Chapter 78:

Endless Fields

New Leaf!


During the car ride, I was really tired. I think it’s because last night, I could barely sleep. And even now, I really want to sleep, but I can’t. No, I’m still being tormented by my thoughts about last night… But, I managed to sleep more here than in bed — perhaps it’s because of the ‘rock-a-bye baby’ feeling.

Sometimes, I’d be able to sleep, and other times, I would lay there with my eyes closed. But I was pretty comfortable. Since Bailey is driving and Ren is sitting in the passenger seat, that leaves the entire back row for me to lay down on…

I really don’t want Ren to hate me… But it’s only natural, right? I mean, no one wants to be associated with someone like me — I’ll just be a bad influence or be harmful to them… I don’t blame them for their animosity. In fact… I hate myself…

As I lay on the backseats of the car, I felt a tear develop in my left eye…

I’ve come to terms with it… I’m terrible. Seducing people and stealing from them… Unfairly doing things without compensating… And that’s not the only reason Ren has to dislike me.

I’m weak…

The only thing I’m good at is letting other people use me… This thing about me has always made it hard to think highly of myself… Submitting to horrible verbal and physical abuse… Accepting all forms of dehumanization… I’m too weak to advocate for myself… It’s a tragedy if people get to know me…

“Oh, it’s that time of the year, isn’t it?”

I overheard Bailey talking to Ren while I appeared asleep.

“So our estimated time of arrival is around 6:00 PM, eh? But with the damn traffic, I guess we’ll get back later, huh?”

Bailey’s just complaining about something as usual… But oh well — I guess this major delay is annoying…

As I stared at the clean car floor, I sighed under my breath.

But I don’t want it to be like this… It’s already a fact, but why am I fighting so hard to change it? Hm… No, I just can’t let it be like this. Even if Ren hates me, he saved me and I am eternally grateful for that. He truly cares for me… He truly loves me…

He can’t hate me…

After some time during the ride, I fell asleep… But when I woke up, I rose to view outside to window.

There wasn’t really anything of note. We were on a country road, and there was nothing but fields with light brown crops. Occasionally, I would see fences with animals, old-looking buildings, and advertisements for restaurants further down the road…

I was bored…

“Oh? Hey, Camryn. You’re finally awake.”

I turned my head to look forward. Bailey was peering at me through the rearview mirror.

“H-Hi, Bailey…”

I was speaking in a rather unenthusiastic and monotone voice.

I looked out of the window again. Wait, when I fell asleep, we were on an urban and pretty congested highway. Well, I don’t know for sure, but from my view out the window from laying down, I saw highway signs and heads of buildings, and I felt us moving slower and stopping frequently…

“Um… B-Bailey?”

“Yeah?”

“Um… How long was I asleep for?”

While looking at the road, she put her fingers on her chin.

“Oh, um…”

She continued thinking for a few seconds before Ren cut in.

“She was asleep for three hours…”

“Yeah! Three hours!”

Oh! Three hours?.. Wow, I was asleep for a while then… Was I that tired? I guess — I wasn’t keeping track of the time when I was just laying on my bed at night…

“Oh… T-Thanks, Ren…”

“Yeah.”

When he answered, I don’t think he was speaking directly to me. But I’ll still thank him because he answered my question.

“So, two more hours, huh?”

I looked at the touchscreen car stereo. It’s 4:25…

“So we still got a while to go, huh? We’ll be back at around 6:30…”

“Sadly, no…”

I looked at Bailey in confusion — should I look at her or the rearview mirror?

“Hm?”

“Damn traffic delayed us… Camryn, our estimated time of arrival is around 7:30 or 8:00.”

“I see…”

I guess it doesn’t really matter to me when we get home — I don’t have work tomorrow. But I guess it makes sense why this would irritate Bailey the most; she is driving. But even so, she can just exchange with Ren, right?

I decided to look out the window again… Looking outside can get a little monotonous at times. I mean, there’s nothing to observe other than the same wheat fields.

“H-Hey, Camryn…”

I looked over to Bailey. Her eyes were still fixed on the road. I couldn’t see her face clearly through the rearview mirror, but…

“S-So… Ren and I were talking…”

But, she sounded unsure and cautious when she was speaking. It was like she was coming up with something right as she was speaking, but I knew that wasn’t the truth — she’s too organized to do so.

“Um… W-We were thinking of taking a detour…”

I raised my eyebrows in curiosity.

“See, we’re thinking about going somewhere called the Aragain Falls.”

Hm? I never heard of the place. Aragain Falls… The word ‘falls’ is in the name, so maybe it’s a cliff of some kind. Well, when I think of that word, the first thing that comes to my mind is a great height. So a cliff, gorge, or canyon?

“Hm? Never heard of it…”

“Oh, it’s great!”

Bailey sounded excited. Yet, also still a bit hesitant.

“See, Aragain Falls is a great big waterfall…”

Oh, I guess that makes more sense.

“It’s a set of massive natural waterfalls that attracts a lot of tourists. It’s so amazing to awe at!”

“Oh?”

“And along the falls make for a relaxing picnic spot. And there’s also this street with a lot of attractions. There are fun houses, mazes, rides, haunted houses, casinos, oh, and there’s also a huge Ferris wheel.”

Ooh, that sounds like fun…

“But it’s pretty late, isn’t it?”

“Yeah… Sadly, we won’t get to experience it. However, we’re planning to just stay at the falls for a few hours.”

But why? With all those attractions, shouldn’t we stay for longer?

“Um…”

She was excited when explaining the place, but her voice assumed the same hesitant tone again.

“See, it will be the evening when we get there. That’s the perfect time to watch the fireworks!”

Hm? What are those? Well… Bailey was enthusiastic, although unsure when she told me about them. So maybe they’re fun! But then again, the name sounds dangerous. Fire…

“F-Fireworks!?”

I sounded a little nervous.

“Don’t worry, there isn’t anything dangerous… It’s… um… They’re like…”

Bailey was struggling to try and explain.

“Um, a first, a rocket is shot into the air…”

Eek!

“A-And there’s a fiery explosion…”

Oh no…

“And then there’s a loud ‘boom’ sound…”

“Ah! Bailey, that does sound dangerous!”

But she shook her head.

“Er, sorry. But I was just explaining it wrong. See, fireworks are set up far away so that they don’t hurt us. But, they’re set up close enough for us to see it.”

I see…

“Oh, and it’s really beautiful. And in the night sky and over the falls, it’s just awesome — so dazzling and flashy!”

“I see…”

Honestly, I was a bit hesitant… I mean, I’ve never heard of fireworks… They just sound really risky to be by…

“Um…”

Someone beside Bailey spoke. Ren’s voice was monotone, but it still sounded slightly different. His head peeked out from behind his seat, and I could see the side of his worn-out face.

“Fireworks sound dangerous, b-but they’re not.”

I saw his left arm move. I guessed that it was to cover his right shoulder, but I couldn’t see it properly.

“Um… They are actually enjoyable to view. A-And people wouldn’t make them for the sake of display if they were harmful to the public…”

I see… Yeah, that makes sense. Then I guess I have no reason to decline — besides, Bailey made it sound like they are fun to watch!

“Hm… Okay, let’s watch them!”

“Great! Camryn, we’ll have a great time…”

As I watched Ren move his head behind the seat again, I smiled. Honestly, I’m still a bit reluctant — less about the hazards of these fireworks…

When Ren was speaking, he sounded a bit off. It was subtle and barely noticeable, but he sounded like he was stuttering. It was like he was deeply thinking about his words…

I wonder why...

MIKU
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