Chapter 13 - Cyborgs

Fly flew after Squid into Little Neo Tokyo.

With his 100 eyebots flying around him, Fly had an omnidirectional view of the hacker through his helmet visor: Squid was using his extended mechanical dreadlocks to scuttle down the road at breakneck speed, his body suspended hundreds of feet above the ground. There was no way in hell he was letting this lawbreaker get away!

A flying truck came speeding around a skyscraper.

One of Squid's mechanical dreadlocks shot out and hit the cyborg driver in the head.

Suddenly, the truck swerved towards Fly.

WHAM!

Dazzling lights.

*

Fly woke up with a splitting headache.

He was lying on the road, Squid standing over him with a shit-eating grin.

The hacker spoke with a Jamaican accent. 'Looks like the spider has caught himself a fly.' He chuckled.

Fly tried to get up, but his power armour wouldn't move. He couldn't control his 100 eyebots or engage his system either. He noticed one of Squid's mechanical dreadlocks was sticking out of his helmet.

'Don't bother trying anything, mon,' said Squid. 'I've hacked you good and proper. You're consciousness will be transferred to the Meta Matrix soon.'

Fly struggled to get up anyway. As the Megacorporation's Chief Surveillance Officer, it was his job to make sure lawbreakers like this were detected, caught, and brought to justice, no matter how hard it was. 'Stay right were you are! You have violated the Megacorporation Customer Service Code of Conduct! You will pay a fine or serve your sentence!'

Squid kissed his teeth. 'I'm an idealogical criminal, you bumboclaat; I don't care about any of those Babylon laws. You should be thanking me for checking to see if you were okay; I even called you an ambulance.'

Fly raised an eyebrow. Now this was a surprise. Terrorists from the League of Monsters didn't usually treat law enforcers from the United Worlds with any sympathy. 'What's a guy like you doing working with a scumbag like Tyrannus?'

Squid scowled. 'The Megacorporation killed my gang. For that, I'm going to burn it to the ground.' He turned around. 'Not all monsters are born monsters, y'know; some of us were created.' He extended his cybernetic dreadlocks and scuttled away.

Fly felt himself melting away as his consciousness was transferred to the Meta Matrix.

*

Next thing he knew, Fly was in the middle of a neon blue castle amid a dark universe. The castle was under siege by an group of giant, neon red squids. This was the Meta Matrix's visualisation of his cyber brain being attacked by Squid's viruses.

Luckily for Fly, he was something of a white hat hacker himself. He summoned a firewall in the form of a group of giant, neon green flies, which attacked the squids.

It was okay. He'd regain control of his cyber brain soon enough. Then he'd hunt down that lawbreaker Squid! No one got away with violating the Megacorporation Customer Service Code of Conduct on his watch!

*

Squid walked up the Megacorporation Data Centre. As par for the course with the Megacorporation, the skyscraper was a monolith of black glass which just screamed evil. The security cameras on the corners of the building followed him as he passed; there was an all-points bulletin out on him and all the other Outcasts in Babel, but he was using a temporary glamour program that made all AI and cyber brains see him as a little old lady.

He walked into the reception area. There were two Corporate Samurai guarding the entrance. Both were wearing karuta power armour and had laser katanas sheathed at their hips.

Tricky.

There was a pretty Japanese secretary at the reception desk. What's more, there was a cartoonish, humanoid shark animatronic in the lounge area.

Doable.

He walked up to the reception desk and took a small laptop out of his inner trench coat pocket. Thinking about his grandmother, he did his best impression of a little old lady. 'Hello, my dear. I'm sorry to be a bother, but I bought this from the Megacorporation's computer hardware store last week, and it seems to have gotten a virus.'

'Oh, no.' The secretary smiled. 'Let me have a look.' She took a long wire out of a drawer and plugged one end into the laptop and the other into the USB port at the back of her neck. Her eyes rolled back in their sockets as she accessed the laptop directly using her cyber brain. 'Hold on. This will only take a moment.'

'Thank you.'

The shark animatronic spoke with a cheery electronic voice. 'You know, ma'am, Sakura here might be humouring you, but this isn't actually a computer hardware store! This the Megacorporation Data Centre! Here, we process maps from all over the United Worlds and combine them to create a one big map of the Multiverse! Pretty cool, huh?! If you want, we could have an IT guy from the real computer hardware store sent to your house any time you have a problem! All you'd need to do is join our Premium Computer Maintenance Plan for the low, low price of ten'—he lowered his voice—'thousand'—he raised his voice—'dollars a month!'

Squid shook his head. This was Meggy the Megalodon, the Megacorporation's company mascot. 'Trying to bleed a little old lady dry! Have you no shame?!'

Meggy laughed. 'Wow! You have sharp ears for someone your age, ma'am! Good for you!'

The secretary suddenly spasmed.

Good. Squid's laptop viruses had managed to infect her cyber brain and by extension, the building's security AI.

Bars descended in front of the entrance.

Nice. With the building locked down, no one from outside could interfere in what he was about to do.

The Corporate Samurai drew neon red laser katanas.

Squid shot one of his mechanical dreadlocks into Meggy the Megalodon's head.

Meggy grinned with big sharp teeth. 'Kill all humans! Kill all humans!' He rushed at one of the Corporate Samurai and took a nasty bite out of his neck.

Squid grabbed his laptop, transformed it into a submachine gun, and filled the other man with holes.

Meggy turned to him, his mouth full of blood. 'What now, boss?'

Squid reloaded his laptop gun. 'Just follow me. This building contains a very important map that I need to find.'

'Okey dokey!'

Squid checked to see if the secretary was okay: she was hunched over the desk, her face lying in a pool of her own vomit.

He grimaced. 'Sorry, sweets.'

Just then, his little old lady glamour program timed out.

'Holy crap!' said Meggy. 'You're one freaky broad!'

'Hush, you edeeat.'

Together, they walked around the reception desk and entered the office area behind. Japanese salarymen, office ladies, and android maids holding trays of tea and biscuits screamed as they passed.

'Relax,' said Squid, 'I have no interest in worker bees; I want the queen.'

Squid and Meggy entered the elevator. Squid selected the fist floor: Data Processing.

After some elevator music, the doors opened to a large room full of black, ceiling-high computers.

Squid nodded to Meggy. 'You go first.'

The animatronic grinned. 'Roger that!' He walked in and looked around. 'Coast is clear!'

Squid followed him in and inserted all of his mechanical dreadlocks into the ceiling-high computers.

Information flooded into his cyber brain.

Suddenly, Meggy split in two.

Squid kissed his teeth. He'd gotten too careless. Of course there would be security in a place like this.

He threw out an EMP grenade.

The electromagnetic pulse revealed three cyber njnjas that had previously been invisible. All of them had vibro katanas.

Tricky.

The cyber ninjas rushed him. Squid shot the heads off two with his laptop gun before the third slashed him across the chest. Thankfully, his nanofibre trench coat took the brunt of the deadly vibrations.

Squid pulled his mechanical dreadlocks out of the ceiling-high computers and impaled the cyber ninja with the hacking spikes. The man exploded in a burst of blood.

Shaking, Squid sat down and panted.

The map he wanted wasn't in these computers (though he did now know all the states of the United States of Earth), which left only one other option....

He tried to reload his laptop gun, but the vibrations had severely damaged the parts.

As an afterthought, he hacked one of the cyber ninjas and took their vibro katana. You never knew when a little cyber ninjutsu might come in handy.

Squid entered the elevator and selected the second floor: Boardrooms.

After some more elevator music, the doors opened to a network of halls and boardrooms. He walked to the door labelled DIRECTOR NEZUMI and kicked it open.

Inside, an old Japanese man was snorting cocaine off the naked body of an android maid. He looked up with wide eyes. 'What the hell?! Security!'

A robotic spider tank crawled out of a hatch in the ceiling.

Squid jumped onto the ceiling using his cyber ninjutsu just before the spider tank blew up the spot where he'd been standing. He lunged forwards with his vibro katana and split the machine in two. The two halves fell and crushed the conference table below.

Director Nezumi screamed.

He knew cyber ninjutsu would come in handy!

Squid dropped to the floor.

'Mausu!' said Director Nezumi. 'Kill him!'

The naked android maid sprang up from the desk and ran towards Squid.

He grinned. 'Easy, sweets!' He shot one of his mechanical dreadlocks into her head and hacked her. 'That's better. Hold this bumboclaat down for me while I work, okay?'

Mausu nodded and put Director Nezumi in a painful-looking arm lock.

Squid walked over to the safe and ripped it open with his mechanical dreadlocks. There were wads of Japanese yen, plastic bags full of cocaine, and a red USB drive.

Bingo.

He inserted the USB drive into the port at the back of his neck.

Information flooded into his cyber brain.

The map he wanted was there in full.

He smiled.

'Boss,' Squid said to Tyrannus through his system. 'I've got it.'

'Good,' said Tyrannus. 'Make your way to the rendezvous.'

'Yah.'

Squid turned to Director Nezumi. Now here was a queen bee. He used his system to bring up the old man's file. Like all Megacorporation higher-ups, he was scum. Murder of corporate rivals, rape of female employees, theft from customers, all swept under the rug by the company.

Squid sauntered over to him. 'You know, in Edo period Japan, feudal lords who failed to protect their castle would disembowel themselves and have one of their retainers behead them. It was a form of honourable suicide called seppuku. Now, I doubt you have the honour to disembowel yourself'—he brandished his vibro katana and grinned—'but I'd be happy to cut your head off for you.'

Director Nezumi screamed.

Squid raised his vibro katana.

Something crashed through the window.

Squid kissed his teeth. I thought the windows would be shatter-proof.

The windows were shatter-proof.

The person standing there was none other than Fly. By the looks of the bloodied man, he'd used his own power armoured body as a battering ram to get into the building.

Squid had to respect the work ethic. 'Well done, mon. Seems I underestimated you a bit. You actually managed to take out 75 percent of my viruses.' He raised his mechanical dreadlocks menacingly. 'But the real fight starts now.'

*

'Engage target!' said Fly.

100 eyebots swarmed into the building and fired a volley of lasers at Squid. The hacker blocked the beams with his mechanical dreadlocks, and they ricocheted around the room, cutting up everything. Not wanting to hit Director Nezumi or his mistress, Fly switched from Laser Mode to Electric Bludgeon Mode and started pummelling at Squid with two swarms of electrified eyebots, punching with his smart gloves to control them. Squid parried with his mechanical dreadlocks, and a rapid, sparking melee ensued.

As the two of them fought in the real world, Squid assumed direct control of the viruses in Fly's cyber brain. The Meta Matrix bled into real life as giant, neon red squids warred with giant, neon green flies in the boardroom.

Despite his best efforts, Fly was soon getting overwhelmed in both the real world and the Meta Matrix.

Squid was good. Why the hell hadn't he ever heard of this guy before?! He'd said his gang had been killed by the Megacorporation, right? Fly started running through all the gangs they'd raided recently in his mind: the Animals, the Rubik's Cult, the Klown Klux Klan.... No! He hadn't meant the Cybergoths, had he?!

This was serious. A Cybergoth in the Megacorporation Data Centre was bad news. Fly absolutely couldn't let Squid escape!

In one last, desperate move, he flew at Squid using the full power of his mechanical fly wings and tried to body slam him up against the wall. He might not have been the best fighter or the best hacker in the world, but he was the most tenacious agent the Megacorpoation had—and his power armour was made of titanium!

Squid threw Fly to the floor using what felt like cyber ninjutsu.

WHAM!

Darkness.

Then a rain of neon green ones and zeroes.

*

Squid beheaded Director Nezumi in one stroke, lifted the naked and beautiful Mausu over his shoulder, and leapt out of the broken window.

People who said crime didn't pay were just lousy criminals.