The pill is so good

My mind is dry.

I watch the game of sparkling waves, while the sun casts its last tired rays over the whole blue sea. The sky is not absent from the braids of the clouds with different flavors. Some fluffy clouds have cherry flavors, others certainly taste like berries. Some have the scent of blackberries, others have the sweet flavor of a cotton candy.

I get up from the edge of the cliff and don't look away from the waves, listening intently to the disturbing sound it makes. I don't know many things, but I am aware that this is the world I live in. It is a charming paradise that attracts you more and more to its middle, forcing you to never leave it.

I decide to turn my back on the view, which becomes more and more gloomy as the sunset turns to darkness. In front of me I see an angelic form whose eyes stare at me intensely. The look is not one that rebukes or expresses a radiantly happy mood. It's more of an imposing look that gives me a piercing smile from time to time until I decide to break the silence:

“Did I bother with something?”

As human as this being may seem, the girl has far too angelic features. Her face sculpted in the most perfect angles being devoid of any kind of imperfection. Her long blond hair falls on her shoulders, and from her entire existence she seems to explode and radiate a certain shine. However, it has no angel-specific features: it has no wings, but no white robes or warrior armor; it has no aura above its head, nor is it a baby that flies and possesses a bow.

After a few moments of just analyzing it, I allow my body to relax, reminding me that I didn't answer the girl. I shake my head with quick movements without being able to articulate a word. I feel how my whole life is shaken by its simple tones and vibrations with which it brutally attacks me through its sincere presence. It seems so unnatural and yet so natural as if it came bundled with this world.

It doesn't take us out of sight for long periods of time. Her eyes are overwhelming and draw me into another world, mesmerizing me. The girl turns abruptly, without any facial expression and motions for me to follow her, radiating an electrifying energy. I conform without thinking twice, as if I were caught in a hard-to-break spell and follow a path.

The path splits the plain in two, seeing no end to it. This space of an infinite green, shelters a multitude of vegetation: from parts with tall grass and bushes to trees of different sizes. However, this rich fauna is deserted, giving me an alarming silence.

“Aren't there animals here?” I dare to ask.

“There is no room with illusions here, nor any box full of false identities,” my girl answers me immediately, as if she was waiting for me to ask her this.

I turn my back on the road and see Nagamine running towards me. Without thinking, I run to him and immediately take him in my arms. When I get rid of his embrace, I notice how the whole land is full of life, animals and nature.

“You succeeded, Iwamoto!” Nagamine tells me, smiling.

“Do you know each other, then?” the angel asks.

“She's a witch, you don't have to keep her mouth shut.”

I smile and in just a few moments, the angel becomes invisible, flying to the sky and shining like a star in the light of day.

“Where are the others?”

“Which others?”

“Those who are waiting for me.”

“We get there too. Mrs. Tomiko will be here soon. Let`s go for a walk.”

I notice the much too beautiful land that stretches before my eyes. Is gorgeous. Lots of nature everywhere. We reach the edge of a forest, and Nagamine motions for me to wait, and he disappears through the trees.

I'm happy.

I kneel and after a while of rest I sit on my back. The damp strands of grass tickled my skin, and the thought flew away, wandering worlds unseen by others. I take a deep breath and wait steadily for something. A sound. A cracked branch under the foot of an animal. A cloud in the sky too clear. My limbs numb with stillness, sinking into the grass as if it were soft mud or moving sand that drags me into a dark world.

I blow all the air out and start breathing regularly. I'm happy, I think before I wake up. I get up to my feet, untie my tight laces and take off my shoes.

I take off my socks and stuff them in my boots. The dewdrops on the blades of grass moisten my feet and thousands of chills run through my body. The thought disappears.

The song of the birds finally fills the air. Among the trunks of the trees I see a shadow, and my eyes analyze each gesture, without taking my eyes off it. The branches crack, the birds sing. I see her hopping gently over the branches and over the unevenness of the ground, throwing a smile at me from time to time. I can feel the corners of my mouth rising, and the blue of the air is stained by a fluffy cloud.

“Ready!” he says, beaming with enthusiasm.

He raises his hands above his head and stares at me, then sits down next to me and rests his head on my chest. I inhale the scent of his hair that reminds me of the moments when I walked with my mother on the street, coming from the store or from the park. She sometimes stopped and looked at the sky through the leaves of a fragrant tree. After a few moments of silence as I tried to imitate her gestures, she said to me in a reassuring voice: It's a linden tree. Tea is made from it.

His hair smells of lime. I stroked his head carefully, touching it lightly as if I didn't want to ruin anything. It was like a thin piece of glass and any light touch would break it. I'm happy. I'm very happy.

We get up without saying a word and I have the strange and warm feeling that we have thought the same thing. I put my boots back on. My palms are sweating profusely on my shoelaces and I'm trying to control some inner itching that I can't alleviate by scratching myself. He rolls his green Veronese eyes into mine. I feel a bliss on her part that intertwines with my own existence and I have the impression that I am looking at my own soul. I am nervous.

His gaze escapes the grip of my eyes. It was as if her eyes had expelled any air from my lungs. He takes his lower backpack and throws it back in one motion. I wake up and find myself following his movements without realizing it at the moment. We throw a sad smile and become aware of all the happiness that runs through our bodies. The realization hits me hard in the chest and, with an impulse, I press my lips firmly against her forehead, forming a long kiss.

We start in silence through the forest, carefully following some markings on the tree trunks. Towering forest. Once we invade this unknown territory, it becomes increasingly difficult to see its end. An infinite nature.

I am so happy that I feel an unprecedented sadness sprout from the core of my being. I am so happy that I let this sadness fill my thoughts and life. I'd like to stop time here. Never live after this moment again. To die here, taking happiness with me to another world and letting sadness roam these lands I tread right now.

She takes my hand in hers and we don't say anything. We would have so much to talk about, and most of the time we tell each other a lot of things that never seem to end. But now the silence dominates our whole conversation and I feel that time has stopped, that a part of my soul has remained here in the forest, dying a piece of me.

“Nagamine, I never want to wake up again,” I break the silence.

“You should at some point, this is not a place for you yet.”

Nagamine stops walking and looks at me, holding my hand. His eyes sparkle in a blue color that petrifies my soul. I feel a cold on my skin, but it's not a feeling that makes me shiver. I am calm and calm, as Mrs. Tomiko said I will be when I take the pill.

I stand on tiptoe and stick my lips to Nagamine's, feeling my whole being reborn. I really want to stop this moment here and stay in this world even if it means dying. My being merges with his, as if becoming a single entity. We break the kiss and give each other a shy smile.

“Nagamine, I long for you!”

“And I long for you, Iwamoto!”

We hug each other without thinking about what will happen next.

"I can't stay here forever either," Nagamine tells me, stroking my back.

“Why?”

“My world is Purgatory.”