Broken Dam

As the sun rose and wrapped the world in its warm glow, I decided it was time to finally land. Making out an open grassy field, I began descending to it slowly so as to not wake Luna. While we were flying it seemed all the excitement that happened today had caused her to become very sleepy.

Most people I would fly around would remain too fearful to sleep or even be this relaxed even after all the time we spent in the air. But unlike them, it seemed Luna was quite comfortable in the sky. Or maybe it was because she was being held in my arms which allowed her to sleep.

In her sleep however, she would start shaking occasionally and crying out. I didn’t want to wake her because I knew she needed the rest, so I instead chose to hold her even closer whenever she seemed to be in pain. After a while of doing that she would calm down and go back to sleeping soundly.

While we slowly made our way closer to solid land, the wind began picking up causing the back of my hair to blow off to the side and my bangs to follow. Seeing my bangs flash by me once again, I remembered that they had turned white. The sight also caused me to remember what I had done in the Capital.

As if to take my mind off of it, Luna started making groaning noises. Most likely she didn’t like the heavy wind blowing on her face. To act as a shield, I turned my back towards the wind to block it from hitting her. This act had caused her to relax once again.

Landing in the field, the grass felt soft like bed sheets. Gently setting down Luna so as to not wake her up, her gentle breathing continued as if nothing had happened. After doing that I layed down myself so that I could take a little break.

After everything I was so exhausted. I could feel the wind still blowing strongly and it seemed as though it was starting to irritate Luna again as well. I quickly summoned a wall of ice in front of her path to block the wind from hitting her.

Relaxing myself, I could feel my eyes start to close. I tried to force them to stay awake, but with that last use of magic it seems I had depleted everything I had. Having no more stamina and having burned through any magic I was able to restore before, I drifted off to sleep.

In my dreams I was met with nothing but darkness. There was nothing there. There was no dream, only a deep nothingness. The lack of anything there caused me to find a strange comfort in it. I didn’t want to think of anything else anymore, so this had been perfect for me.

The dark void expanded for as far as the eye could see. It was as though it was just an ocean of darkness for how far it reached. I wanted to walk around it, but thought there was no point in exploring the nothingness.

“.....p!” A muted voice was saying something which I could not make out.

“......up!” It tried speaking again.

“..ke up!” I still couldn’t make out what it was saying or who it was.

“WAKE UP!” The screaming and shaking of the young black haired girl caused me to finally come to my senses.

“W-what’s wrong?” I asked, trying to shake off my sleepiness.

I could see tears were flowing down Luna’s face and dropping onto the lush grass. Did she want to water the grass? Her expression looked awfully sad and concerned but I wasn’t sure for what reason. Her hands which were still holding onto me were also trembling.

In fact, it seemed her whole body was trembling, not just her hands. Seeing my wonder, she quickly pushed herself into me. Her hands wrapped around me and her sobbing became even harder.

“H-h-huh? W-w-w-what’s w-w-wrong?” I tried questioning her again, this time being more nervous about the situation.

“I…...I…...thought…...you had died!” She pushed the words out through her heavy sobs.

“W-why would you think that?”

“You wouldn’t wake up. Everyone else died like that as well!”

I wrapped my arms around the trembling girl. The feeling caused her to recoil slightly, but she became more relaxed as I wrapped tighter. However, this did not relax her crying. In fact it only made it worse, I think. It seems for some reason this girl also suffered quite a bit even before that whole mess at the Capital.

I wanted to know. If there was something I could do for her, I needed to know what she had gone through. But seeing her crying this hard at such a misunderstanding made my heart crumble at the thought of asking her.

Seeing her like this made tears start to well up in my eyes. I held them back, but it had taken quite a lot of effort to do so. I’ll try asking her, then maybe that way I won’t mess up like I did just now.

“Luna?” I started.

“Y-yes?” She replied, slightly confused.

“Why would you think I was dead if I was just sleeping?”

“All the other children with me would also go to sleep and then… never wake up again.” She responded innocently, as though I had asked her where someone’s home was.

At the response I was taken aback. This child seemed to have endured something terrible, yet could only process some of the things which had happened. Her response was so saddening, yet she couldn’t even give it any emotion while answering.

“Where did this happen to you?” The question slipped out on it’s own.

“Ummm. T-the castle.” She replied.

“What were they doing to you there?”

“Experimenting. They said something about making a strong mage.” She answered once again as though it was normal.

To think these were the people I was defending. I felt an imminent disgust to the people who had done that to this little girl, let alone other children. But the feeling also came with a searing pain in my head which caused me to use my palms to cover my face. With this pain my breathing had begun spiking up greatly and my heart started beating harder and harder.

“Are you okay?” She asked worriedly.

“I’m okay.” I tried to calm her down.

Her words had caused me to remember that I had taken part in experiments on people as well. While they weren’t exactly the same, I felt like a hypocrite. But why? My actions were for a good cause, so why did I feel like this?

The end result of everything I had done allowed me to achieve something great which would help people for a long time, if not forever. But still there was this abyss inside of me. It didn't feel the least bit full—it felt emptier than it ever had before.

I reached my goal, so why? Why can’t I accept the accomplishment I had done? Why did it feel so difficult to accept it? Why did I feel like I could compare what I had done to what the castle had done? What I had done was far better, but the similarity still made my head pulse as though my heart was inside of it.

“H-hey Luna, would you like to learn magic under me?” I asked her, trying to shift my thoughts away from where they had been.

“M-m-magic.” She began trembling in fear while responding.

I realized why she looked so fearful. She must have feared magic after everything she had gone through. Something like that was far too careless for me to ask considering I had used it as a way to escape my thoughts.

“W-wait. I’ll teach you magic slowly and we won't work too hard. I’ll teach you so you can defend yourself from people like those who tried to hurt you.” I tried to make up for my carelessness.

“O-o-okay.” She quietly agreed, still shaking in her dismay.

I got her to agree but where would I even start? I don’t think following Fae’s example of a test would work out in this situation as it would only scare the poor girl more. I don’t even think she’s fully grasped what I said yet. But maybe giving her a test would be the best course of action. It could help her overcome her fear. All right then, let’s go with that.

I hid my left arm behind my back and brought my right hand to my chin to make it look as though I was thinking. With a slight gust of wind, I caused my face to show a slight tinge of pain as I made a small cut on my left arm. The expression had been just small enough to make it so Luna wouldn’t notice.

“It seems I got a little cut in our travels here, see? To start with, for today you’re going to use healing magic to heal it.” I explained while showing off the small cut I had just made.

“H-how would I do that? What if I hurt you?” She asked, her voice raising its tone a bit.

“Put your arm up to it and aim for the cut. Imagine skin growing back over the affected area and then everything will be done for you from there.” I explained, making it sound easy.

Hesitantly, she raised her hand to the small gash I had created. Her hands were shaking greatly, almost not even being able to aim for the area. She closed her eyes to concentrate. This sight had caused me to remember myself in Luna's place before. It felt like only yesterday, but I was doing it the same way before.

The way she was doing it seemed to be the exact same way I had remembered doing it. Seeing a slightly transparent lime hue emit from her hand and onto my wound, I saw it begin to start to close. But after two minutes it seemed Luna had opened her eyes, causing her to lose concentration.

As she lost concentration, the cut tore itself open once again, causing more pain then it originally had. I tried to hide the pain I had felt to the best of my ability, but Luna had seen through it and became even more fearful. Seeing it could only solicit a small laugh from me as I had messed up before in the same way.

Luna’s dread quickly turned to confusion at my chuckle. Her stare towards me showed a concern for me rather than the fear she had before. Calming myself down a little, I could only show her a smile.

“Why are you smiling? I hurt you.” She spoke dejectedly.

“It’s just that I had made the same mistake my first time as well.” I told her.

Hearing these words only caused her shoulders to ease up a little, losing the stiffness they had before. It seems that was exactly what she needed to get a grip on herself. As she raised her hand once again, it seemed she was ready to try again.

This time keeping her eyes opened and hands completely steady, she held a serious expression on her face. The expression looked so cute. I wanted to say something yet chose not to in light of her determination. I watched as a shimmering emerald light came from her hands and covered the cut.

Seeing the beautiful colour had caused me to start to remember why I had wanted to learn magic in the first place. The lovely colour I had seen the first time had caused me to chase after magic. I even asked a great mage like Fae to teach me in all my arrogance.

As the cut finished healing, Luna popped backwards, resting on her hand as she leaned back. It seemed she was exhausted from all the work she had just done. She let out a sigh of relief and closed her eyes to make sure she could finally catch her breath since apparently she had been holding it.

While looking at her my vision started to blur, making her seem like a blob. Water began hitting my newly healed arm and made me feel slightly cold each time it hit. The tears kept rolling down my eyes as if they just couldn’t stop.

With a sharp breath, it caused Luna to look back at me. At the sight of my tears she started panicking. She even stood up and tried to run around looking for someone to help me. When she realized no one was around, she ran back to me and sat in front of me again.

“Did I mess up?” She asked.

“N-no. Not at all. You passed with flying colours.” I told her as I wiped my eyes with my arm and sniffled.

Letting out another sigh of relief, this one being even greater than the other, she started to relax again. Although, she still had a worried look on her face since my tears were starting to come back. It seemed no matter how much I wiped them away, they wouldn’t stop. I hadn’t cried like this for quite a while.

Standing up, I reached my hand out to Luna. She looked confused as to what I was doing. It looked like she wasn’t sure if she wanted to take my hand just yet. I wasn’t sure if she was still a little hesitant to go along with me or if she was just concerned.

“Are you ready to go?” I spoke.

“Y-yes!” She exclaimed, taking my hand.