The Y-files [GL]
As agreed Elsa arrived at 14.30 at the bureau. We had rearranged the furniture a bit so that we had a little consultation desk. Ms Lyst had put in an immediate order for a little salon with sofas “necessary to create the right atmosphere for consultations” to quote her.
“We have been looking into your situation Elsa, and we might have an idea to help you.”
“Really?” Elsa said with an upward tone projecting hope. “Even though she said she did not like me?”
“Yes, after our analysis of the situation, we can say with 90% accuracy that Tina most likely likes you too.” while I was explaining, Ms Lyst projected some graphs with complicated formulas next to it to make it all look more convincing.
In reality they did not mean anything. I just made the numbers up to support my own opinion. I felt a bit like a scammer. But strangely I was having fun and felt just like one of the main characters in one of those Yuri novels. I looked at Ms Lyst and then suddenly I felt a shiver come over me. Wait, wouldn’t that mean that I had a love interest but was too dense to see it? Scrap that. I do not care about that stuff. I only care about cooking.
Ms Lyst took over from me with a grave tone: “However your situation is not a simple one. We have diagnosed the situation as a double tsundere.”
“What is that? Is that dangerous, I'm pretty sure I'm healthy?” Elsa asked these questions like Ms Lyst told her she was ill. It was clear that she did not know what a tsundere was. Well to be honest, if you had asked me that a week ago I wouldn't have known the answer either.
“Nothing like that, here I will explain.” Ms Lyst explained to her that just the same as she had confessed to me that she had trouble being honest with herself, the same went for Tina and that that would turn into a vicious circle of unanswered feelings.
“But that is why I went for the purple lilacs and that did not work out... ” she said sullenly and put a bit of a pout on her. I thought she was really cute when pouting. No stop that mind, I am not interested in that kind of thing and I certainly do not have the time for it, if I have free time I will spend it cooking. Let us continue with the task at hand.
“That was a good plan, but only half measures.” I answered her. “You only took care of yourself, needing to be honest with yourself. You did not take care of the Tina side of the bargain and that is why you failed.”
Elsa looked a bit ashamed but gained a hopeful smile and asked “So what do you propose?”
I gave a sign to Ms Lyst and she changed the slide with the big words
The accidental lock up in the locker room plan
and she took over again:
“From the vast library of sources we have here at our disposal” showing off the cabinets full of yuri novels and manga, “We decided that the following strategy would be the most efficient if we take the given patterns into consideration.”
Then we laid out our plan to have them accidentally locked up inside the gym locker room unable to come out until everything was settled. We would combine it with Elsa's plan for gifting purple lilacs and added the idea that I would go around distributing sweets that day so that it would not be suspicious that they had sweets to not get hungry while locked up.
Then I took the lead of the conversation back, I could not let Ms Lyst take control over this case. “In our estimations, the only way this plan would fail is if for some reason the lock up is broken before you manage to confess, but Ms Lyst will arrange with Ms Lourdes that we can control that too.”
With the plan laid out to the last detail we decided to let Elsa send a line message to Tina to meet tomorrow after school in the locker room.
While we were waiting for the reply a random thought entered my head. Elsa with the purple lilacs in the locker room. Sounds like the classic board game Cluedo would be much more interesting if it was about yuri instead of murder.
“Ping” Tina's answer had arrived and we were set to go. Tomorrow we would see if our plans came to fruition.
Elsa got ready to leave and said goodbye with a kiss to everyone and ended with me. After she gave me my kiss she said “Well it is not like I am grateful to you, but let's do our best tomorrow.”
I let out an inner sigh. Tomorrow was also gonna be a long day if this was a sign.
After Elsa left, we were left with only us four bureau officials. Ms Lyst called us back to the meeting table.
“We need to find a way to reach more people like Elsa and Tina,” she said.
“We need to spread the message of yuri that is pureness and beauty!” Ms Lyst became more excited and started to sound a bit like a cultist but she quickly regained posture.
“ It is why we created the communications department and to celebrate the joining of you 2 beautiful members,” She winked at Elodie and Gazette, “I have arranged for an extra room with computers and an internet connection for you guys to work in. So we got up to check it out.
“Why did we need to go sit down at the table when we were going to the next room immediately anyway?” I mumbled cynically to myself.
Suddenly Ms Lyst hugged me from behind. I froze at what was happening but I got really hot at the same time and noticed that she had a very nice and sweet scent. Must be the soap she uses because it wasn't a perfume. Then she whispered playfully in my ear “For dramatic purposes my dear, for dramatic purposes.” I went completely red and wiggled myself free and shot lightnings from my eyes. That woman! She kept playing me like it was nothing. I would not let her keep having her way with me!
We entered our second communications room which was right next to our office and I was wowed so much by what I saw that I managed to put the tumult from a minute ago into the back of my head.
Two state of the art supercomputers with 4 screens each and a mega monitor on the wall. Next to that was a mini studio to perform live streaming or make videos to spread via social media. Everything was professional grade. What kind of budgets were invested in this madness? Gazette's and Elodie's eyes sparkled and chins dropped. They were beyond happy.
“With this kind of investment we do expect results of course. We expect that you guys work on ways to spread the message and on ways to spot possible yuri seeds.” Elodie and Gazette nodded but I was not 100% sure it registered. They were still on cloud nine.
Ms Lyst added “I guess I will put everything on mail for you guys so that you do not forget”
“ Oh yes Elodie, here is the key, so you guys will be held responsible for what happens in here, but you are free to fool around as much as you want in her, as long as you get the job done.” Both Gazette and Elodie flushed completely red till behind their ears at those words, but Elodie did take the key. I did not understand why they would turn red at those words. Were they so shy to get responsibility? Well there was no real problem because they seemed happy enough.
Ms Lyst gave me a sign so we left them to their own devices while they were still going out of the roof with joy.
Back in the office Ms Lyst said to me “Thanks for taking your job on our first case so seriously. So what do you think about our second case”
Second case? What was she on about?
Seeing the surprised look on my face she said “Don't tell me you did not notice? I'm talking about those two?” Still not getting it, I kept looking baffled “Eline and Elodie! They are clearly into each other. So to nourish the seedlings I got them their own room.” She giggled when she saw me turning as red as a tomato. Oh the shame I felt when I remembered all the innuendos that went past me.
“What a cute innocent child you are,” She said while petting my head. As soon as I came to my senses off course I hit her hand away. What was she thinking. That woman! “But quite feisty too.” she said while shaking and blowing the hand I slapped.
“Maybe it is best to call it a day, we will see each other tomorrow to put our plans into action”
In the meantime I had read all the novels that I had at home, so I went to the cabinet, and quickly picked a few new ones out.
“If you are taking that one, read this one first.” Ms Lyst said rather excitedly, “This is the original, the one you took is the spin-off.”
I sighed. It would take a long time to catch up to her in terms of yuri knowledge. Well, she did make a valid point, so I listened to her. I took the first book too, and left the room to go home.
More y-file craziness tomorrow!
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