Chapter 23:

I Want to be an Actress

Diary of a Lost Wish

Yesterday felt like an awful day, but at least everyone's fine. Today I will go to talk with Kanako to tell her about the demons.

Before I go I make a wish, “Pakya, I wish that my mother comes back to life.”

“You can't wish for that, Pakya~”

I knew it would be impossible but there was a possibility it was my first wish, but it seems that it's not.

Today I'm wearing the headband that Kanako gifted me yesterday.

When I get out of my home, my father stops me, “Meiko, don't go out, it's dangerous outside.”

“Don't worry dad, I will be fine.”

“But what if someone evil wants to hurt you?” he calms down “you're right. I'm sorry, what happened yesterday was my fault, I should have stayed quiet.”

“Yeah, but at least you didn't have a bad intention, and I'm sure you were worried about me for being with strangers.”

“I will always care for you. Take care of yourself, if you need something, call me.”

On my way to Kanako's house, I receive a message from Yukino saying she's sorry for telling Kanako about the demon. I already told her that it wasn't a problem, so I invited her to eat something tomorrow to talk to her and let her know I'm not angry at her.

Finally, I arrive at Kanako's home, I knocked on the door, and she let me in. We are in her living room.

I feel like there's tension, so I try to talk first, “I'm sorry I never told you about the demons and everything I was going through.”

She hugs me and starts talking, “No, I'm the one that should be apologizing, I never noticed your struggle. If I can help you in any way, you can tell me.”

“Thanks, I thought maybe if I told you or anyone else, then you all would be worried about me, or even worst, maybe the demon might hurt you.“

Kanako stops hugging me and takes some tea from the table, “I understand, but I feel bad I never noticed anything. So the unusual things like b-chan were created by one of your wishes?”

“That's right, even my home was a wish. I'm trying to find the first wish I made so I can stop this curse, also by doing that, Pakya, the demon, will be liberated.”

“You have any clue or something that might help you?”

I explained everything I found so far.

“Oh, so that's why some time ago you asked about a black-haired man. Sorry but I don't have anything relevant to tell you, that man in your dreams is really strange.” Kanako looks sad.

“I hope to find something about that man and the first wish soon, or I'll be doomed.”

“You sure will, also if I find something, I will tell you.” Kanako suddenly looks serious, “I have a question, don't misunderstand me or anything but, why you never wished that I become an actress?”

I look at her eyes with some shame, “I've been thinking about that, but I don't want to wish for it, not because I don't want it but because I believe in you and I know you will become an actress someday without the help of any wish.”

“I know you believed in me but not to that point.”

“I'm sure you will be a great actress.”

"Thank you, it's just that sometimes I feel like my dreams will never come true, I get frustrated by that."

“Don't worry about it, someday you will appear on a movie or series, and I will be the first one that goes to see it.”

“Thank you, Meiko,” Kanako is smiling with a tear on her face, “I also get frustrated because I feel that in this town I would never have a chance to act, practice, or be discovered by someone. I've been considering moving to a big city to study at an acting school.”

“Oh! That's awesome, it would be sad to not having you here, but that's your dream, and you need to chase it.”

“I will! I want you to know that I would never forget you, also I hope that we will see each other often, even if I'm a big star.”

“You can count on that, Kanako!” I now take some tea, “sorry to ask because maybe you already told me but, it's there a reason you want to be an actress? maybe a movie you watched or something.”

Kanako chuckles, “It's funny that you don't remember, but to me, it was like yesterday.”

“So you already told me? Sorry, sometimes I forgot things.”

“It's not that, I never told you, but it all started in elementary school. We were watching a movie in a class, then an actress appeared, and I remember clearly your voice saying, "I'm sure Kanako is prettier than that actress, she also would act better."

Then you got up from your seat, turned off the television, and held my hand so I can get up, we started "acting." The teacher was angry at us, but it was funny, and everyone was laughing.

After that day, I started to think that maybe I wanted to be an actress to give joy to people just like that day.”

I laugh, “I didn't remember that day, it was funny. I never thought that would be the reason that inspired you.”

“In some way, you could say that you inspired me, thank you,” Kanako is smiling.

We then talk about random things while drinking tea and eating some snacks.

Kanako then smiles, “Hey Meiko, I just remembered that the summer festival is in one week, let's go with our friends.”

“I nearly forgot it, yeah, let's go! and where is it going to be?"

“In the old shrine, the one where b-chan was hiding, they remodel everything.”

“Interesting, I'm sure Takeshi will die of fear if he goes there again.” I laugh thinking of Takeshi scared.

Kanako also laughs, “I'm sure he will! I should bring b-chan.”

We talked for an hour and then I left, I'm happy she understood everything, but at the same time, I feel bad for not telling her before. I think I will tell Kanako that we should go out to eat something tomorrow with Yukino.

Suddenly a fur ball comes out of one of Kanako's windows, it's b-chan.

At first, I thought he was going to escape, but he talks to me, “I heard what you said before, I think I have information.”

I talk surprised, “Information on what?”

“Let's say I can hear and remember things no one can, for example, no one except me noticed the clouds changed color twice.”

“Then you can remember everything that happened before a wish?”

“I think so, as I was saying, I have some information about Kanako's big brother.”

“Kanako's brother!? But she doesn't have any.”

“Yeah, she had one, but one day he just disappeared like if he never existed before.”

“But why or how?” I think I might be the culprit.

“Maybe you had something to do with him, and perhaps you made him disappear.”

“So you're saying the guy I saw in my dreams is Kanako's brother? But Pakya can't kill him.”

“I don't know, but maybe there are some different ways to make someone disappear.”

“If that's true then, how does he looked like, and what's his story?”

“He was somewhat tall with black hair. He wasn't around the house often but when he was, he was violent.”

“So maybe I made him disappear because of being dangerous,” I wonder if Kanako's brother was threatening her.

“Beats me, but that's the only thing I know, I didn't want to tell Kanako cause that would make her sad.”

“I wonder how you remember a lot of things.”

“beats me, perhaps I don't count as a person.”

“Maybe. I think I will get going, if you remember anything else, please tell me."

“Ok, just don't tell anything to Kanako. Ah! There's something else I remembered, but it has no relevance.”

“What is it?”

“I was a gift from Kanako's brother to her, I can't remember anything before I got alive, but I think she had me since she was a child.”

“Hey, that's true, I forgot you were a gift. But my memories are foggy, and I can't remember who gave the gift to her.”

“As I said, it was his brother.”

“I see, anyway thanks for the information,” I said goodbye to b-chan, and then I wander around the town thinking about Kanako's brother.

Maybe I need to wish it to Pakya to be sure it's true, “Pakya I wish that Kanako's brother move from the town.”

“No! You already wished for that! Pakya~”

I write everything b-chan told me in my diary just in case, then I continue, “I wish that everyone forgets about Kanako's brother!”

“No! You already wished for that! Pakya~”

So everything b-chan said was true, and it looks like my first wish is not any of those, but I wonder if they are related in some way to the wish.

“Hey Pakya, I've been curious to see what happens if I do this, I wish that you transform into a human again.”

“No! You can't wish for that! Pakya~” I'm sure I saw Pakya sad.

Then he can't transform into a human again, I think it was obvious, but I didn't lose anything by trying.

I go to my home, and I'm still confused about Kanako's brother, I think I will talk to Shinichiro tomorrow to see if he has any idea or theory about why I did that or if it's related to my first wish. Part of me has an idea of what happened, but I'm unsure.