Chapter 4

“Aww... dear, are you okay?”

Mom suddenly lifted me up and hugged me. Her hands carefully pet the back of my head. Her embrace was very sweet and soft.

I should had been happy, right?

-

I was terrified.

I felt nauseous.

I wanted to run away.

But the fear had paralyzed me.

My head, my mouth, my arms, and legs,

Everything was frozen up.

I felt cold sweat slowly going down from my neck.

My breathing became uneven.

I felt my heart beating non-stop at maximum speed.

Yet, at the same time, all I thought was:

“I musn’t make any noise”.

Why?

Because if I dared to make any noise...

...

Does it matter?

The result would be the same anyway.

Over and over, no matter what I did.

Therefore, why should I even bother?

No.

That’s wrong.

It must be worse if I made noise.

After all, that would mean I had been a bad kid.

Time is running out.

I should calm myself down.

But then again,

Is it that worth to try it?

No.

That’s wrong too.

-

“Hmm? What’s wrong, dear?” - Mom carefully undid the embrace and asked softly while smiling.

What kind of expression I was wearing?

It must be bad if I had dared to make a “bad” one, so I quickly swapped my face-plate to a smiling one.

   “Nothing, mom. I just tripped over the sheets while waking up” .

   “Is that so? Oh, you poor thing. Did you get hurt?”

   “Oh no, I’m fine. It didn’t even hurt”

   “Really? Then, I’m glad to hear that”. 

Mom said while petting my head.

-

"Please go away".

That’s all I could think in that moment.