Round 1, Match 2: Gilgameshuu vs T.K. 月狐. Gilgameshuu:

Round 1, Match 2: Gilgameshuu vs T.K. 月狐

Prompt: The New Kid

Participant: Gilgameshuu (https://www.honeyfeed.fm/u/5218)

A young man walked alone on the pavement. He had messy jet-black hair, clad in a jacket and a Gakuran uniform. This was supposed to be his first day at his new high school, yet he was already late. He looked down at the wristwatch in his right hand.

8:10 AM was displayed. He sighed, seemingly with no care.

“Just the same as always...” he muttered to himself.

He eventually arrived at the school gates. As he proceeded to the main building, he looked around, his presence was met with nothing. It gave him an eerie feeling, but it was something he was used to at this point.

In his surroundings, the snow had not yet melted. Winter Break had just ended when he and his family moved to Chiba. It was due to his father’s work. He resented the snow—the cold, specifically. He was a sickly person, he frequently got colds and his fingers would literally lock up due to the freezing temperature.

The feeling of loneliness and isolation was something he learned to accept. Just like his footprints on the snow, he would continue to move from place to place. The friendships he formed would be lost, the people he met would be forgotten—in turn, they would also eventually forget him.

“What’s the point then?” he asked himself as he looked up into the sky. The sky was clear; the sun was visible—it was supposed to be a nice day today.

He arrived at the building, after ridding his shoes of snow, he went inside. He looked at the lockers. Since he was a transfer student, he did not even have a locker to change to his indoor shoes.

He sighed at the unfortunate situation, but there was nothing he could do.

“I guess I’d have to do an introduction again, huh?”

He slowly made his way up the flight of stairs.

“2-3, right?”

He proceeded down the desolate hallway.

“Here.”

Eventually, he stopped in front of the door of his supposed classroom. He looked up at the sign to make sure.

It was labeled 2-3.

After he confirmed it, he placed his hand on the door handle.

Then, he froze.

His hand trembled ever so slightly. If it was from the cold, nervousness, or something else entirely—he did not know.

All he did know was he felt fear. He could not open the door. Try as he might, his hand remained frozen.

His breathing was uneven, he did know what to do.

What was he so afraid of?

It’s the same thing as before, he had gone through this numerous times already. So why? Why was it that he was hesitating?

There was nothing physically holding him back. If he truly wanted to, he could open the door easily.

If he truly wanted to.

Don’t open that door!

You can hear their voices right? Their scary voices?

A voice. He heard the voice of someone, yet no one.

“It’s going to be the same thing anyway, why go to school?”

It was a voice from his own mind. A voice talking with him, inside his head. It first came 6 years ago.

It was a voice that kept him company throughout his isolation. It was the only person, the only friend, who never left him behind. No, he could not leave it behind.

Instead of being frightened, he felt relieved. Relieved that there was someone else there with him. However, that voice was simply something of delusion—but he could not understand that. It was beyond his understanding.

He took a deep breath and eventually opened the door. He gave his apologies to the teacher and made his brief introduction.

“You see those eyes? They are out to get you.”

“Why did you open the door, you idiot?!”

“Now they see, they think you’re stupid. You’re stupid, you know?”

It continued on with its verbal onslaught, yet the young man only smiled.

“My name is Takeru Ishida.”

That was all he said.

“What a stupid introduction, they definitely think you’re stupid.”

He bowed slightly and made his way to a vacant seat towards the back.

All of a sudden.

“Watch out!”

Takeru jumped backward. He tripped and landed on the floor.

A hand had reached out to him.

His entire body was shaking.

“That guy’s gonna kill you.”

“Run away.”

“You’re definitely a laughingstock.”

Takeru heard it’s voice berate him once more. However, he simply ignored it.

“Are you okay?” A girl asked him. He ignored her and not even made an effort to look at her face.

With ragged breathing, he stood up and ran over to his seat. He promptly sat down.

“You’re really stupid, huh?”

“That’s why nobody likes you.”

Takeru eventually calmed down and the class proceeded.

It was his beginning in this new school, yet that wasn’t going to last long. Again, he will be forced to move in the future, again he will be forced to separate from his friends.

However, he long since gave up on making friends. There was no point for him in doing such a tedious thing—if it was going to be lost in the end.

He smiled.

After all.

“Hey, you won’t leave me right?” he asked under his breath.

The question was directed to it.

It did not respond, however.

“Guess he’s asleep now.”

He sighed.

It was yet another beginning of a new school life for Takeru Ishida. He had no doubts that it would end again soon enough, so he’d only try to endure the pain for now. He’d endure that loneliness and isolation until it comes back.

The voice that never left him.

The voice that came to him when he was alone, all those years ago.

He was certain, that voice would never leave him.

That delusion.

---

Judge's Feedback

znf: Comfy opening, gets a bit shaky when you introduce the voice. It's hard to really pinpoint what the narrator is thinking or feeling at any time. Definitely could've attempted a first person take on this because the narrator has delusions but his conflicted attitude towards the voice betrays certain elements and makes it seem kinda weird and incongruent.

OscarHM: I like the take on the prompt, making 'new kid' a recurring motif in this kids life as opposed to a one time thing. The execution in the writing is a bit uneven, there's one or two lines I quite like, ones that illustrate the MC's mental state. A lot of the time the prose feels a bit overbearing, like its really trying too hard to sell the characters mental state etc etc. I feel like this would've benefited greatly from being told in a first person perspective, I think what's interesting about Ishida is a bit muted in 3rd person. And a pet peeve, I don't really see the value of setting this in Japan myself, just makes me feel like I'm reading an imitation LN and the things that work about it could work in any country setting.

otkrlj: really liked the whole focus on mental health. feel like it staggers a bit in the upper middle, but recovers fast. I really liked the voice, you can really see its negativity bringing the mood down of the protagonist.