these papers is the same as the month when your mother died."
Both Karma and Eiji could hear a sound like the crackling of the ice buckling from the kitchen. The glass crumbled shrieking its own melodramatic song as it scattered into thousands of pieces.
Hazel throws a glass in the kitchen. Karma slammed the kitchen door and knocked Hazel out of the kitchen. Her palms were beginning to sweat.
Karma was able to feel the tension growing when she came back to Eiji after knocking Hazel out. Two other glasses were already broken by Hazel on that day there. The property that her mother named after Akane was large. She hesitates to believe it.
Akane: "She never loved me, so why will she do it?"
"I refuse to believe it. Even if it is true, I don't have any interest in the money that she gave me. "
"Are you planning to hide for your whole life?"
"Don't you want to clear your name?"
" Don't you want to live freely after taking your revenge?"
"OK, now think of what you want your future to be like," Eiji said.
Karma thought long and hard. How does she want her father to suffer? How does she want to make him pay?
Karma: "It does not matter. All I want right now is revenge."
"I've already told you, I just want revenge as soon as possible
before my father finds out about me."
I robbed your father," Eiji laughed jovially and pulled out a wallet full of cash.
Quietly Karma said: "I want to burn his house down. I don't want his money."
Eiji: "Is that what you need?"
Karma nodded her head in disapproval.
"That is not what I need, but this is exactly what I want. Just do what I say and make these videos publicly available. I want everyone to see how my father has killed my grandma."
Eiji: "Give me some time. I have asked my news broadcaster friend to help me. I will do it at the right time."
Akane: Are you even gonna help me or not? Why are you taking so long? Return me the evidence that I captured. I will make it available to the public on my own.
Eiji: Don't rush!!
Let me find some evidence that can clear your name. I want everyone to know that you are innocent. You haven't killed your mother.
Akane: The sight of you makes me want to vomit! You are a liar. You just want money. That is why you found those documents. You want to use me for money.
Akane pressed her lips together in irritation and shouted at Eiji.
Return the evidence that I captured!!!
I will let the world know about it right now!!!
Eiji: You have lost your mind. Give me few more days. I am trying to find evidence that can clear your name.
You only want the money that is attached to my name.
Eiji rubbed his eyes, slammed the door, and left the house from the front door without saying a word at 4:24 am.
1st November 2020:
It was 4:24 am. Akane found herself discouraged, feeling like she would never get revenge.
Her brain had too many tabs open, and it was exhausting. All the tabs were making her feel insecure.
For her, there was nothing worse than feeling dependent on others helping her out. She hated the fact that she was feeling dependent because, in all honesty, she was dependent on a lot of things she was not able to control.
She was unable to ruin his father's reputation without Eiji. She could not approach Saho without my help.
She saw, lot of dependence.
Akane spoke to herself:
"Don't you for a second think that you are dependent or bratty, demanding them to do these things for yourself. I am most definitely not the only one who has a brain with too many insecurities."
She got a sweater for herself. She did not want to catch a cold.
It was 4:30 am. She went to the basement of the house and brought petrol cans. She put her cap and mask on her face. In the backyard of the house where Eiji left his car.
She took the car that Eiji left. She started to drive far from home.
She was heading the car toward the place where she never wants to go again. A place she left five years ago.
Her eyes widen more in fear, She looked at herself in the car side window glass.
For once, Careless attitude. Dark thoughts clouded her mind. It was very unpleasant to be around. To be around the area where her father lived, to be around her childhood home.
Should I be scared? She said to herself.
At 5:45 am, she reached where she spent her childhood. After 5 years she was again seeing that place.
She took a deep breath and waited for ten minutes, and observed the surrounding. She was hoping and praying that no one will catch her.
She parked her car away from the house into the woods and walked toward her home. She grabbed the bag in which she was carrying petrol cans.
She successfully sneaked into her home from a window that was attached to a bathroom.
She dropped her bag in the bathroom and stepped into her old room. Every step she took, the creaks in the floorboards got louder. She missed her room for five years. It was big, and a beautiful room.
She looked under the window above where her desk used to be.
She was able to see a carving of the letters:
"AKANE and SAHO best friends forever."
Saho and She together carved them when they were friends in childhood.
She rolled her eyes and grabbed a sketchbook under the table. She went back to the bathroom and grabbed her bag, and took out the petrol cans.
She started to spread the petrol in the living room and everywhere in the house. She felt as if the petrol is not enough to burn the whole house down. She went to the storeroom and found petrol cans there. She started to spread more petrol. It took her 15 minutes to fill the whole floor with petrol. She was breathing heavily. She emptied the last petrol can and turned behind to see that the door behind her is no longer closed.
She can hear someone clapping for her.
"You shouldn't do that." A cold hand laid on her shoulder, and she glared at herself in the mirror on the left side, slowly she turned her eyes above and saw the person behind her. Her heart leaped into her throat as she saw her father standing behind her.
Fear fluttered in her stomach.
She bit her hand so hard that it started to bleed a little bit. She was able to move. Without the delay of a single second. She punched her father in his face.
Her fist met its target. Again and again, she threw all of her weight into her punches. For a solid two minutes, she pounded Mr.Manzo of her frustrations. Once she was satisfied, and with sweat dripping off her forehead, she stopped.
"God, you don't go easy on yourself do you, girl?" Mr.Manzo, her father, asked, impressed by how energetic her daughter could be.
Mr.Manzo stood up and smacked her daughter's face in the mirror on the left side.
She was dragged in a corner while she was bleeding. She had her knees brought to her chest with her hair falling around her face. She heard her daddy yelling at her. As She sat there bleeding. Fear gripped her as she realized that her dad is about to kill her. She pushed her frail body against the wall, hoping that it would protect her somehow. Her dad was looking at her with pity.
He smirked when he saw the fear etched in her. "Are you scared of me, My one and only daughter?" he asked while taking a step closer to her. Akane showed aggression and yelled at her father.
I am not!!
His smirk grew and he took two steps and was already in front of her.
"You should be," he whispered before he grabbed her hair. Using her hair, he pulled her to her feet. She screamed in both pain and fear as he pulled through the stairs.
" Stop it, Bastard!" She screamed as they reached the basement.
"Oh my God! Why can't you just be quiet for once? I have to do this every time!" He grumbled grabbing some duct tape off the table.
He let go of her hair and quickly put a few pieces on her mouth. He grabbed her hair again and took a knife out. Tears fell down her face as he took the knife out.
Suddenly He dropped the knife, and fell to the ground, next to her. Eiji stabbed him in the back then kicked Mr.Manzo and yelled," Leave her alone! It better be a good or I'll beat you ten times worse!"
Eiji picked a petrol can and threw the petrol on Mr. Manzo.
"Get up!" Eiji yelled at Akane.
She closed her eyes.
"Runaway!" Eiji yelled at Akane.
"I will start the fire!" He yelled as he pulled a lighter out from his pocket.
Akane stood up on her feet. She ran as fast as she could. She was trembling. She ran toward the woods where she left her car.
She turned her back and saw flames emerging from the house. She started to drive away from the woods, following a different path than she followed before. Eiji disappeared somewhere after burning the house down and making sure that Mr. Manzo is dead. Eiji could not afford to let him live and get Akane killed by her father.
She came back home and turned the lights on to find the kit to treat her wounds. She sat in front of a mirror and tried to clean her wounds. Without completely treating her wounds, she stood up and went to see Hazel. Her cat was sleeping in peace. She switched on her phone to contact Eiji. She saw the message she received from Eiji in which he informed her about the money that he left in the basement of her house that belonged to her.
She tried to call him.
(This contact is no longer available)
displayed on her screen.
She felt nervous as she looked outside the window. She heard people discussing about Mr.Manzo.
She instantly switched on her tv and saw the clip available everywhere in which Mr.Manzo killed Akane's grandma. Before coming to Mr. Manzo's home Eiji already made that clip publicly available. Everyone was seeing Mr.Manzo as a sinister and murderer. Everywhere she switched the channel; she saw everyone talking against her father. Officially her father was proved to be a bad guy.
A sense of elation, happiness, and perhaps even exhilaration was on Akane's face.
Never had a few moments deliberation seemed like an eternity as she felt her consciousness ebbing away, and her thoughts, as clear and concise as they were mere moments ago. Her thoughts were coming to an end. Her eyes grew heavy from the strenuous effects of excessive agitation of the brain. At once, She was struck with incoherence, an inconsistency to her thoughts, as she kneeled down and leaned a shoulder against the wall. She stood up and went to the bed where hazel was sleeping. She lay down with her and fall asleep.
(Features of Eiji:
Hair: He had rough, brown hair. His hair was resting on the top of the ears, come to both sides, split over the right eye with some lonely straws pinching his nose.
Hair Texture: Rough
Descriptive Hair Color: Burnt umber/brown
Skin Tone: Ivory
Characteristics of skin tone: Porcelain to light skin color, without or with minor imperfections, sensitive, and could easily burn under the sun
Cheeks: rough cheeks
Chin: Cleft chin
Jaw: Jaw narrowed )