Chapter 41:

BlipXP - "Magic Pill"

ALTaccounti's Roasting Book! (Reopened)


Well, well the legend is back with another shitpost to roast so lets get into it!

Parody Summary:

One Hobo with no bitches, memories or a cardboard box to live in wakes up in a rundown and abandoned back alley, it seems that at least today there is no rape there for the first time in 30 years.

He quickly finds out that the only thing he has is on him are a bunch of normal looking pills that were sadly not red or blue. He did what ever retard does when they see random potentially HIV infested pills, you take them of course!

And so, he has the best drug trip known to mankind as his memories slowly return!

Will this dude remember that he has no friends in time? Read "Meth Pill" to find out.

chap 1

MC doesn't know what he is doing and I too do not know that so at least we on the same page lol.

Okay we get you penopause ass you have no memories okay fine, sheesh this man is roasting himself or catching himself in 4k for falling into the anemesia trope, like mister hobo do you want me to roast you are going to do it yourself all the time?

Okay this man just ate a random pill found in his pocket and did the horniest moan known in hentai history. Sheesh this man must be the SSS rank virgin although he forgot his memories, I highly doubt he had some action before it tho, since based from the moaning alone, he is a down bad degenerate, that has never touched grass before.

holy shit that pill did a number on him its like from taking 1 pill alone his life just turned into CGI holleywood shitfest, this man in turned into stone where birds looks like bootleg pokemon and plants were moving, wait plants not moving is abnormal since when? Like don't sticks and grass flowers etc move by the wind? anyways I am using too much brain power MC is clearly mentally challenged lmao.

Okay..... just what the fuck....

Wait I need to recover so here me out.

This man being a massive pile of rocks was now being called by a girl and she jumped on top of him and start rubbing her body, like.........

WAIT ONYX HAS IN THE POKEMON!!!

YO YOU KNOW THAT IT HAS A HORN RIGHT, FUCKING HELL THAT IS CLEVER!!!

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This man is getting orgasms from this like I......

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Okay the author has some really weird kinks and has probably has reached peak virginity, man needs go get some coochie before he becomes the lord of incels lmao.

NEXT!

chap 2

So wait this man woke up in cardboard box again in some back alley I am starting to see a pattern here lol. Of course I decided to do the normal thing again and take some LSD trip, lets see what it is this time.

Okay long story short man was about to get eaten alive by some random woman, like what is it with all these females, its already known that the MC has 0 game, no bitches, no infinity stone and even uglier than an ugly bastard from your local hentai manga.

Man even turned into Sonic the Hedgehog to 360 noscope that woman. I think this is some Vorelando thing anyways.....

Let the roasting has been less than mid but this story is just a roast itself by how garbage it is SHEESH!!!

NEXT!

chap 3

Okay so the man ended up in the hospital and wanted to take some of those pills again, but then MC hentai sex fantasy became reality, a nurse cat called his beta homeless ass cuck to follow her, his mircopenis being a full whooping 2 inch now followed her into the doctor's room.

Too bad it was a gilf instead of a milf, mc had to go and cope with the fact that he had a granny fetish, because if you are unable to get anything young, you go for the old right?

He took another pill and had another acid trip down *insert shitty raper overdose* lane. Welp I guess he wasn't done with being an anthropomorphic animal, as he somehow got his ass in green hill zone, being very cultured sonic fan I could easily recognise the city escape, Sonic 06 theme and Secret rings theme.

After running around like a retard the HIV pills loft its effect and he is back at the hospital again. I think this man only dreams about sonic to cope with the fact that he cums in 5 sec every time he has sex like the loser he is.

YOOO WHAT THE FUCK!!

Man just drank tea put half on top of his head, somehow made his tea pee, then he undrank it again. Like this shit reads like glitch in a game lmao.

Anyways man left and passes out again.

chap 4

Okay I figured out the format.

MC is a homeless beta cuck.

Got no money.

Got no bitches.

Got no designer clothes.

Got no game.

Hasn't seen a real shower for over 3 months.

Is in an alley, masturbating to nothing because he got no bread for 4G plan or even a phone.

Sees HIV infested pills in a cardboard box.

Instead of using a single braincell and try to figure out what the fuck his going on, he takes those pills and go on a classic LSD Deluxe Trip 420 edition.

and repeat.

Lol this Magic Pill in a NUTshell!

Anyways back to the chapter!

He took another pill and actually got into a hentai fantasy only he is so trash that even his own sexual hallucination is cucking him lmao.

And somehow we ended up in a bar full of pensive discord emoji's.

To keep this simple this part is the definition of a glorified acid trip, like those pills must have taken him to the AIDS stage already lmao.

WAIT WAIT!!!!

IS THERE A PLOT???!!!

HE TOOK A PILL AND AFTER HIS BOOTLEG LSD TRIP, THERE WAS ONE LESS PILL IN THE BOX?!!!!

OMG BIGGEST PLOT REVEAL EVER LIKE IT ISN'T AS IF YOU TAKE SOMETHING NATURALLY THERE ARE GOING TO BE LESS OF THEM, BUT HOLY SHIT I COULDN'T HAVE FIGURD THAT SHIT ON MY OWN.

EVEN IF SHAKESPEARE WOULD GET A HEART ATTACK OF THAT REVEAL!!!

THIS IS PEAK FICTION OMG 69/10 IGN WOULD KILL THEMSELVES AGAIN!!!

Chap 5

MC eats Pill.

MC becomes raincoat.

MC thinks raincoat equals drip, like this man needs to replace his eyes cause his bloodline him this man some F tier ones.

Okay so some Mario Odessey talking hat ass on a chair sniffed on some self aware crack and want on a this is a shitpost rant, where after it suddenly became a fucking bootleg sherlock holmes that tries too hard to be interesting, even tho me and the bois simply don't give a single Donkey Kong dong.

Bruh this wanna be big brain dialogue trying to do as if there is any plot is going on, but its all meaningless banter.

YALL FUCKING BORING!!!

SKIMMING INTENSIFIES!!!!

Okay there are no pills anymore.

Will the MC get finally get post nut clarity?

Will he finally realise that he is beta loser?

And that he will never get bitches if doesn't get out that fucking alley?

Well you will never know because..

I AM DONE!!!!!

This story is basically a way for the author to cope with his sad as life without the reader knowing that the MC in this book is just him. A homeless beta cuck with no designers clothes. Like this is written by 100% certified virgin that probably pays over $300 monthly OnlyFans. This shitpost is so shit, that even staring at cat poop seems more interesting.

shitpost/10 would rather eat ass that hasn't been which washed for 8 months than to read this horrible excuse of a novel again!

XD XD XD XD XD XD JK JK JK JK

Final Review:

This novel is simple just a random shitpost filled with references its good enough for quick read I guess.

So check it out if you are into that genre, yes shitpost for me its own genre now lmao.

P.S: If you want to enter too, please apply at the form!

P.S.S: (I am glad to be back into the roasting game it has been a while)

Now see ya at the next reactionary/roast chapter!

Author Link: https://www.honeyfeed.fm/u/7201 

WittyAcorn
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flameball918
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ArufaBeta
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BlipXP
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