Chapter 35:

Godspeed (Sam versus Girl Scout Round 2)


Sam and Lobo ran through the transmission towers and power lines of the Electric Grid. There was lightning and thunder in the dark clouds overhead.

‘Heeere, nukey nukey nukey,’ said Sam.

Suddenly, Lobo stopped and sniffed around one of the transmission towers.

‘What is it girl?’ said Sam. ‘Radiation?’

Lobo suddenly started growling at the transmission tower. Sam couldn’t see anything wrong with it….

A ghostly Onryō flew out of the transmission tower and phased into Lobo.

‘Lobo!’ said Sam.

Lobo, now possessed, bounded around the corner.

Sam ran after her and came to a cul-de-sac of transmission towers. She couldn’t see anything because of the darkness. ‘LOBOOO!’

Lightning struck the transmission tower at the end of the cul-de-sac. The place lit up with blue electricity.

A calm, electronic voice spoke. ‘Hello, Sam.’

Someone was standing atop the transmission tower at the end of the cul-de-sac. It was a little girl with six angel wings.

It took a moment for Sam to recognise the beret and uniform. ‘Girl Scout?!’

Girl Scout smiled serenely.

‘But that’s impossible!’ said Sam. ‘You’re dead!’

Girl Scout laughed. ‘Not so impossible. When I died, I went to Heaven, but God sent me back as an angel to bring about Armageddon. Fear not, Sam. I do not hate you anymore. I have transcended base mortal emotions and now feel only a boundless love for all humanity. I wish to bring about the Rapture and send all that are worthy to Heaven. However, I cannot have you getting in my way like you have in the past, so I have brought some believers to help me.’

A group of turbaned, bearded Arabs holding AK47s assembled in front of Sam.

‘These are the Mujahadeen who served alongside my mortal father in Afghanistan. They wish to bring about Armageddon so that they will be raptured into Heaven.’

A group of Patriots wearing the same power armour that Sam had worn when fighting Pigskin assembled behind the Mujahadeen. 

‘These are Colonel Ripper’s Elite Patriots. They wish to destroy the communist nations of Earth and damn their followers to Hell.’

Four men on horses assembled behind the Elite Patriots. The first wore golden armour, carried a longsword, and rode a red horse. The second wore brown rags, carried a pitchfork, and rode a black horse. The third wore a crown of thorns, carried a shovel, and rode a white horse. The fourth wore a black hooded robe, carried a scythe, and rode a pale horse.

‘These are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death. Their role is to ensure Armageddon goes ahead according to God’s plan.’

Onryō came behind the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse holding Lobo in an arm lock.

‘You have already met Onryō. She is a vengeful ghost who wishes to finally ascend to Heaven. As you can see, Sam, I have you outmatched. Lay down your arms, and I shall offer you and Lobo quick and painless deaths.’

Sam put her hand to her chin. ‘What you’re saying doesn’t make any sense. God is on my side, not yours. When you met God, what did he look like?’

Girl Scout grinned. ‘His majesty is indescribable.’

‘Did he look like a giant octopus-dragon-human hybrid?’

Girl Scout’s serene expression slowly turned into a glare.

‘Yeah, that’s Cthulu. Marilyn told me about him. I’m guessing by your expression that you weren’t so much conned as you were a willing convert. Must suck to die a Christian and end up in the Dungeon Universe instead of Heaven. Bet you set this whole ruse up in an attempt to trick me, huh? Bet these Four Horsemen of the Apocalyse are just Cthulu’s lackeys, huh?’

Girl Scout called Sam a swear word. ‘I can see why you were always Colonel Ripper’s favourite now, Little Miss Oh-So-Perfect Super Soldier!’ She smirked. ‘But you’re still outmatched!’

‘Nah. It was a good plan, but you made one mistake.’

‘What’s that?’

Salsa music started playing in Sam’s head. She grabbed her chain hatchets. ‘You threatened my dog. Zone Technique: Cyclone Salsa.’

Using her custom wind movement Zone, Sam spun forwards at the speed of a jet stream. 

Everything around her seemed to move in slow motion. 

The Mujahedeen and the Elite Patriots fired their guns at her, but she easily dodged their bullets and chopped their heads off. 

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse thrust their weapons at her. She cut the weapons, the Horsemen, and the horses to pieces. 

Onryō went ghostlike, phased into Lobo, and clawed at Sam. Sam punched Lobo in the face to knock Onryō back out in corporeal form and slashed her in half.

Sam leapt up at Girl Scout, but she flew away.

‘Zone Special: Lightning Strike!’ said Girl Scout. 

She hurled a throwing knife at Sam. 

A lightning bolt shot down towards it.

‘Zone Special: Hypercane!’ said Sam.

A hurricane formed around her and sent the throwing knife and the lightning bolt flying back at Girl Scout. 

The throwing knife stabbed Girl Scout in the stomach. 

Then the lightning bolt electrocuted her.

Sam landed and caught Lobo in her arms. ‘No one threatens my dog.’

Joe Gold
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