Developing yuri goggles

Kisses are just a greeting:

In Brussels, everyone on the same social level greets one another with a kiss on the cheek. Even men do this among each other. This is not done in Flanders, the northern part of the country, where a man would never kiss another man as a greeting. Men kissing women and women kissing women as a greeting is normal even there though.

In Brussels it goes so far to the point that if you don't do it, it could be interpreted as having a problem with that person and it could be taken as an insult.

For occasions like birthdays we give 3 kisses. My grandparents used to give tree kisses in a greeting when you met with family or someone you had not seen for a while but that custom has died down over the years. There are still people giving 3 kisses the whole time. So kisses on the cheek are nothing more than a greeting. This often results in needing to go around a venue to give everyone a kiss when coming in as well as when leaving, and making sure you did not forget anyone.

Chapter 6: Developing yuri goggles

Our next class was religion so it was Ms De Vout that came to pick us up. She had died platinum blond but short hair and wore glasses. She was the serious type and always had a rosary around her wrist. She wrote several books for children and because of that she was often absent from school as she often had to give seminars in other schools. The administration was okay with that because having a writer in its ranks was good for the school's reputation.

Ms De Vout had clearly jumped at the chance to have found a subject that was actual and close to the hearts of everyone in class, so our religion class was themed by Louisa's tragedy and we had to learn about self acceptance.

“It is because Louisa could not accept herself that such a tragedy could have happened.” Then she looked empathically at me and added “but it is of great consolation to know that she was loved in her last moments, even if she herself could not accept it.”

So the fake news spread even among the teachers. You would expect teachers to follow their own teachings but clearly Ms De Vout did not check her sources.

I felt myself flush from shame, and looked down at my notes.

After that, class passed rather uneventfully although I saw Elsa every now and then take glances at me but when I looked back and caught her eyes she quickly reverted her gaze. “What could she be up to now?” I thought.

After classes were over Gazette ran enthusiastically up to me and said

“Shall we go together?”

I smiled and nodded : “OK, Eline, Let's go”

I saw Elsa look venomous toward Gazette, djeesj what was up with her. I chose to ignore her before we got a repeat of yesterday. That girl clearly hated everything about me and anyone that had to do with me.

When we were in the hallway of the FBY office, we spotted Elodie who came running toward us, and jumped us in a dual hug. I felt a bit overwhelmed and couldn't help but be reminded of her puppy-like qualities. We both got a kiss on our cheek and then went on toward our office.

We knocked, the door flew open and Ms Lyst let us in with a delighted look on her face checking out the new recruits.

“This is Eline and Elodie, they have agreed to help us with the communications department.”

“Welcome, good of you girls to join, we have exciting times ahead and looking at the two of you I can see that you will fit right in” Ms Lyst answered.

She clearly hinted at some hidden meaning in that last part of that sentence, but it was beyond me, but then I saw Elodie's face get red so it seemed it was intended for her.

We all took a seat around a large meeting desk. Ms Lyst took out a remote control and a view screen rolled down behind her. A beamer lighted and she began her presentation.

“How to develop your Yuri goggles”

“Claire, what can you tell us about the homework I have been giving you?”

“They are a bunch of stories about girls falling in love, holding hands. Some of the stories are rather lewd.” I answered.

Ms Lyst sighed. “Are we still at that point?” she asked the heavens.

“By now you should have noticed the seeds of the light that is yuri are everywhere, it can be in a gaze, , a gentle touch, even in a scornful look. The reason that I am having you read those books is to recognize the patterns of how yuri seeds develop into full blossom flowers.”

I nodded but at the same time I thought she sounded a bit like a cultist.

“The thing that I wanted you to learn from the books that I selected for you is that putting yuri characters together does not necessarily mean that yuri will blossom. The way they are put together is of the utmost importance. In yuriology we use the technical terms “top and bottom” to describe this dynamic. There is of course also the hybrid 'switch' type which is a combination of the above. But in the end at any given moment, one is the top and the other the bottom even if they are technically a switch.”

This started to sound complicated. I had no idea what she was talking about. Ms Lyst clearly noticed I was lost and said “Well it might be more clear with some examples.”

She started a slide show depicting some doujinshi yuri fanart manga where all the girls were drawn as couples but each time in a different pose or combination. We learned that the more dominant and protective one was considered the top and the other the bottom. We went through lots of pictures and by the end of it we all could pick out the top and bottom at first glance.

“OK you got the first step. Now let us dive in a little deeper.” Ms Lyst continued.

“Although this dynamic seems natural, sometimes to let yuri seeds flourish the roles need to be reversed. A relationship between 2 beautiful flowers can sower if they are in the wrong roles. It is our job as FBY officers to watch for these role reversal symptoms so that we can accompany them and facilitate them to grow into flourishing beautiful yuri flowers. For that reason as your homework I want all of you to take a yuri novel, and re-write a few chapters where you switch the roles and look what effect that would have on the interpersonal relationships and the story.'' I sighed, there went even more of my precious cooking time...

“Oh, the two of you can take some novels from the archive on the right wall”. A huge cabinet full of yuri manga and novels had entered the office in the last 24 hours. Clearly cost nor effort were spared for this insanity.

“No need for me. I have my own at home.” Elodie answered to my surprise. Gazette giggled when she saw my surprised face and said “I will borrow one from Elodie if that is alright Ms Lyst?”

“Of course that is fine too, but know that you are always welcome to borrow any of these yuri novels and manga. And please, call me Anna, that goes for all of you. ” she looked approving and tenderly at Elodie and Gazette and then continued

“If we can keep this up until the end of the week I think you all will be fully trained so that we can really start up the bureaus activities.”

The three of us packed our bags and we left school together.

When I saw Gazette and Elodie interact in front of me the thought Gazette= top Elodie = bottom flashed immediately through my mind. Even though Gazette was younger and a lot smaller, she handled the excited Elodie very calmly and lovingly. I shook my head. What the hell is wrong with me this is real life, not a manga. I took a deep breath and tried to think about what I was gonna cook tonight. As long as I could focus on cooking I should be able to stop Ms. Lyst's yurindoctrination.

We fooled a bit around and were joking on the way home until our paths diverged and it was time to say goodbye. “I take a right here,” said Elodie “And I am going with her, I need to pick up that book,” Gazette added. They looked each other in the eye, I started to feel a bit uncomfortable like I was the third wheel so I quickly said “Okay, see you tomorrow!” and went off homeward at a good pace.